.  OF  CAT. 


THAT  MOTHER-IN-LAW 


OF 


BE  TO  HER  VIRTUES  VERT  K1WD, 

BE  TO   HER   FAULTS  A   LITTLE  BLIND." 


PHILADELPHIA: 
THE  KEYSTONE  PUBLISHING  CO. 

1889. 


COPYRIGHT 

BY  JOHN  E.  POTTER  AND  COMPANY, 
1S79 


dedicated 

TO    ALL    THOSE    HAVING 

MOTHERS-IN-LAW 

OB  EXPECTING  TO  HAVB, 


2132703 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  PAGB 

L  BESSIE  AND  I  AND  BESSIE'S  MOTHER.       ...  7 

IL  COURTING  THE   MOTHEB 15 

TTT.  OUR  MAKBIAGE 28 

rv.  MOUNTAINS  AND  MORE  MOTHER-IN-LAW    ...  37 

V.  THE  EISE  AND  FALL 50 

VL  "WHAT  is  HOME  WITHOUT  A  MOTHER-IN-LAW  ?       .  71 

VII.  Miss  VAN'S  PARTY  AND  ANOTHER  UNPLEASANTNESS  84 

VIII.  ANOTHER  CHARLIE  IN  THE  FIELD       ....  98 

IX.  THE  SHADOW  ON  OUR  LIFE 108 

X.  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW  SUBDUED 115 

XL  GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE 123 

XII.  BABY  TALK,  OLD  DIVES,  AND  OTHER  THINGS  .       .  138 

XIIL  A  SURPRISE 150 

XIV.  A  HAPPY  PROSPECT               158 


MY   MOTHEB-IN-LAW. 


CHAPTER    I. 

BESSIE  AND  I  AND   BESSIE'S   MOTHER. 

"  V\7HY,  Charlie,  you  sha'n't  talk  so  about  my 
mother !  I  won't  allow  it." 

"  It  does  sound  a  little  rough,  my  dear ;  but  I 
can't  help  it.  She  does  exasperate  me  so.  She 
doesn't  show  a  proper  deference  for  your  hus- 
band, my  dear.  We  are  married  now,  and  she 
ought  to  give  up  her  objections  to  me.  I  can't  be 
expected  to  place  myself  in  her  leading  strings." 

"But  you  mustn't  demand  too  much  at  once, 
and  should  try  to  conciliate  her.  Now  do,  for  my 
sake  ;  won't  you,  dear?  " 

Here  we  were,  only  a  month  married,  and 
spending  our  honeymoon  at  a  most  charming 
summer  resort,  where  there  was  no  excuse  for 
getting  out  of  patience.  Everything  was  beau- 


8  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

tiful  and  attractive :  Little  hotel,  strange  to  say, 
quite  delightful ;  no  fault  to  find  with  surround- 
ings and  accommodations ;  my  darling  Bessie, 
as  sweet  as  an  angel  and  determined  to  be  happy 
and  to  make  me  happy ;  everything,  in  short, 
calculated  to  give  us  a  long  summer  of  delight. 
That  is,  if  Bessie  had  only  been  an  orphan. 
But  there  was  her  mother,  who  had  joined  us 
on  our  summer  trip,  after  the  first  two  weeks  of 
unalloyed  happiness,  and  threatened  to  accom- 
pany us  through  life.  Already  it  almost  made 
the  prospect  dismal.  The  idea  that  Bessie  and 
I  would  ever  quarrel,  or  even  have  any  impatient 
words  together,  had  seemed  to  me  to  be  simply 
ridiculous.  I  had  seen  what  I  had  seen.  My 
dashing  friend,  Fred,  and  his  stylish  wife,  —  they 
had  been  married  two  years,  and  a  visible  coldness 
had  come  upon  them.  I  knew,  by  an  occasional 
angry  whisper  and  knitting  of  the  brow  before 
people,  that  he  must  sometimes  swear  and  rave  in 
the  privacy  of  their  own  rooms,  and  her  cutting 
replies  or  haughty  indifference  showed  that  there 
had  been  a  deal  of  love  lost  between  them  in  those 
two  years. 


BESSIE    AND   I   AND   BESSIE'S   MOTHER.  9 

Other  people,  too,  got  indifferent  or  downright 
hostile  in  their  marital  relations.  But  then,  I  was 
not  a  dashing  fellow  and  Bessie  was  not  stylish, 
and  in  other  ways  we  were  quite  different  from 
most  people.  Ours  had  been  a  real  love-match 
from  the  first.  Bessie  was  simple  and  unaffected, 
honest  and  pure  in  every  thought,  and  determined 
to  make  me  a  faithful  and  loving  wife  till  death 
did  us  part.  As  for  me,  why,  of  course  I  was  gen- 
erous and  affectionate,  ready  to  make  any  sacrifice 
and  bear  any  burden  for  the  trusting  creature  who 
had  so  freely  given  herself  into  my  keeping. 
There  should  be  no  clouds  to  darken  her  life.  I 
would  never  be  selfish  or  impatient,  or  for  one 
moment  hurt  her  gentle  heart  by  heedless  act  or 
careless  word. 

But  plague  upon  it !  I  could  not  get  on  with  her 
mother ;  and  here  I  was,  before  our  summer  holi- 
day was  over,  and  before  we  had  settled  down 
to  that  home  life  in  which  trouble  and  annoyance 
must  needs  come,  getting  out  of  patience  and  say- 
ing cruel  things ;  and  there  was  Bessie,  sitting  in 
the  summer  twilight  with  a  light  shawl  drawn  over 
her  shoulders,  pouting  her  pretty  lips  with  vexa- 


10  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

tion,  and  digging  the  toes  of  her  little  boots  into 
the  balustrade  in  front  of  us,  because  I  had  ex- 
pressed a  pious  wish  that  her  mother  was  in  Jeri- 
cho. I  declare,  if  there  weren't  tears  gathering 
in  her  gentle  blue  eyes  ! 

I  was  angry  with  myself,  and,  putting  my  arm 
around  her  slender  waist,  I  laid  my  cheek  against 
hers  and  said  soothingly,  "  Never  mind,  darling  !  I 
did  n't  mean  it.  Don't  think  any  more  about  it." 

But  as  we  sat  for  the  next  five  minutes  without 
saying  a  word,  I  could  n't  help  pondering  on  the 
possibilities  of  the  future,  for  Mrs.  Pinkerton  was 
to  live  with  us.  That  was  one  of  the  understood 
conditions  of  our  bargain,  and  it  was  evident  that 
she  was  to  furnish  the  test  of  all  my  good  resolu- 
tions. 

Mrs.  Pinkerton  had  been  left  a  widow  when 
Bessie  was  twelve  years  old,  with  a  neat  little  cot- 
tage in  the  suburbs  of  the  city  and  a  snug  compe- 
tence in  a  secure  investment.  I  was  fairly  settled 
in  business,  with  an  income  that  would  enable  us 
to  live  in  modest  comfort,  and  was  determined 
not  to  disturb  the  investment  or  have  it  drawn 
upon  in  any  way  for  household  expenses.  But 


BESSIE   AND   1   AND   BESSIE'S   MOTHER.          11 

the  old  lady  —  I  already  began  to  speak  of  her  by 
that  disrespectful  epithet,  although  she  was  still 
under  fifty  —  was  to  live  with  us.  I  had  readily 
acquiesced  in  that  arrangement,  for  was  it  not  my 
darling's  wish  ?  And  I  could  not  decently  make 
any  objection,  for  it  was  mighty  convenient  to 
have  a  pretty  cottage,  ready  furnished,  in  one  of 
the  finest  suburbs  of  the  city  in  which  I  was  em- 
ployed. 

Mrs.  Pinkerton  was  a  good  woman  in  her  way : 
how  could  she  be  anything  else  and  the  mother  of 
such  an  angel  as  I  had  secured  for  my  wife  ?  She 
meant  well,  of  course ;  I  admitted  that,  and  I 
ought  to  be  on  the  pleasantest  terms  with  her,  and 
determined  from  the  first  that  I  would  be.  But 
somehow  we  were  not  congenial,  and  when  that 
is  the  case  the  best  people  in  the  world  find  it 
hard  to  get  along  agreeably  together. 

The  course  of  true  love  between  Bessie  and  me 
had  run  very  smooth.  From  the  moment  my  old 
school-fellow,  her  brother  George,  now  in  Paris 
studying  medicine,  had  introduced  me  to  her,  I 
had  been  completely  won  by  her  sweet  disposition 
and  charming  ways,  and  she  in  turn  was  captivated 


MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


by  my  manly  independence,  strong  good  sense, 
and  generous  impulses.  I  am  not  vain,  but  the 
truth  is  the  truth  ;  and,  as  I  am  telling  this  story 
myself,  I  must  set  down  the  facts.  AVe  fell  in  love 
right  away,  and  it  was  not  long  before  we  were 
mutually  convinced  that  we  were  made  expressly 
for  each  other  and  could  never  be  happy  apart. 

So  it  happened  that  I  had  to  do  the  courting 
with  the  mother.  She  was  the  one  to  be  won 
over,  and  it  was  not  likely  to  be  an  easy  task, 
for  I  plainly  saw  that  she  did  not  quite  approve  of 
me.  When  I  was  first  introduced  to  her,  she 
looked  at  me  with  her  great,  steady  blue  eyes,  as 
if  analyzing  me  to  the  very  boots,  and  evidently 
set  me  down  as  a  somewhat  arrogant  and  self- 
sufficient  young  fellow  who  needed  a  judicious 
course  of  discipline  to  teach  him  humility.  I  was 
generally  self-possessed  and  had  no  little  confidence 
in  myself,  but  I  confess  that  I  was  embarrassed  in 
her  presence.  She  was  not  at  all  like  Bessie,  I 
thought.  She  had  taught  school  in  her  youth,  and 
had  learned  to  command  and  be  obeyed.  The 
late  Mr.  Pinkerton,  I  fancied,  had  found  it  useless 
to  contend  against  her  authority,  and  this  had 


BESSIE  D    I    AND    BESSIE'S    MOTHER.         13 


increased  her  disposition  to  carry  things  her 
own  way  ;  and  her  seven  years'  widowhood, 
with  its  independence  and  self-reliance,  had  not 
prepared  her  to  be  submissive  to  the  wishes  of 

others. 

• 

Still,  she  loved  her  daughter  with  tender  devo- 
tion, and  her  chief  anxiety  was  to  have  her  every 
wish  gratified.  Therein  was  my  advantage,  for  1 
knew  that  Bessie,  gentle  and  trusting  as  she  was, 
would  never  give  me  up  or  allow  her  life  to  be 
happy  without  the  gratification  of  her  first  love. 
So  I  set  to  work  confidently  to  make  myself 
agreeable  to  the  widow  and  win  her  consent  to 
our  marriage. 

"  You  must  bring  mamma  around  to  approve  of 
it,"  Bessie  had  said,  on  that  ever-to-be-remem- 
bered evening,  when  we  were  returning  from  a 
long  drive,  and  after  an  hour  of  sweet  confidences 
she  h*ad  surrendered  herself  without  reserve  to 
my  future  keeping.  "  She  is  the  best  mother  in  the 
world,  and  loves  me  very  much,  but  she  is  pecul- 
iar in  some  ways,  and  I  am  afraid  she  doesn't 
altogether  like  you.  I  would  not  for  the  world 
displease  her,  that  is,  if  I  could  help  it,"  she 


14  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

added,  glancing  up,  as  much  as  to  say,  "It  is  all 
settled  now  forever  and  forevermore,  whatever 
may  befall,  but  do  get  my  mother  to  consent  to  it 
with  a  good  grace." 


COURTING   THE   MOTHER.  15 


CHAPTER  II. 

COURTING   THE    MOTHER. 

"A/TRS.  PINKERTON  sat  in  an  easy-chair  near 
the  window,  doing  nothing,  when  I  marched 
in  to  begin  the  siege.  I  felt  diffident  and  un- 
easy, although  I  am  not  usually  troubled  that 
way.  But  if  I  should  live  to  the  advanced  age  of 
Methusaleh,  I  could  never  forget  Mrs.  Pinkerton's 
appearance  on  that  memorable  occasion.  Before 
I  had  spoken  a  word  I  saw  that  she  knew  what 
was  coming,  and  had  hardened  her  heart  against 
me.  She  had  anticipated  all  that  I  would  say, 
had  discounted  my  plea,  as  it  were,  and  prejudged 
the  whole  case.  Her  look  plainly  said:  "Young 
man,  I  know  your  pitiful  story.  You  need  n't 
tell  me.  You  may  be  very  well  as  young  men  go, 
you  fancy  you  can  more  than  fill  a  mother's  place 
in  Bessie's  inexperienced  heart,  but  you  can't  get 


16  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

me  out.  I  am  Adamant.  Your  intentions  are  all 
very  honorable,  but  you  are  a  graceless  intruder. 
Your  credentials  are  rejected  on  sight."  I  saw  the 
difficult  task  I  had  undertaken.  "Mrs.  Pinker- 
ton,"  I  said,  mustering  all  my  forces,  "  it  is  no  use 
mincing  the  matter,  or  beating  about  the  shrub- 
bery. I  am  in  love  with  your  daughter,  and 
Bessie  is  in  love  with  me.  I  believe  I  can  make 
Bessie  happy,  and  am  sure  nothing  but  Bessie  can 
make  me  happy.  I  have  come  to  ask  your  con- 
sent to  our  marriage."  Then  I  hung  my  head  like 
a  whipped  school-boy. 

Mrs.  Pinkerton  took  off  her  eye-glasses,  and 
then  put  them  on  again  with  considerable  care ; 
after  which  she  lefeled  a  look  at  me  and  through 
me  that  made  me  feel  like  calling  out  "  Murder  !  " 
or  making  for  the  door.  But  I  stood  my  ground, 
and  heard  her  say  quietly,  — 

w  So  you  are  engaged  to  my  daughter  ?  " 

A  simple  remark,  but  the  tone  meant  "  You  are 
a  puppy."  I  had  to  muster  all  my  resolution  to 
reply  politely  and  coolly  that,  with  her  gracious 
consent,  such  was  the  fact. 

wAre   you  aware    that   it  is  customary  to  ob- 


COURTING  THE   MOTHER.  17 

tain  parental  consent  before  proceeding  to  such 
lengths  ?  " 

"  Mrs.  Piukerton,  excuse  me.  I  thought  in  my 
ignorance  that  it  would  be  just  as  well  to  do  that 
afterwards ;  or  rather,  I  did  n't  think  anything 
about  it.  I  was  so  much  in  love  with  Bessie  that  it 
was  all  out  before  I  knew  it.  If  I  had  thought, 
of  course  I  would  have  — " 

"Yes,  yes,"  said  Mrs.  Pinkerton,  "  if  your  kind 
of  people  ever  thought,  they  would  undoubtedly 
do  differently.  Bessie  certainly  ought  to  know 
better.  Girls  rush  into  matrimony  now-a-days 
with  as  much  carelessness  as  they  would  choose 
partners  at  a  game  of  croquet.  I  should  have 
been  consulted  in  this.  It  is  all  wrong  to  allow 
young  people  to  have  such  entire  freedom  in  affairs 
of  this  kind  as  they  are  allowed  in  these  days." 

"  But  certainly,  my  dear  Mrs.  Pinkerton,"  I 
said,  becoming  somewhat  impatient,  "you  will 
not  refuse  your  consent  in  this  case?  Bessie's 
happiness  —  that  is,  the  happiness  of  all  of  us,  or 
—  our  happiness  —  Bessie's  and  mine,  I  would 
say  —  " 

K  No  doubt  your  happiness  is  very  important  to 


18  MY  MOTHEB-IN-LAW. 

yourself,  Mr.  Travers,  and  as  to  my  daughter's 
well-being,  I  have  looked  to  that  for  quite  a  num- 
ber of  years  past,  and  I  flatter  myself  I  shall  be 
able  to  look  out  for  it  in  the  future." 

w  Not  if  you  insist  on  parting  us  I  "  I  cried,  get- 
ling  out  of  patience  and  letting  all  my  carefully 
prepared  plans  of  assault  go  by  the  board.  K  You 
may  withhold  your  consent,  but  that  cannot  pre- 
vent our  loving  each  other  I " 

"  Of  course  not.  Nothing  on  earth  can  prevent 
young  people  who  are  in  love  from  making  them- 
selves ridiculous.  But  getting  married  and  living 
together  soon  cures  them  of  sentimentalism." 

"Won't  you  give  us  that  chance  to  be  cured 
then,  my  dear  Mrs.  Pinkerton  ?  "  I  exclaimed,  re- 
gaining a  little  tact. 

She  seemed  to  be  taking  it  under  advisement, 
and  my  courage  came  up  a  little.  Then,  looking 
at  me  with  her  peculiarly  searching  gaze,  she  said, 
"  It  is  n't  necessary  to  argue  the  case ;  I  know 
all  you  would  say.  You  love  Bessie  to  distrac- 
tion ;  you  could  not  live  without  her ;  your  heart 
would  be  hopelessly  broken  if  you  had  to  give 
her  up ;  you  will  be  true  to  her  forever  and  a  day ; 


COURTING  THE  MOTHER. 


you  offer  her  all  of  the  good  things  of  this  world 
that  any  sane  woman  could  desire,  besides  which 
you  throw  in  an  eternal,  undying  devotion  ;  and 
so  on,  to  the  end  of  the  chapter.  We  will  con- 
sider that  all  said,  and  so  save  time  and  trouble. 
You  think  that  ought  to  end  the  matter  and  bring 
me  to  your  way  of  thinking.  I  wonder  at  the  ef- 
frontery of  young  men,  who  walk  into  our  house- 
holds and  carelessly  tell  us  mothers  what  is  best 
for  our  children,  and  assure  us,  between  their 
puffs  of  tobacco  smoke,  that  a  case  of  three  weeks' 
moonshining  outweighs  the  devotion  of  a  life- 
time." 

I  began  to  see  what  course  was  open  for  me. 
The  old  lady  was  jealous,  and  I  could  not  blame 
her.  Her  objections  were  general,  not  specific. 
Strategy  must  take  the  place  of  a  direct  assault. 
There  flashed  through  my  mind  the  ridiculous  old 
nonsense  rhyme  quotation,  — 

"  I  must  soften  the  heart  of  this  terrible  cow." 

I  said  gently,  "  I  can  readily  see  .how  a  mother 
must  regard  the  claims  of  the  man  who  comes  to 
her  demanding  her  most  precious  treasure  ;  and 


20  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

what  you  say  makes  me  feel  how  presumptuous  my 
demand  must  seem.  I  love  your  daughter  —  thaC 
must  be  my  only  excuse.  And  after  all,  what  has 
happened  was  only  what  a  mother  must  expect. 
Your  daughter's  love  will  not  be  the  less  yours 
because  she  also  loves  the  man  of  her  choice.  That 
ehe  should  love  and  be  loved  was  inevitable." 

"  We  will  not  go  into  the  discussion  any  fur- 
ther," she  interrupted.  "I  don't  wish  to  say  any- 
thing uncomplimentary  of  you  personally,  but  I 
simply  am  not  prepared  to  give  my  daughter  up 
at  present.  My  opinion  of  men  in  general  is 
good,  so  long  as  they  do  not  interfere  with  me  or 
mine." 

(Mental  note :  "  May  there  be  precious  little 
interference  between  us  ! ") 

"Your  judgment  is  doubtless  good,"  I  said, 
smiling;  "but  there  are  exceptions  which  prove 
the  rule,  and  I  hope  you  will  find  that  even  I  will 
improve  upon  acquaintance." 

"Your  conceit  is  abominable,  young  man." 

"  Thank  you.  I  have  found  no  one  who  could 
flatter  me  except  myself,  so  I  lose  no  opportunity 
to  give  myself  a  good  character." 


COURTING   THE    MOTHER.  21 

"Especially  in  addressing  the  mother  of  the 
woman  you  wish  to  marry,  eh?" 

"  Precisely,  as  she  is  naturally  prejudiced  against 
me.  My  dear  Mrs.  Pinkerton,  what  must  I  do  to 
please  you?" 

"  Hold  your  tongue  !  " 

"Anything  but  that.  You  admit  that  I  am  a 
good  fellow  enough,  and  that  Bessie  would  prob- 
ably marry  some  one  in  course  of  time.  Now,  I 
don't  see  why  you  cannot  make  us  both  happy  by 
giving  your  consent.  It  costs  you  a  pang  to  do  it. 
I  honor  you  for  that.  Give  me  the  right  to  con- 
sole you." 

"By  making  myself  an  object  of  pity?  No, 
not  yet,  not  yet.  I  must,  at  least,  have  time  to 
think." 

I  inwardly  cursed  my  luck.  How  long  was 
this  sort  of  thing  going  to  last  ?  I  was  about  to 
rise  and  take  my  leave,  when  an  inspiration 
struck  me. 

"Mrs.  Piukerton,"  I  said  gravely,  "what  you 
have  said  of  the  tics  that  exist  between  you  and 
your  daughter  has  touched  me  deeply.  I  believe 
we  young  people  do  not  half  appreciate  a  mother's 


22  MT  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

unchanging  love.  It  lies  so  far  beneath  the  sur- 
face that  we  are  too  apt  to  forget  its  constant 
blessing.  My  mother  died  when  I  was  very 
young.  Ah,  if  she  were  only  here  now,  to  plead 
my  cause  for  me  1  " 

With  these  words,  I  turned  on  my  heel  and 
hastily  got  out  of  the  room.  I  went  into  the 
garden  and  lighted  a  cigar,  the  better  to  think 
over  the  situation.  I  could  not  determine  what 
progress,  if  any,  I  had  made  in  the  good  graces 
of  Mrs.  Pinkerton.  While  I  was  cogitating, 
Bessie  came  out  and  approached  me  with  an 
inquiring  look.  I  am  afraid  my  returning  glance 
did  not  greatly  reassure  her.  As  she  came  up 
and  took  my  arm,  she  said,  — 

"Well?" 

"Well  I  No,  it's  not  very  well.  I  am  beaten, 
my  dear.  Your  mother  is  simply  a  stony-hearted 
parent ! " 

"What  did  she  say?" 

"  Oh,  she  wants  you  to  grow  up  an  old  maid  — 
as  if  such  a  thing  were  possible  !  —  and  says  that 
lovers  have  no  idea  of  what  a  mean,  cruel  thing  it 
is  to  rob  people  of  only  daughters ;  and  that  she 


COURTING   THE   MOTHER.  23 

shall  require  time  to  think  of  it.  What  do  you 
think  of  that?" 

Bessie  knitted  her  pretty  brows,  and  dug  her 
toes  into  the  walk. 

K  Perhaps  I  had  better  go  to  her  ?  "  she  said. 

K  Of  course  you  must.  But  I  know  it  won't  be 
of  any  use  just  yet.  We  must,  as  she  says,  give  her 
time.  She  will  come  around  all  right  at  the  end 
of  nine  or  ten  years.  The  fact  is,  Bessie,  she  's 
a  little  bit  jealous  of  me  and  regards  me  as  an 
intruder." 

*  Poor,  dear  mamma ! "  said  Bessie,  her  eyes 
becoming  moist. 

"  Poor,  dear  pussy-cat  1  You  should  have  seen 
her  shoot  me  with  her  eyes  and  ridicule  my  honest 
sentiment.  She  used  me  roughly,  my  dear,  and  1 
can't  help  wondering  at  my  amazing  politeness  to 
her." 

Bessie  was  not  discouraged.  She  had  several 
.  interviews  with  her  mother,  in  which  protestations, 
tears,  smiles,  and  coaxings  played  a  part,  but 
there  was  no  apparent  change  of  heart  on  the  part 
of  the  old  lady,  after  all.  I  don't  know  how  long 
this  disagreeable  state  of  affairs  would  have  con- 


24  MY    MOTHER- IX-LAW. 

tinued  under  ordinary  circumstances,  had  not  an 
unexpected,  thrilling,  and,  as  it  happened,  fortu- 
nate occurrence  hastened  a  crisis  and  brought  an 
end  to  the  siege.  It  was  a  very  singular  thing, 
and  it  seemed  to  have  been  pre-arranged  to  bring 
me  glory,  and,  what  was  better,  the  desired  good- 
will of  the  "  stony-hearted  parent." 

If  there  was  any  one  thing  that  the  worthy  Mrs. 
Pinkerton  detested  more  than  men  and  tobacco, 
that  thing  was  a  burglar.  Add  fear  to  detesta- 
tion, and  you  will  see  that  when  I  defended  the 
old  lady  from  the  attentions  of  a  burglar,  I  had 
taken  a  long  step  into  her  good  graces. 

It  was  a  week  after  the  interview  narrated  above, 
and  in  the  early  summer,  Mrs.  Pinkerton  had  gone 
down  to  a  quiet  sea-side  resort  for  a  short  stay, 
thinking  to  get  away  from  me ;  but  I  was  not  to 
l>e  put  off  so.  I  followed  her,  taking  a  room  at 
Ihe  same  hotel. 

About  one  o'clock  at  night,  the  particular  bur- 
glar to  whom  I  owe  so  much,  effected  an  entrance 
into  the  hotel  through  a  basement  window,  and 
quietly  made  his  way  up  stairs.  Every  one  was 
asleep  except  myself,  and  I  was  planning  all  sorts 


COURTING   THE   MOTHEB.  25 

of  expedients  to  conquer  the  prejudices  of  my 
inother-in-law  that  was  to  be.  Mrs.  Piiikerton's 
room  opened  on  a  long  corridor,  near  the  end  of 
which  my  modest  seven-by-nine  snuggery  was  sit- 
uated. It  was  a  warm  night,  and  the  transoms 
over  the  doors  of  almost  all  the  bed-chambers  had 
been  left  open  to  admit  the  air.  A  gleam  of  light 
from  a  dark-lantern,  coming  through  my  transom, 
was  whftt  led  me  to  hastily  don  a  pair  of  trousers 
and  take  my  revolver  from  my  valise.  Then  I 
opened  my  door  very  cautiously,  without  having 
struck  a  light,  and  could  see  —  nothing !  I  waited 
a  few  moments,  almost  holding  my  breath.  At 
the  end  of  those  few  moments  I  could  make  out 
the  form  of  a  man  swarming  over  the  top  of  the 
door  of  Mrs.  Pinkerton's  room.  His  head  and 
shoulders  were  already  inside  the  room,  and  1 
could  see  his  legs  wriggle  about  as  he  noiselessly 
wormed  his  way  through  the  narrow  transom.  It 
took  me  but  a  brief  second  of  time  to-  glide  for- 
ward on  tiptoe  and  mount  the  same  chair  which 
had  been  used  by  the  intruder  in  climbing  to  the 
transom.  This  done,  I  seized  both  the  wriggling 
legs  simultaneously,  and  gave  a  tremendous  pull. 


26  MY  MOTHEE-IN-LAW. 

My  excitement  must  have  imbued  me  with 
double  my  natural  strength,  and  the  result  of  that 
pull  was  simply  indescribable.  Burglar,  transom- 
glass,  chair  and  all,  went  hi  a  heap  on  the  floor  of 
the  corridor,  producing  the  most  appalling  and 
unearthly  racket  conceivable.  The  whole  house 
was  in  an  uproar  La  a  moment.  People  seemed  to 
spring  up  from  every  square  foot  of  floor  in  the  corri- 
dor as  if  by  magic.  Cries  of  w  Fire ! "  K  Murder  I n 
"Help!"  and  screams  of  frightened  women,  rose 
on  every  hand.  The  costumes  which  I  beheld  on 
that  momeutous  occasion  were  not  only  varied  but 
exceedingly  amusing  and  picturesque  as  well. 
The  assembled  multitude  found  nothing  to  interest 
them,  however.  I  alone  was  to  be  seen,  seated  on 
a  broken  chair,  with  a  rapidly  swelling  black  eye, 
while  broken  glass  and  an  extinguished  lantern  lay 
on  the  floor.  I  told  the  male  guests  what  had  hap- 
pened. The  burglar  had  not  waited  to  ask  for  my 
card,  but  had  contented  himself  with  planting  one 
blow  from  the  shoulder  on  my  left  eye,  before  I 
could  get  upon  my  legs.  And  my  revolver. 
Well,  I  had  not  had  the  ghost  of  a  chance  to  use 
it.  It  was  in  my  pocket.  Fifteen  minutes  after 


COURTING   THE   MOTHER.  27 

the  fracas,  Mrs.  Pinkerton  came  to  my  room,  com- 
pletely dressed,  and  insisted  upon  coming  in  to  hear 
all  about  it  and  to  overwhelm  me  with  thanks  and 
admiration.  I  was  as  modest  as  heroes  proverbi- 
ally are,  and  then  and  there  told  her  never  to  refer 
to  the  subject  again  unless  she  addressed  me  as 
Bessie's  betrothed. 

We  went  riding  together,  Bessie,  Mrs.  Pinker- 
ton,  and  I,  the  day  after  this  episode ;  and  with- 
out any  previous  indication  of  an  approaching 
thaw,  that  singular  old  lady  began  to  talk  freely 
about  what  should  be  worn  at  "the  wedding," 
referring  to  it  as  though  she  had  been  the  princi- 
pal agent  in  bringing  it  about. 


28  MT  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


CHAPTER  III. 

OUR   MARRIAGE. 

O  O  it  was  that  I  brought  my  darling's  mother 
around  to  consent,  if  not  with  a  very  good 
grace,  still  with  apparent  cheerfulness,  and  she  at 
once  took  the  direction  of  the  nuptial  prepara- 
tions. I  made  a  show  of  consulting  her  about 
many  things,  but  she  invariably  gave  me  to  under- 
stand that  her  experience  and  superior  knowledge 
in  such  matters  were  not  to  be  gainsaid.  I  was  will- 
ing to  leave  to  her  all  the  fuss  and  frippery  of  pre- 
paring clothes  for  her  daughter.  It  always  seemed 
to  me  that  she  had  clothes  enough,  and  clothes 
that  were  good  enough  for  married  life.  I  could  n't 
understand  why  a  young  woman,  on  becoming  a 
wife,  should  need  a  lot  of  new  and  elaborate  dresses, 
such  as  she  had  never  worn  and  never  cared  to 
wear,  and  an  endless  variety  of  uuder-garmeuts 
of  mysterious  and  incomprehensible  make,  with 


OUR  MARRIAGE.  29 

frills  and  fringes  and  laces  and  edgings,  as  if,  up 
to  that  time,  she  ha'd  never  had  anything  next  to 
her  precious  person,  except  what  was  visible  to  the 
exterior  world.  And  even  assuming  that  she 
donned  these  things  for  the  first  time  as  parts  of 
a  manifold  and  complicated  wedding  garment,  why 
should  so  much  fine  needle-work  and  delicate 
trimming  be  prepared  to  be  stowed  away  out  of 
sight  of  prying  mortals,  for  whose  vision  women 
are  presumed  to  dress  themselves  ?  Are  they  got 
up  to  show  to  friends  and  excite  envy,  and  to  fill 
the  minds  of  other  young  people  with  a  sense  of 
the  difficulties  of  getting  married  ? 

One  day,  when  I  happened  in,  —  by  acci- 
dent, of  course,  —  and  the  mother  happened 
to  be  out  on  one  of  her  many  pilgrimages 
to  town,  Bessie  took  me  up  to  her  room  in 
a  half-frightened  way,  as  if  doing  something 
that  she  was  afraid  was  terribly  improper,  and 
showed  me  a  bewildering  profusion  of  these 
things,  neatly  tucked  away  in  bureau  drawers. 
I  laughed  outright,  and  asked  her  who  was  to  see 
all  that  finery.  She  was  vexed  and  bit  her  lip, 


30  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

and  I  was  sorry  and  voted  myself  a  brute.  '  From 
that  moment  I  determined  not  to  say  a  word 
about  the  clothes,  except  to  express  unstinted 
admiration. 

There  was  not  only  clothing,  but  blankets  and 
quilts  and  bed  linen,  though  we  were  to  live  in 
her  old  home,  which  was  already  well  supplied. 
One  would  suppose  that  a  large  and  sudden 
increase  of  family  was  expected  at  once.  These 
things  annoyed  me  as  senseless,  and  as  absorbing 
so  much  of  my  Bessie's  attention  that  we  did  n't 
have  half  the  blissful  times  together  that  we  had 
before  our  engagement  was  an  acknowledged 
thing.  But  I  knew  that  it  was  the  mother's 
doings.  Bessie  did  not  really  have  any  foolish 
care  for  dress,  though  always  beautifully  arrayed 
without  any  apparent  effort ;  but  she  supposed  it 
was  the  proper  thing,  and  submitted  to  her 
mother. 

But  there  was  one  thing  I  set  my  heart  on.  I 
wanted  a  quiet  wedding,  without  display  or  pre- 
tence. It  did  seem  to  me  that  this  was  a  private 
occasion  in  which  the  wishes  of  the  persons  chiefly 
concerned  should  be  consulted.  It  was  their  busi- 


OtJR  MARRIAGE.  31 


ness  and  should  be  conducted  in  their  own  way. 
Bessie  sympathized  with  me,  and  wanted  of  all 
things  to  go  to  church  quietly  and  privately,  and 
then,  after  a  leave-taking  with  a  few  intimate 
friends  at  home,  start  right  off  on  our  proposed  trip 
to  the  "White  Mountains .  But  no  ;  we  were  inex- 
perienced, and  the  widow  knew  what  the  occasion 
demanded  much  better  than  we  did.  She  was  a 
little  grand  in  her  ideas,  and  felt  the  importance  of 
keeping  on  good  terms  with  society.  I  was  dis- 
posed to  apply  profane  epithets  to  society,  and  to 
insist  that  this  marriage  was  mine  and  Bessie's,  and 
nobody's  else.  But  what  was  the  use  ?  There  would 
be  unpleasant  feelings,  and  the  mamma  must  be  con- 
ciliated, and  so  I  yielded  after  a  warm  but  alto- 
gether affectionate  little  controversy  with  Bessie. 

Every  time  I  came  to  the  house  now,  I  was 
informed  of  some  new  feature  which  Mrs.  P.  had 
decided  upon  as  indispensable  to  the  gorgeousness 
of  the  occasion. 

M  Have  you  ordered  your  dress  suit  yet  ?  "  she 
asked  one  evening. 

"Dress  suit?  Oh  yes.  I  had  almost  forgotten 
that." 


32  MY  MO±HEK-£NXLAW. 

"And,  by  the  way,  those  cards?  I  think  you 
hagl  better  send  them  out :  you  write  such  a  good, 
legible  hand." 

"  Y-e-s,  oh  yes.     With  pleasure." 

"When  you  go  to  the  city  to-morrow,  I  wish 
you  would  drop  in  at  Draper's  and  get  me  a  few 
little  things.  I  have  made  out  a  list,  so  it  won't 
be  any  trouble  to  you." 

"  No  trouble  at  all.     Glad  to  do  it." 

"That  white  ribbon  should  be  medium  width. 
And  before  I  forget  it,  have  you  written  yet  to 
your  friend  De  Forest  about  his  standing  up  ?  " 

"  No,  I  forgot  it.  I  '11  drop  him  a  line  to-morrow. 
But  "what  do  you  want  that  ribbon  to  be  so  long  for  ? " 

"TJiat  is  to  be  held  across  the  aisle  by  the 
usher*,  you  know,  to  keep  off  the  ignobile  vulgus. 
You  and  Bessie  will  march  up  here,  you  see, 
preceded  by  the  four  ushers  and  the  bridesmaids 
and  groomsmen,  who  will  then  range  themselves 
off  this  way.  The  members  of  the  families  and 
the  friends  will  be  separated  from  the  other  peo- 
ple thus.  It's  very  pretty.  Belle  Graham  was 
married  that  way  at  St.  Thomas's,  and  everybody 
said  it  was  splendid." 


OtJB  MARRIAGE.  33 

This  is  the  kind  of  talk  I  had  to  listen  to  for 
weeks,  and  is  it  any  wonder  that  I  grew  thin  and 
had  sleepless  nights? 

I  was  now  a  mere  puppet  in  the  hands  of  Mrs. 
Pinkerton,  and  came  and  went  as  she  pulled  the 
wires.  She  had  arranged  that  the  affair  was  to 
take  place  in  "  her  church  "  —  and  a  very  fashion- 
able temple  of  worship  it  was.  Her  rector  was  to 
officiate,  assisted  by  the  vealy  young  man  who  had 
just  graduated  from  the  theological  seminary. 
There  were  to  be  four  bridesmaids  and  an  equal 
number  of  groomsmen  and  of  ushers.  I  should  have 
liked  to  have  something  to  say  about  who  should 
"stand  up  "  with  us,  as  Mrs.  Piukerton  expressed 
it ;  but  when  I  timidly  suggested  that  some  of  my 
friends  would  be  available  for  the  purpose,  I  was 
taken  aback  to  learn  that  the  entire  list  had  been 
made  up  and  decided  upon  without  my  knowledge, 
and  that  only  one  of  the  groomsmen  chosen  was  a 
friend  of  mine, — De  Forest, — the  others  being 
young  men  whom  the  worthy  Mrs.  Pinkerton  had 
selected  from  her  list  of  society  people.  One  of 
the  young  men  was  a  downright  fool,  if  I  must  call 
things  by  their  right  names,  but  he  dressed  to  per- 


34  MY  MOTHEE-IN-LAW. 

fection ;  the  remaining  two  I  scarcely  knew  by 
sight,  but  I  did  know  that  one  of  them  had  seen 
the  time  when  he  aspired  to  occupy  the  place  I 
was  now  filling  in  respect  to  the  Piukertou  house- 
hold :  need  I  say  more  concerning  my  sentiments 
regarding  him  ? 

The  ushers, — well,  of  course,  they  were  the 
four  young  gentlemen  who  knew  everybody  who 
was  anybody,  and  I  could  not  object  to  them, 
considering  that  they  charged  nothing  for  their 
onerous  services. 

The  bridesmaids  were  all  old  school  frier: ds  of 
Bessie's,  and  two  of  them  were  considered  pretty, 
and  the  other  two  were  stylish. 

One  of  my  keenest  regrets  was  that  Bessie's 
brother  George  was  away  off  in  Paris,  and  could 
not  grace  the  occasion  with  his  superb  presence ; 
for  he  was  a  superb  fellow  in  all  respects,  and  I 
felt  a  true  brotherly  affection  for  him.  Had  he 
not  introduced  me  to  Bessie  ?  Had  he  not  always 
wanted  me  to  become  his  brother-in-law? 

The  great  day  came  at  last.  The  town  was  full 
of  the  invited  people,  and  the  weather,  so  anx- 
iously looked  to  on  such  occasions,  was  all  that 


OUB   MARRIAGE.  3d 

could  be  desired.  My  remembrance  of  the  sol- 
emn events  of  that  day  is  now  rather  misty.  I 
remember  the  tussle  De  Forest  and  I  had  with  my 
collar  and  cravat  in  the  morning,  and  how  he 
stuck  pins  into  my  neck,  and  wrestled  mightily 
with  his  own  elaborate  toilet.  I  remember,  and 
this  very  distinctly,  how  awfully  tight  were  my 
new  patent-leather  boots,  which  caused  me  for  the 
time  being  the  most  excruciating  anguish.  Beyond 
these,  and  similar  minor  things  which  have  a  way 
of  sticking  in  the  memory,  all  the  rest  is  very 
much  like  a  vivid  dream.  The  close  carriage 
whirling  through  the  streets ;  a  great  crush  of 
people,  with  here  and  there  a  familiar,  smiling 
face ;  Bessie  in  her  wedding-dress  of  white  silk, 
with  her  long  veil  and  twining  garlands  of  orange 
blossoms ;  the  bridesmaids,  radiant  in  tarletan, 
with  pretty  blue  bows  and  sashes  ;  the  long  aisle, 
up  which  we  marched  with  slow  and  reverent 
tread  ;  the  pealing  measures  of  the  Wedding  Cho- 
rus ;  the  dignified  and  fatherly  clergyman ;  the 
vealy  young  assistant ;  the  unction  of  the  slowly 
intoned  words  of  the  marriage-service ;  the  fum- 
bling for  the  ring, —  and  through  it  all  there  rises, 


MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


as  out  of  a  mist,  the  face  of  my  mother-in-law,  the 
presiding  genius  of  it  all,  the  unknown  quantity  in 
the  equation  of  my  married  life,  now  begun  amid 
the  felicitations,  more  or  less  sincere,  of  a  host  of 
kissing,  hand-shaking,  smiling,  chattering,  good- 
natured  aunts,  uncles,  cousins,  and  relatives  of  all 
degrees. 


MOUNTAINS  AND  MORE  MOTHER-IN-LAW.     3? 


CHAPTER  IV. 

MOUNTAINS   AND    MORE   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

0  O  the  bells  were  rung,  metaphorically  speak 

ing,  and  we  were  wed.  I  had  a  long  leava 
of  absence  from  the  banking-house  in  which  I 
held  a  responsible  and  confidential  position,  and 
we  started  for  the  mountains,  leaving  mamma 
Pinkerton  to  put  things  to  rights  and  follow  us  in 
a  fortnight,  when  we  had  decided  to  settle  down 
for  a  month's  quiet  stay  in  a  picturesque  town  of 
the  mountain  region.  Oh,  the  unrestrained  joy  of 
that  fortnight !  Everybody  at  the  hotels  seemed 
to  know  by  instinct  that  we  were  a  newly-married 
pair,  and  knowing  glances  passed  between  them. 
But  what  did  we  care?  With  pride  and  a  con- 
scious embarrassment  that  made  my  hand  tremble, 

1  wrote  on  the  registers  in  a  bold  hand  "  Charles 
Travers  and  wife."     I  asked  for  the  best  room 
with    a   pleasant    out-look.     The  smiling    clerk, 


38  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

trained  to  dissimulation,  would  appear  as  uncon- 
scious as  the  blank  safe  behind  him,  but  he  knew 
all  the  while,  the  sly  rascal,  that  we  were  on  a 
wedding  trip,  and  he  paid  special  attention  to  our 
comfort.  We  saw  the  glories  and  wonders  of  the 
mountains,  and  shared  their  inspiration  as  with  a 
single  heart.  We  rose  early  to  drink  the  clear  air 
and  greet  the  rising  sun  together.  We  strolled 
out  in  the  evening  to  romantic  spots,  and  there, 
with  arms  around  each  other,  as  we  walked  or 
etood  gazing  on  the  scene  and  listening  to  the 
rustling  breeze,  we  were  happy.  For  two  weeks 
our  lives  blended  with  each  other  and  with  nature, 
and  it  was  with  a  sigh  that  we  mounted  the  lum- 
bering stage  to  take  up  our  sojourn  in  the  retired 
town  on  the  hills.  We  came  to  the  little  hotel 
just  at  night,  and  were  stared  at  and  commented 
upon  by  those  who  had  been  there  three  days  and 
assumed  the  air  of  having  had  possession  for  years. 
We  were  tired,  and  kept  aloof  that  evening,  and 
the  next  day  mother-in-law  arrived. 

As  she  dismounted  from  the  coach,  she  gave  the 
driver  a  severe  warning  to  be  careful  of  her  trunk, 
an  iron-bound  treasure  that  would  have  defied  the 


MOUNTAINS   AND   MORE   MOTHER-IN-LAW.        39 

efforts  of  the  most  determined  baggage-smasher. 
Bessie  had  flown  to  meet  her,  and  their  greeting  was 
affectionate ;  but  to  me  the  old  lady  presented  a 
hand  encased  in  a  mit,  or  sort  of  glove  with  ampu- 
tated fingers,  and  gave  me  a  stately,  "  I  hope  you 
are  well,  sir,"  that  rather  made  me  feel  sick.  She 
looked  full  at  me  in  her  steady  and  commanding 
way,  as  much  as  to  say,  "  Well,  you  have  com- 
mitted no  atrocious  crime  yet,  I  suppose ;  but  I 
am  rather  surprised  at  it.** 

If  there  is  anything  I  pride  myself  on,  it  is  self- 
possession  and  a  willingness  to  face  anybody  and 
give  as  good  as  I  get,  but  that  magnificently  im- 
perious way  of  looking  with  those  large  eyes 
always  disconcerted  me.  I  could  not  brace  my- 
self enough  to  meet  them  with  any  show  of  impu- 
dence, though  the  old  lady  had  not  ceased  to 
regard  that  as  the  chief  trait  of  my  character.  As 
Mrs.  Pinkerton  trod  with  stately  step  the  rude 
piazza  of  that  summer  hotel,  she  put  her  eye-glasses 
on  and  surveyed  its  occupants  with  a  look  that 
made  them  shrink  into  themselves  and  feel  ashamed 
to  be  sitting  about  in  that  idle  way.  I  believe  the 
old  lady's  eyesight  was  good  enough,  and  that  she 


40  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

used  her  glasses,  with  their  gold  bows  and  the 
slender  chain  with  which  they  were  suspended 
about  her  neck,  for  effect.  I  noticed  that  if  they 
were  not  on  she  always  put  them  on  to  look  at 
anything,  and  if  they  happened  to  be  on  she  took 
them  off  for  the  same  purpose. 

"  Well,"  she  said,  going  into  the  little  parlor,  and 
looking  from  the  windows,  "  this  really  seems  to  be 
a  fine  situation.  The  view  of  the  mountains  is  quite 
grand." 

"Very  kind  of  you  to   approve  of  the   moun 
tains,  but  you  could  give  them  points  on  grandeur," 
I  thought;  but  I  merely  remarked,  "We  find  it 
quite  pleasant  here." 

She  turned  and  glanced  at  me  without  reply, 
as  much  as  to  say,  "Who  addressed  you,  sir? 
You  would  do  well  to  speak  when  you  are  spoken 
to."  I  was  abashed,  but  was  determined  to  do 
the  agreeable  so  far  as  I  could,  in  spite  of  the 
rebuke  of  those  eyes. 

"  The  house  does  n't  seem  to  me  to  be  very  attrac- 
tive," she  continued,  glancing  around  with  a  gaze 
that  took  in  everything  through  all  the  partition 
walls,  and  assuming  a  tone  that  meant,  "  I  am 


MOUNTAI&S   AND  MORE   MOT&ER-IN-LAW.        4l 

speaking  to  you,  Bessie,  and  no  one  else."    "  What 
sort  of  people  are  there  here  ?  " 

"  Oh,  some  very  pleasant  people,  I  should 
judge,"  said  Bessie,  "but  we  have  been  here  only 
one  day,  you  know,  and  have  made  no  acquaint- 
ances to  speak  of.  Charlie's  friend,  Fred  Mar- 
ston,  from  the  city,  is  here  with  his  wife ;  and  I 
met  a  young  lady  to  whom  I  took  quite  a  fancy 
this  morning,  a  Miss  VanDuzen.  She  is  quite 
wealthy,  and  an  orphan,  and  is  here  with  her 
uncle,  a  fine-looking  gentleman,  who  is  president 
of  a  bank,  or  an  insurance  company,  or  some 
thing  of  the  sort.  You  saw  him,  I  think,  on  the 
piazza,  —  the  large  man,  with  gray  side- whiskers, 
white  vest,  and  heavy  gold  chain." 

"Yes,  I  noticed  him.  A  pompous-looking  old 
gentleman,  isn't  he?" 

"  Oh,  he  is  dignified  in  his  manner,  but  not  at 
all  pompous,"  was  the  reply. 

"Well,  I  call  him  pompous,  if  looks  mean  any- 
thing," said  the  mother,  with  the  air  of  one  to 
whom  looks  were  quite  sufficient.  "I  think  I 
will  go  to  my  room,"  she  added,  and  turned  a 
glance  on  me,  as  much  as  to  say,  "  You  need  n't 


42  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

come,  sir."  I  had  no  intention  of  going,  and 
wandered  out  on  the  piazza,  feeling  as  though 
Bessie  had  almost  been  taken  away  from  me 
again. 

When  she  rejoined  me,  leaving  her  mother 
above  stairs,  I  asked,  "  What  does  she  think  of 
her  room  ?  " 

"  Well,  it  does  n't  quite  suit  her.  She  thinks 
the  furniture  scanty  and  shabby,  water  scarce, 
towels  rather  coarse,  and  she  can't  endure  the 
sight  of  a  kerosene  lamp ;  but  she  will  make  her- 
self quite  comfortable,  I  dare  say." 

"And  everybody  else  uncomfortable,"  I  felt 
like  adding,  but  restrained  myself. 

She  came  down  to  tea,  and  being  offered  a  seat 
on  the  other  side  of  me  from  Bessie,  firmly  de- 
clined it,  and  took  the  one  on  the  other  side  of  her 
daughter  from  me.  As  she  unfolded  her  napkin 
she  took  in  the  whole  table  with  a  searching  glance, 
and  had  formed  a  quick  estimate  of  everybody 
sitting  around  it.  Miss  Clara  Van  Duzen  and  Mr. 
Desmond,  her  uncle,  sat  opposite,  and  an  introduc- 
tion across  the  table  took  place.  The  young  lady 
was  vivacious  and  talkative,  and  tried  to  make  her 


MOUNTAINS  AND  MORE  MOTHER-IN-LAW.     43 

self  agreeable,  but  my  mother-iu-law  did  not  like 
what  she  afterwards  called  her  "  chatter,"  and  set 
her  down  as  a  frivolous  young  person.  "Miss 
Van,"  as  everybody  called  her,  with  her  own  ap- 
proval,—  for,  as  she  said,  she  detested  the  Duzen 
which  her  Dutch  ancestors  had  bequeathed  her  with 
their  other  property,  —  was  of  New  York  Knicker- 
bocker origin,  now  living  with  her  uncle  in  Boston, 
and  was  by  no  means  frivolous,  though  uncom- 
monly lively.  She  had  fine,  brown  eyes,  beautiful 
hair,  and  a  complexion  that  defied  sun  and  wind. 
It  had  the  rosy  glow  of  health,  and  indicated  a 
good  digestion  and  high  spirits.  Mr.  Desmond 
seemed  to  be  mostly  white  vest,  immaculate  shirt- 
front,  and  gold  chain,  the  last-named  article  being 
very  heavy  and  meandering  through  the  button- 
holes of  his  vest  and  up  around  his  invisible  neck. 
He  said  little,  and  was  evidently  not  much  given 
to  light  conversation.  He  was  very  gracious  in  his 
attentions  to  the  ladies,  however,  and  seemed  to 
pay  special  deference  to  Mrs.  Piukerton.  I  after- 
wards learned  that  he  was  a  widower  of  long  stand- 
ing, without  chick  or  child,  and  the  guardian  of  his 
niece,  whom  he  regarded  with  great  admiration. 


44  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

Down  at  the  other  end  of  the  table  was  Mars- 
ton,  evidently  giving  vent  to  his  impatience 
about  something,  and  his  wife,  with  fierce  eyes, 
telling  him,  in  manner  if  not  in  words,  not  to 
make  a  fool  of  himself.  The  rest  of  the  com- 
pany was  made  up  either  of  transient  visitors  or 
of  persons  with  whom  this  story  has  nothing  in 
particular  to  do. 

As  we  emerged  on  the  piazza  after  tea,  Fred, 
who  had  impolitely  gone  out  in  advance,  called 
out,  "  Charlie,  old  boy,  come  over  here  and  have 
a  smoke ! " 

I  must  confess  that  these  long  sittings  on  the 
piazzas  of  summer  hotels  had  lured  me  back  to 
my  old  habits,  which  I  had  forsworn  in  my  ef- 
forts to  conciliate  Bessie's  mother.  Bessie  had 
encouraged  me  in  it,  for  to  tell  the  truth  she 
rather  liked  the  fragrance  of  a  good  cigar,  and 
dearly  loved  to  see  me  enjoying  it.  It  was  my 
nature  to  defy  the  whole  world  and  be  master  of 
my  own  habits,  but  I  had  felt  a  mean  inclination, 
after  mother-in-law  joined  the  party,  to  slink  away 
and  smoke  on  the  sly.  There  was  nothing  for  it 
now,  however,  but  to  put  on  a  bold  face,  or  play 


MOUNTAINS   AND   MORE   MOTHER-IN-LAW.       45 

the  hypocrite  and  pretend  I  did  n't  smoke.  The 
latter  I  would  not  do,  and  if  I  had  attempted  it, 
it  would  n't  go  down  with  Fred,  and  I  should  have 
been  in  a  worse  predicament  than  ever.  I  went 
boldly  across  the  piazza  and  took  the  proffered 
cigar.  Glancing  out  at  the  corner  of  my  eye  as 
I  was  lighting  it,  I  saw  my  mother-in-law  regard- 
ing me  through  her  glasses  with  increased  disfa- 
vor. She  did  not,  however,  seem  to  be  surprised, 
and  doubtless  believed  me  capable  of  any  perfidy. 
"I  say,  Charlie,  old  boy,  let's  have  a  game  of 
billiards,"  said  Fred,  after  a  few  puffs.  "  I  '11  give 
you  twenty  points  and  beat  you  out  of  your  boots." 
Now  I  was  very  fond  of  billiards,  and  usually 
didn't  care  who  knew  it,  but  Mrs.  Pmkerton  did 
not  approve  of  the  game,  and  had  no  knowledge 
that  I  indulged  in  it.  But  Fred  would  speak  in 
that  absurd  shouting  way  of  his,  and  all  the  ladies 
heard  him.  Again  I  mustered  up  resolution  and 
went  into  the  billiard  room,  but  I  played  very 
indifferently,  and  was  thinking  all  the  time  of  my 
mother-in-law  and  her  opinion  of  me.  I  really 
wanted  to  get  into  her  good  graces,  but  it  required 
the  sacrifice  of  all  my  own  inclinations,  and  I 


46  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

despised  a  man  who  deliberately  played  the  hypo- 
crite to  win  anybody's  favor. 

After  two  or  three  listless  games  I  said  to  Fred, 
"  I  guess  I  will  join  the  ladies."  I  was  feeling 
some  qualms  of  conscience  for  staying  away  from 
Bessie  a  whole  hour  at  once. 

w  Oh,  hang  the  ladies  I "  was  Fred's  graceless 
response  ; "  they  can  take  care  of  themselves.  My 
wife  gets  along  well  enough  without  me,  I  know, 
and  yours  will  soon  learn  to  be  quite  comfortable 
without  your  guardian  presence ;  besides  she 's  got 
her  mother  now.  By  the  way,  what  a  mighty 
grand  old  dowager  Mrs.  Pink  is  I " 

"Pinkerton  is  her  name,"  I  said,  a  little  haugh- 
tily, as  if  resenting  the  liberty  he  took  with  my 
mother-in-law's  cognomen. 

"Oh,  yes,  I  know,  but  the  name  is  too  long ;  and 
besides,  she  reminds  one  of  a  full-blown  pink,  a 
little  on  the  fade,  perhaps,  but  still  with  a  good 
deal  of  bloom  about  her.  Is  she  going  to  live 
with  you  ?  Precious  fine  time  you  will  have  !  "  he 
added,  having  received  his  answer  by  a  nod. 
"  She  '11  boss  the  shebang,  you  bet  1 " 

w  Oh,  I  guess  not,"  I  answered,  not  liking  his 


MOUNTAINS   AND  MORE   MOTHER-IN-LAW.       47 

slangy  way  of  talking  about  my  affairs,  and  re- 
solving in  my  own  mind  that  I  would  be  master  in 
my  own  house. 

"Well,  then  there'll  be  a  fine  old  tussle  for 
supremacy,  and  don't  you  forget  it !  " 

With  this  remark  Fred  wandered  off  down  the 
dusty  road,  humming  Madame  Angot,  and  I  dre\7 
up  a  chair  by  Bessie's  side.  She  had  evidently 
been  wishing  I  would  come.  Mr.  Desmond  was 
sitting  a  little  apart  from  the  rest,  twisting  hia 
fingers  in  his  watch-chain  and  looking  intently  at 
the  mountain-top  opposite,  as  if  expecting  some- 
body to  come  over  with  a  dispatch  for  him.  Mrs. 
Pinkerton  sat  by  her  daughter's  side  in  calm 
grandeur,  her  gray  puffs  —  that  fine  silver-gray 
that  comes  prematurely  on  aristocratic  brows  — 
seeming  like  appendages  of  a  queenly  diadem. 
Miss  Van  had  been  diverting  the  company  with  a 
lively  account  of  her  day's  adventures.  She  was 
always  having  adventures,  and  had  a  faculty  of 
relating  them  that  was  little  short  of  genius. 

*'  Well,  my  dear,  are  you  having  a  good  time  ?  " 
I  murmured  in  Bessie's  ear. 

"  Oh,  yes  ;  but  I  was  feeling  a  little  lonesome 
without  you." 


48  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

The  conversation  degenerated  into  common- 
place about  the  scenery  and  points  of  interest  in 
the  neighborhood,  and  after  a  while  the  company 
dispersed  with  polite  good-evenings. 

When  we  reached  our  room,  I  remarked  to 
Bessie,  who  seemed  more  quiet  than  usual,  "  I 
hope  your  mother  will  like  it  here." 

"Oh,  yes,  I  guess  she  will  like  it  when  she  has 
been  here  a  little  while,"  was  the  answer.  "You 
know  she  has  not  been  away  from  home  much,  of 
late  years,  except  to  the  seaside  with  the  Watsons 
and  other  of  her  old  friends,  and  she  does  not 
adapt  herself  readily  to  strange  company." 

I  said  nothing  more,  but  was  absorbed  in 
thought  about  my  mother-in-law.  It  is  evident 
by  this  time  that  she  was  no  ordinary  woman,  no 
coarse  or  waspish  mother-in-law,  but  a  womau  of 
good  breeding  and  the  highest  character.  She 
was  intelligent  and  well-informed,  a  consistent 
member  of  the  Episcopal  Church,  with  the  highest 
views  of  propriety  and  a  reverential  regard  for 
the  rules  of  conduct  laid  down  by  good  society. 
This  made  her  all  the  harder  to  deal  with.  If  she 
were  a  common  or  vulgar  sort  of  mother-in-law, 


MOUNTAINS   AND   MORE   MOTHER-IN-LAW.        49 

1  could  assert  iny  prerogatives  without  compunc- 
tion ;  and  I  was  forced  to  admit  that  she  was  a 
very  worthy  woman,  and  not  given  to  petty 
meddling,  but  I  felt  that  her  presence  was  an 
awful  restraint.  Without  her  we  could  have  such 
good  times,  going  and  coming  as  we  pleased,  and 
acting  with  entire  freedom;  but  she  must  be 
counted  in,  and  was  a  factor  that  materially 
affected  the  result.  She  could  not  be  ignored ; 
her  opinions  could  not  be  disregarded.  That 
would  be  rude,  and  besides,  their  influence  would 
make  itself  felt.  Strange,  the  irresistible  effect  of 
a  presence  upon  one  !  She  might  not  openly  in- 
terfere or  directly  oppose,  but  there  she  was,  and 
she  didn't  approve  of  me  or  like  my  friends, 
could  not  fall  in  with  my  ways  or  my  wishes,  and 
makf>  one  of  any  company  in  which  I  should  feel 
at  ease,  and  I  knew  that  her  presence  would  be 
depressing,  and  spoil  our  summer's  pleasure  ;  and 
after  that  was  over  and  we  were  at  home,  what  ? 
Well,  sufficient  unto  the  day  is  the  evil  Biereof. 
We  slept  the  sound  sleep  that  mountain  and 
country  quiet  brings,  and  took  the  chances  of  the 
future. 

4 


50  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


CHAPTER   V. 

THE   RISE   AND   FALL. 

T"\ TIRING  the  next  week  of  our  stay  at  the 
\) 

Fair  view  hotel,  it  grew  rather  dull.  There 
was  little  to  do  but  drive  on  the  long  country 
roads,  or  wander  over  the  hills  and  in  the  fields 
and  woods.  I  could  have  found  plenty  of  pleas- 
ure in  that  with  Bessie  and  a  party  of  congeniav 
friends,  but  it  did  n't  seem  to  be  right  always  to 
leave  my  worthy  mother-in-law  behind,  with  her 
crochet  work  or  the  last  new  novel  from  the  city, 
on  the  sunny  piazza  or  in  her  dim  little  chamber. 
She  was  not  averse  to  drives,  in  fact  enjoyed  them 
very  much,  but  she  seemed  to  divine  that  I  did 
not  really  want  her  company,  though  I  protested, 
as  became  a  dutiful  son-in-law,  that  I  should  be 
yery  glad  to  take  her  at  any  time.  She  did  go 
with  us  once  or  twice,  but  the  laughter  and  romp 
ing  behavior  which  gave  our  rides  their  chief  zest 


THE    RISE   AXD   FALL.  51 

were  extinguished,  and  we  jogged  along  in  the 
most  proper  manner-,  professing  admiration  for  the 
outlines  of  the  hills  and  the  far-away  stretches  of 
scenery  between  the  more  distant  mountains.  Wo 
returned  as  quiet  and  demure  as  if  we  had  been  to 
a  funeral.  Mrs.  Pinkerton  saw  the  effect,  and  wilh 
her  fine  feeling  of  independence,  she  politely  but 
firmly  declined  to  go  afterwards.  As  for  walking 
on  anything  but  level  sidewalks  or  gravel-paths, 
she  could  not  think  of  such  a  thing.  The  idea  of 
her  climbing  a  hill  or  getting  herself  over  a  fence 
seemed  ridiculous  to  anybody  that*kuew  her. 

So  it  was  that  we  were  continually  forced  to 
leave  her  behind,  or  deny  ourselves  the  chief  rec- 
reation of  the  country.  I  was  sincerely  disin- 
clined to  slight  her  in  any  way,  and  desirous  of 
contributing  to  her  pleasure,  but  what  could  I  do  ? 
A  fellow  can't  get  an  iceberg  to  enjoy  tropical  sun- 
shine. Our  dislike  to  leave  the  old  lady  alone, 
although  she  insisted  that  she  did  n't  mind  it  at 
all,  led  us  to  pass  a  large  portion  of  each  day, 
sometimes  all  day,  about  the  house.  It  was 
"  deuced  stupid,"  to  use  Marston's  elegant  phrase, 
but  there  was  little  to  do  for  it.  To  be  sure, 


52  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

there  was  Desmond,  "  old  Dives,"  Fred  called  him. 
He  seldom  went  out  of  sight  of  the  house,  but  he 
had  a  perfect  mail-bag  of  newspapers  and  letters 
every  morning,  and  spent  the  forenoon  indoors, 
holding  sweet  communion  with  them  and  answer- 
ing his  correspondents.  In  the  afternoon  he  sat 
on  the  piazza  by  the  hour,  contemplating  the 
mountain-top  that  had  such  a  fascination  for  him. 
He  had  a  prodigious  amount  of  information  on 
all  manner  of  subjects,  and  a  quick  and  accurate 
judgment ;  but  he  was  generally  very  reticent, 
as  he  tipped  bllck  in  his  chair  and  twisted  his 
fingers  in  and  out  of  that  fine  gold  chain.  My 
mother-in-law,  from  her  shady  nook  of  the  piazza, 
would  glance  at  him  occasionally  from  her  work 
or  her  book,  as  much  as  to  say,  "It  is  strange 
people  can't  make  some  effort  to  be  agreeable, 
instead  of  being  so  stiff  and  dignified  all  the 
afternoon";  but  he  seemed  unconscious  of  her 
looks  and  her  mental  comments.  His  thoughts 
were  probably  in  the  marts  of  trade. 

Fred  was  continually  going  off  to  distant  towns, 
or  down  to  the  great  hotels  in  the  mountains,  for 
livelier  diversion.  His  wife  often  insisted  on 


THE   RISE   AND  TALL.  53 

going  with  him,  to  his  evident  disgust,  not 
because  she  cared  to  be  in  his  company,  but 
because  she  wanted  to  go  to  the  same  places  and 
could  not  well  go  alone.  Now,  Fred  was  n't  a 
bad  fellow  at  heart.  I  had  known  him  for  years, 
and  used  to  like  him  exceedingly.  But  he  was 
left  without  a  father  at  an  early  age,  with  a  consid- 
erable fortune,  and  his  mother  was  indulgent  and 
not  overwise.  lie  got  rather  fast  as  he  grew  up, 
and  then  he  contracted  a  thoughtless  marriage 
with  Lizzie  Carleton,  a  handsome  and  stylish  young 
lady,  fond  of  dress  and  gay  society,  and  with- 
out a  notion  of  domestic  responsibility  or  duty. 
Like  most  women  who  are  not  positively  bad, 
she  had  in  her  heart  a  desire  to  be  right,  but  she 
did  n't  know  how.  She  was  all  impulse,  and  gave 
way  to  whims  and  feelings,  as  if  helpless  in  any 
effort  to  manage  her  own  waywardness.  As  a 
natural  consequence  there  were  constant  jars 
between  the  pair.  Fred  took  to  his  clubs  and 
mingled  with  men  of  the  race-course  and  the  bil- 
liard halls,  and  Lizzie  beguiled  herself  as  best  she 
could  with  her  fashionable  friends. 

And  where  was  Miss  Van  Duzen  these  long  and 


MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


tedious  days?  They  were  never  tedious  to  her, 
for  she  was  always  on  the  go.  She  would  go  off 
alone  on  interminable  strolls,  and  bring  back  loads 
of  flowers  and  strange  plants,  and  she  could  tell 
all  about  them  too.  Her  knowledge  of  botany 
was  wonderful,  and  she  could  make  very  clever 
sketches  ;  she  would  sit  by  the  hour  on  some  lonely 
rock,  putting  picturesque  scenery  on  paper,  just  for 
the  love  of  it  ;  for  when  the  pictures  were  done  she 
would  give  them  away  or  throw  them  away  with- 
out the  least  compunction.  She  had  a  fine  sense 
of  the  ludicrous  and  was  all  the  time  seeing  funny 
things,  which  she  described  in  a  manner  quite  in- 
imitable. She  had  grown  up  in  New  York,  before 
her  father's  death,  in  the  most  select  of  Knicker- 
bocker circles,  but  there  was  not  a  trace  of  aris- 
tocracy in  her  ways.  She  was  sociable  with  the 
ostler  and  the  office-boy,  and  agreeable  to  the 
neighboring  farmers,  talking  with  them  with  a 
spirit  that  quite  delighted  them.  And  yet  there 
was-  nothing  free  and  easy  in  her  ways  that  encour- 
aged undue  familiarity.  It  was  merely  natural 
ease  and  good  nature.  She  inspired  respect  in 
everybody  but  my  mother-in-law,  who  was  puzzled 


THE   RISE   AND   FALL.  55 

« 

with  her  conduct,  so  different  from  her  own  ideas 
of  propriety,  and  yet  so  free  from  real  vulgarity. 
Mrs.  Pinkerton  could  by  no  means  approve  of  her, 
and  yet  she  could  accuse  her  of  no  offence  which 
the  most  rigid  could  seriously  censure.' 

Miss  Van  was  the  life  of  the  company  when 
she  was  about,  telling  of  her  adventures,  getting 
up  impromptu  amusements  in  the  parlor,  and 
planning  excursions.  She  was  the  only  person 
in  the  world,  probably,  who  was  quite  familiar 
with  Mr.  Desmond,  and  she  would  sit  on  his 
knee,  pull  his  whiskers,  and  call  him  an  "awful 
glum  old  fogy,"  whereat  he  would  laugh  and  say 
she  had  gayety  enough  for  them  both.  He  ad- 
mired and  loved  her  for  the  very  qualities  that  he 
lacked. 

All  this  while  I  was  trying  to  win  the  gracious 
favor  of  my  mother-in-law,  but  it  was  up-hill 
work.  She  would  answer  me  with  severe  polite- 
ness, and  volunteer  an  occasional  remark  intended 
to  be  pleasant,  but  the  moment  I  seemed  to  be 
gaining  headway,  a  turn  at  billiards  with  Marston, 
for  whom  she  had  a  great  aversion,  a  thoughtless 
expression  with  a  flavor  of  profanity  in  it,  or  my 


56  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

cigars,  which  I  now  indulged  in  without  restraint, 
brought  back  her  freezing  air  of  disapproval. 

"  Oh,  dear  I "  I  yawned  sometimes,  "  why  can't  I 
go  ahead  and  enjoy  myself  without  minding  that 
very  respectable  and  severe  old  woman  ?  "  But  I 
could  n't  do  it.  I  was  always  feeling  the  influ- 
ence of  those  eyes,  and  even  of  her  thoughts.  I 
couldn't  get  away  from  it.  Sunday  came,  and 
Mrs.  Pinkerton  expressed  the  hope  that  we  were 
to  attend  divine  service  together.  I  hadn't 
thought  of  it  till  that  moment,  and  then  it  struck 
me  as  a  terrible  bore.  There  was  no  church 
within  ten  miles  except  a  little  white,  meek  edi- 
fice hi  the  neighboring  village,  occupied  alter- 
nately by  Methodist  and  Baptist  expounders  of  a 
very  Calvinistic,  and,  to  me,  a  very  unattractive 
sort  of  religion.  It  was  not  altogether  to  my 
mother-in-law's  liking,  but  she  regarded  any 
church  as  far  better  than  none. 

WI  presume  you  will  go,  sir,"  she  said,  address- 
ing me  when  I  made  no  reply  to  the  previous  hint. 
She  always  used  "  sir,"  with  a  peculiar  emphasis, 
when  any  suggestion  was  intended  to  have  the 
force  of  a  command. 


THE   RISE   AND   FALL.  57 

"Well,  really,  I  had  not  thought  about  it,"  I 
said,  rather  vexed,  as  I  secretly  made  up  my  mind, 
reckless  of  my  policy  of  conciliation,  that  I  would 
not  go  at  any  price.  A  tedious,  droning  sermon 
of  an  hour  and  perhaps  an  hour  and  a  half  in  a 
country  church,  full  of  dismal  doctrines,  —  the 
sermon,  not  the  church,  —  I  couldn't  stand,  I 
thought. 

Mrs.  Pinkerton's  eyes  were  upon  me,  waiting 
for  a  more  definite  answer.  w  I  —  well,  no,  I  don't 
think  I  really  feel  like  it  this  morning.  I  thought 
I  would  read  to  Bessie  quietly  in  our  room,  and 
take  a  rest." 

"  Very  well,  sir,"  she  said,  "  Bessie  and  I  will 
walk  down  to  the  village." 

w  The  deuce  you  will  I  "  I  thought ;  w  walk  a  mile 
and  a  half  on  a  dusty  road ;  to  be  bored ! "  I 
knew  it  was  useless  to  protest,  and  I  was  too  wil- 
ful to  take  back  what  I  had  said,  have  the  team 
harnessed,  and  go,  like  a  good  fellow,  to  church. 
"No,  I'll  be  blowed  if  I  do !"  I  muttered. 

So  off  went  the  widow  and  her  daughter  without 
me.  Bessie  tripped  around  to  me  on  the  piazza, 


58  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

looking  like  a  fairy  in  her  white  dress  and  bit  of 
blue  ribbon,  gave  me  a  sweet  kiss,  and  said,  w  I  '11 
be  back  before  dinner.  Have  a  nice  quiet  time, 
now." 

"  Oh,  yes  ;  have  a  nice  quiet  time,  and  you  gone 
off  with  that  old  dragon  I  "  It  was  a  wicked 
thought,  for  she  was  not  a  bit  of  a  dragon,  but 
the  feeling  came  over  me  that  I  was  going  to  feel 
miserable  all  the  forenoon,  and  so  I  did.  Miss 
Van  and  her  uncle  had  gone  early  to  the  neighbor- 
ing town,  the  largest  in  the  county,  for  church  and 
the  opportunity  of  observing ;  Fred  and  his  wife 
hnd  gone,  the  night  before,  round  to  the  other 
side  of  the  mountains,  where  there  was  to  be  a 
sort  of  ball  or  hop  at  the  leading  hotel ;  and  the 
rest  of  the  people  in  the  house  might  as  well  have 
been  in  the  moon,  for  all  that  I  cared  about  them. 
A  nice  quiet  time  I  Oh,  yes  ;  lounging  about  and 
trying  to  think  of  something  besides  Mrs.  Pinker- 
ton  and  my  own  shabby  behavior.  I  would  ten 
times  rather  have  been  in  the  dullest  country 
church  that  ever  echoed  to  the  voice  of  the  old 
and  unimproved  theology  of  Calvin's  day.  But  I 
was  in  for  it,  and  lay  in  the  hammock  and  looked 


THE   RISE   AND   FALL.  59 

through  the  stables,  tried  to  read,  tried  to  sleep, 
started  on  a  walk  and  came  back,  and  almost 
cursed  the  quiet  country  Sunday,  as  specially  cal- 
culated to  make  a  man  of  sense  feel  wretched. 

At  last  Bessie  and  her  mother  returned,  and  wo 
had  dinner.  In  the  afternoon  I  was  an  outcast 
from  Mrs.  Pinkerton's  favor,  but  I  had  Bessie  and 
read  to  her,  and,  on  the  whole,  got  through  the 
rest  of  the  day  comfortably. 

The  week  following  I  began  to  feel  that  this 
was  getting  tiresome.  Under  other  circumstances 
it  might  be  very  pleasant,  but  really  I  began  to 
doubt  whether  I  was  enjoying  it.  But  I  made  up 
my  mind  that  during  these  days  of  leisure  I 
ought  to  be  making  progress  in  the  favor  of  my 
mother-in-law,  with  whom  I  was  destined  to  live, 
nobody  could  say  how  many  years.  I  could  n't 
and  A^ould  n't  make  a  martyr  or  a  hypocrite  of 
myself.  I  would  n't  conceal  my  actions  or  deny 
myself  freedom.  So  I  smoked  with  Fred,  played 
billiards,  rolled  ten-pins  with  Fred's  wife  and 
Miss  Van,  and  even  beguiled  Bessie  into  that  vig- 
orous and  healthful  exercise,  which  brought  a  gen- 
tle reprimand  from  her  mother,  addressed  to  her 


MY   MOTfiER-IN-LAW. 


but  directed  at  me.  She  did  not  think  that  kind 
of  amusement  becoming  to  ladies  who  had  a 
oroper  respect  for  themselves. 

"Why,  mamma,  Miss  Van  Duzen  plays,  and 
says  she  thinks  it  jolly  fun,"  said  Bessie  inno- 
cently. 

"  That  does  n't  alter  the  case  in  the  least,"  was 
the  rejoinder.  "Miss  Van  Duzen  can  judge  for 
herself.  I  don't  think  it  proper.  Besides,  your 
husband's  familiar  way  with  those  ladies  —  one  of 
whom  is  married  and  no  better  than  she  ought  to 
be,  if  appearances  mean  anything  —  does  not  please 
me  at  all." 

"  O  mamma,  how  absurd  I  I  see  no  harm  in  it 
at  all,  and  poor  Lizzie,  I  am  sure,  never  means 
any  harm." 

"Well,  well,  my  dear,  I  don't  wish  to  say  any- 
thing about  other  people,  and  I  only  hope  you 
will  never  have  occasion  to  see  any  harm  in  your 
husband's  evident  preference  for  the  company  of 
people  with  loose  notions  about  proper  and  becom- 
ing behavior." 

On  Saturday  of  that  week  a  little  incident 
occurred  that  raised  me  perceptibly  in  Mrs. 


THE   RISE   AND   FALL. 


Pinkerton's  estimation.  The  great,  lumbering 
stage-coach  came  up  just  at  evening,  more  heavily 
laden  than  usual,  and  top-heavy  with  trunks  piled 
up  on  the  roof.  The  driver  dashed  along  with  his 
customary  recklessness,  the  six  horses  breaking 
into  a  canter  as  they  turned  to  come  up  the  rather 
steep  acclivity  to  the  house.  The  coach  was 
drawn  about  a  foot  from  its  usual  rut,  one  of  the 
wheels  struck  a  projecting  stone,  and  over  went 
the  huge  vehicle,  passengers,  trunks,  and  all.  The 
driver  took  a  terrible  leap  and  was  stunned.  The 
horses  stopped  and  looked  calmly  around  on  the 
havoc.  There  was  great  consternation  in  and 
about  the  house.  Here  my  natural  self-posses- 
sion came  into  full  play.  I  took  command  of  the 
situation  at  once,  directed  prompt  and  vigorous 
efforts  to  the  extrication  of  the  passengers,  had 
the  injured  ones  taken  into  the  house,  applied 
proper  restoratives,  and  in  a  few  minutes  ascer- 
tained that  only  one  was  seriously  hurt.  She  was 
a  young  girl,  who  had  insisted  on  riding  outside, 
higher  up  even  than  the  driver.  She  had  been 
thrown  headlong,  striking,  fortunately,  on  the 
grass,  but  terribly  bruising  one  side  of  her  face  and 


62  MT   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

dislocating  her  left  shoulder.  In  a  trice  I  had 
made  her  as  comfortable  as  possible  ;  dashed  down 
to  the  village  for  the  nearest  doctor,  having  had 
the  forethought  to  order  a  team  harnessed  in  anti- 
cipation of  such  a  necessity ;  and,  having  started 
the  doctor  up  in  a  hurry,  kept  on  to  the  neighbor- 
ing county  town  for  a  surgeon  who  had  consider- 
able local  reputation.  I  had  him  on  the  ground  in 
a  surprisingly  short  time,  and  before  bedtime  the 
unfortunate  girl  was  put  in  the  way  of  recovery, 
having  received  no  internal  injury. 

My  behavior  in  this  affair,  as  I  said,  gave  me  a 
lift  in  my  mother-in-law's  estimation,  and  of  course 
filled  Bessie  with  the  most  unbounded  admiration, 
though  I  had  never  thought  of  the  moral  effect 
of  my  action.  In  the  morning  I  determined  to 
follow  up  my  advantage.  It  was  Sunday  again, 
and  I  bespoke  the  team  early,  to  go  to  the  neigh- 
ooring  town,  where  there  was  an  Episcopal 
church,  and  where,  for  that  day,  a  distinguished 
divine  from  the  city,  who  was  spending  his  vaca- 
tion in  those  parts,  was  to  hold  forth.  When  I 
had  announced  my  preparation  for  thf  religious 
observance  of  the  day,  I  actually  received  what  was 


THE   RISE  AND  FALL.  63 

almost  a  smile  of  approval  from  my  mother-in-law. 
1  enjoyed  the  ride,  and  was  not  greatly  bored  by  the 
service,  for  I  was  thinking  of  something  else  most 
of  the  time,  or  amusing  my  mind  with  the  native 
congregation.  We  got  back  late  to  dinner,  and 
the  rest  had  left  the  dining-room.  The  ladies 
went  in  without  removing  their  bonnets,  and  after 
dinner  retired  to  their  rooms. 

As  I  came  out  on  the  piazza,  Fred,  who  was 
walking  about  in  a  restless  way,  puffing  his  cigar 
with  a  sort  of  ferocity,  as  though  determined  to 
put  it  through  as  speedily  as  possible,  shouted, 
w  Hello  !  Charlie,  old  boy,  where  the  eternal  furies 
have  you  been?  Here  I  have  been  about  this 
dead,  sleepy,  stupid  place  all  the  morning,  with 
nothing  to  do  and  nobody  to  speak  to  I " 

"Why,  where 's  Mrs.  M.  ?" 

"Lib?  Oh,  she's  been  here,  but  then  she  was 
reading  a  ghastly  stupid  novel,  and  wasn't  com- 
pany ;  and  she  went  off  to  the  big  boarding-house 
down  the  road  half  a  mile,  to  dine  with  a  friend. 
I  wouldn't  go  to  the  blasted  place,  and  really 
think  she  didn't  want  me  to.  But  where  ir 
thunder  were  you  all  the  while  ?  " 


64  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

"At  chuvch,  to  be  sure,  with  my  wife  and  her 
mother." 

"  Oh,  yes  1"  was  the  reply,  peculiarly  prolonged, 
as  if  the  idea  never  occurred  to  him  before.  "  How 
long  since  you  became  so  pious,  old  man? 
Didn't  suppose  you  knew  what  the  inside  of  a 
church  ^vas  used  for.  The  outside  is  mainly  use- 
ful to  put  &  clock  on,  where  it  can  be  seen.  Old 
Pink,  —  beg  pardon  I  Mrs.  Pinkerton,  —  I  sup- 
pose, dragged  you  along  by  main  force." 

"  Not  at  all.  I  went  of  my  own  motion ;  in  fact, 
suggested  it  to  the  ladies." 

w  You  don't  say  so  I  Well,  I  se«  she  is  bring- 
ing you  around.  It  is  she  that  is  destined  to  gain 
the  supremacy." 

"  Pshaw  I  Is  my  going  to  church  such  an  indi- 
cation of  submission?  It  wouldn't  do  you  any 
harm  to  go  to  church  once  in  a  while,  Fred." 

"Well,  I  don't  know  about  that,"  he  said,  tak- 
ing out  his  cigar,  and  stretching  his  feet  to  the  top 
of  the  balustrade ;  "  I  don't  know  about  that.  I 
am  afraid  it  might  be  the  ruin  of  me.  I  might 
become  awfully  pious,  and  then  what  a  stick  and 
a  moping  man  of  rags  I  should  become.  I  tell 


THE  RISE   AND  FALL.  65 

you,  Charlie,  my  boy,  there 's  many  a  good  fellow 
spoilt  by  too  much  church  and  Sunday  school." 

"Perhaps,"!  replied,  "but  you  and  I  are  be- 
yond danger." 

"Well,  yes,  but  you  can't  be  too  careful  of 
yourself,  you  know." 

There  was  no  answering  that,  and  we  relapsed 
into  commonplace,  and  finished  our  cigars. 

"  Where 's  old  Dives  to-day,  and  his  charming 
niece,  the  lively  Van?"  asked  Fred,  after  an 
uncommon  fit  of  silent  contemplation. 

"  They  went  over  to  some  town  thirty  or  forty 
miles  away,  yesterday,  and  have  n't  got  back," 
I  replied. 

"I  tell  you,  that  girl  knows  how  to  circumvent 
these  stupid  Sundays,  don't  she,  though?  And 
she  takes  old  Dives  along  wherever  she  wants  to 
go.  I  believe  she  would  take  him  where  the 
other  Dives  went,  if  she  was  disposed  to  take  a 
trip  there  herself.  But,  holy  Jerusalem !  what 
are  we  to  do  to  get  through  the  rest  of  the  day  I 
No  company,  no  billiards,  no  fishing.  Confound 
the  prejudices  of  society.  I  tell  you,  it  is  just 
such  women  as  that  mother-in-law  of  yours  that 
i 


66 


MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


keep  society  intimidated,  as  it  were,  into  artifi- 
cial proprieties.  Now  where 's  the  harm  of  a 
pleasant  game  on  a  Sunday,  more  than  sitting 
here  and  grumbling  and  cursing  because  there 's 
nothing  to  do  ?  " 

I  made  no  reply,  and  Fred  lighted  another  cigar. 
He  was  evidently  thinking  of  something.  M  Look 
here,  old  fellow,"  he  said  at  length  in  an  undertone, 
something  very  unusual  with  him,  w  come  up  to 
my  room.  You  have  n't  seen  it.  Lib  won't  be  back 
till  teatime,  and  perhaps  we  can  find  something  to 
amuse  ourselves." 

He  led  the  way  and  I  followed,  thinking  no 
harm.  His  room  was  up  stairs  and  on  the  back 
of  the  house,  looking  up  the  great  hill  that  stretched 
Hack  to  the  clouds.  As  we  entered,  I  found  he 
had  brought  a  good  many  things  with  him,  and 
given  the  room  much  the  air  of  the  quarters  of  a 
bachelor  in  the  city.  His  sleeping-room  was  sep- 
arate from  that,  and  formed  a  sort  of  boudoir  for  his 
wife.  He  motioned  me  to  an  easy-chair,  set  a  box 
of  fine  cigars  on  the  table,  and  going  to  the  closet 
brought  out  a  decanter  of  sherry  and  some  glasses. 

"In  these  cursed  pkces,  you  can  get  nothing  to 


RISE    AND   FALL.  6t 


drink,"  he  said,  "  unless  on  the  sly,  and  I  hate  that  ; 
so  I  bring  along  my  own  beverages,  you  see." 

I  saw  and  tasted,  and  found  it  very  good.  lie 
was  still  fumbling  about  the  closet,  with  profane 
ejaculations,  and  finally  emerged  with  something  in 
his  hand  that  I  at  first  took  for  a  small  book. 
But  he  unblushingly  put  on  the  table  that  paste- 
board volume  sometimes  called  the  Devil's  Bible. 
"Come,"  he  said,  "  where  's  the  harm?  Let  us 
have  a  quiet  game  of  Casino  or  California  Jack, 
or  something  else.  It  is  better  than  perishing  of 
stupidity." 

I  demurred.  I  was  not  over-scrupulous,  but  1 
had  sufficient  of  my  early  breeding  left  to  have  a 
qualm  of  conscience  at  the  thought  of  playing 
cards  on  Sunday. 

"Oh,  nonsense!"  said  Fred,  carelessly,  as  he 
proceeded  to  deal  the  cards  for  Casino.  "There, 
you  have  an  ace  and  little  Casino  right  before  you. 
Go  ahead,  old  man  !  " 

I  made  a  feeble  show  of  protesting,  but  took 
up  my  cards,  and,  finding  that  I  could  capture  the 
ace  and  little  Casino,  took  them.  From  that  the 
play  went  on  ;  I  became  quite  absorbed,  and  dis- 


68  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

missed  my  scruples,  when,  as  the  sun  was  getting 
low,  a  shadow  passed  the  window. 

"Great  Jupiter!"  I  exclaimed,  looking  up. 
"Does  that  second-story  piazza  go  all  the  way 
round  here  ?  " 

"To  be  sure,"  answered  Fred,  whose  back  was 
to  the  window.  "  Why  not?  "What  did  you 
see, — a  spook?" 

"  My  mother-in-law  I  " 

"  The  devil !  " 

"No,  Mrs.  Pinkerton!" 

"  Well,  what  do  you  care?  You  are  your  own 
boss,  I  hope." 

"  Yes,  of  course ;  but  she  will  be  terribly 
oflended,  and  I  think  it  would  be  pleasanter  for 
all  concerned  to  keep  in  her  good  graces." 

"  Gammon  !  Assert  your  rights,  be  master  ol 
yourself,  and  teach  the  old  woman  her  place. 

D me,  if  I  would  have  a  mother-in-law  riding 

over  me,  or  prying  around  to  see  what  I  was  about  I" 

"Oh,  I  am  sure  she  passed  the  window  by  acci- 
dent. She  would  never  pry  around  ;  it  is  n't  her 
style ;  she  has  a  fine  sense  of  propriety,  has  my 
mother-in-law  1 " 


THE   RISE   AND   FALL.  69 

"  Oh,  yes,  old  Pink  is  the  pink  of  propriety,  no 
doubt  about  that !  "  said  the  rascal,  laughing  heart- 
ily at  his  heartless  pun. 

But  I  couldn't  laugh.  I  saw  plainly  enough 
that  I  had  lost  more  than  all  the  ground  that  I  had 
gained  in  my  mother-in-law's  favor,  and  my  task 
would  be  harder  than  ever.  I  had  no  more  desire 
to  play  cards,  and  sauntered  down  stairs  and  out 
of  doors  as  if  nothing  had  happened.  At  the  tea- 
table  Mrs.  Pinkcrton  was  very  impressive  in  her 
manner,  but  showed  no  direct  consciousness  of  any- 
thing new.  On  the  piazza,  after  tea,  she  was  un- 
commonly affable  to  her  daughter,  and,  I  thought, 
a  little  'disposed  to  keep  Bessie  from  talking  to 
me.  The  latter  appeared  troubled  somewhat,  and 
looked  at  me  in  an  anxious  way,  as  if  longing  to 
rush  into  my  arms  and  ask  me  all  about  it  and  say 
how  willingly  she  forgave  me ;  but  her  mother 
kept  her  within  the  circle  of  her  influence,  and  I 
sat  apart,  harboring  unutterable  thoughts  and  say- 
ing nothing.  At  last  Mrs.  Piukertou  arose,  and 
said  sweetly,  "  I  would  n't  stay  out  any  later,  dear  * 
it  is  rather  damp." 

"Stay  with  me,  Bessie,"  I  said,   "I  want  to 


70  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

speak  to  you.  Your  mother  is  at  liberty  to  go  in 
whenever  she  pleases."  It  was  then  she  gave  me 
a  disdainful  look  and  swept  in,  and  I  muttered 
the  wish  regarding  her  transportation  to  a  distant 
clime,  which  brought  out  the  gentle  rebuke  with 
which  this  story  opens. 

I  saw  no  prospect  of  enjoying  a  longer  stay  at 
the  Fairview,  unless  some  burglary  or  terrible 
accident  should  occur  to  give  me  chance  for  a  new 
display  of  my  heroic  qualities,  and  even  then,  I 
thought,  it  would  be  of  no  use,  for  I  should  spoil 
it  all  next  day.  So  we  determined  to  go  home 
a  week  earlier  than  we  had  intended.  The  Mars- 
tons  were  going  to  Canada  and  Lake  George,  and 
would  n't  reach  home  till  October.  Mr.  Desmond 
and  his  niece  stayed  a  mouth  longer  where  they 
were,  and  that  would  bring  them  home  about  the 
game  time.  Bessie  and  I  went  home  with  a  lack 
of  that  buoyant  bliss  with  which  we  had  travelled 
to  the  mountains  and  spent  those  first  two  weeks. 
There  was  no  change  in  us,  but  it  was  all  due  to 
my  mother-in-law. 


WHAT  IS  HOME  WITHOUT  A  MOTHER-IN-LAW  ?     71 


CHAPTER     VI. 

WHAT   IS   HOME    WITHOUT   A   MOTHER-IN-LAW? 

TTOME  I  \Ve  were  back  from  the  mountains, 
and  our  brief  wedding-journey  had  become 
a  thing  of  the  past.  Mrs.  Pinker-ton's  iron-bound 
trunk  had  been  reluctantly  deposited  in  her  bed- 
chamber by  a  puffing  and  surly  hack-driver ;  and 
here  was  I,  installed  in  the  little  cottage  as  head 
of  the  household,  for  weal  or  for  woe.  It  was 
Mrs.  Piukerton's  cottage,  to  be  sure,  but  I  entered 
^t  with  the  determination  not  to  live  there  as  a 
boarder  or  as  a  guest  subject  to  the  proprietor's 
condescending  hospitality.  I  was  able  and  not  un- 
willing to  establish  a  home  of  my  own,  and  inas- 
much as  I  refrained  from  doing  so  because  of  Mrs. 
Pinkerton's  desire  to  keep  her  daughter  with  her, 
I  had  the  right  to  consider  myself  under  no  obliga- 
tion to  my  mother-in-law. 

The  cottage  was  far  from  being  a  disagreeable 


72  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

place  in  itself.  It  was  small,  but  extremely  ne/it 
and  pleasant.  The  rooms  were  furnished  with  a 
degree  of  quiet  taste  that  defied  criticism.  The 
hand  of  an  accomplished  housekeeper  was  every- 
where made  manifest,  and  everything  had  an  air 
of  refinement  and  comfort.  There  was  no  osten- 
tatious furniture ;  the  chairs  were  made  to  sit  in, 
but  not  to  put  one's  boots  on.  The  cleanliness  of 
the  house  was  terrible.  One  could  see  that  no 
man  had  lived  there  since  the  death  of  the  late 
Piukerton. 

Our  room  was  the  same  that  had  been  occupied 
by  Bessie  since  she  was  a  school-girl  in  short 
frocks.  It  was  full  of  Bessie's  "things,"  and  it 
was  lucky  that  my  effects  occupied  but  very  little 
space. 

"This  is  jolly,"  I  said,  as  I  sat  down  on  the 
edge  of  the  bed  and  pulled  a  cigar  from  my 
pocket.  "How  soon  will  supper  be  ready,  I  won- 
der?" 

There  was  no  response.  Bessie  was  unpacking, 
—  and  such  an  unpacking  I 

I  lighted  my  cigar  and  threw  myself  back  on 
the  bed,  wondering  how  they  had  got  on  without 


WHAT  IS  HOME  WITHOUT  A  MOTHER-IN-LAW?     73 

me  at  the  bank.  Presently  in  came  mother-in-law 
to  lend  a  hand  at  the  unpacking.  She  did  not  see 
me  at  first,  but  the  fragrance  of  my  Manila  soon 
reached  her  nostrils,  and  she  turned. 

Such  a  look  as  she  cast  upon  me !  It  almost 
took  my  breath  away.  But  she  did  not  say  a  word. 
'  The  subject  is  beyond  her  powers  of  speech,"  1 
laid  to  myself.  "  Let  us  hope  it  will  be  so  as  a 
general  thing." 

However,  it  made  me  feel  uncomfortable,  so  by 
and  by  I  got  off  the  bed  and  went  down  stairs. 

At  the  supper-table  I  tried  to  make  myself  as 
Agreeable  as  possible.  I  talked  over  the  trip,  and 
.  »poke  of  the  people  we  had  met  at  the  mountains ; 
hut  I  had  most  of  the  conversation  to  myself. 
Bessie  did  not  seem  to  be  in  a  mood  to  chat ;  Mrs. 
Pinkerton  devoted  herself  to  impaling  me  with 
her  eyes  once  in  a  while ;  in  a  word,  the  mental 
atmosphere  was  muggy. 

"  Desmond  has  travelled  a  great  deal,"  I  said. 
"  I  was  speaking  of  French  politics  the  other  day, 
and  he  gave  me  a  long  harangue  on  the  situation. 
He  was  in  Paris  several  years,  when  he  was  a 
good  deal  younger  than  he  is  now." 


74  MY  MOTHEH-tff-LAWt 

"Mr.  Desmond  is  not  a  very  old  man,"  said 
Mrs.  Pinkerton,  "  but  he  has  passed  that  age 
when  men  think  they  know  all  there  is  to  be 
known." 

I  accepted  this  shot  good-naturedly,  and  laughed. 

"  His  niece  is  a  remarkably  bright  girl,"  I  con- 
tinued. w  Don't  you  think  so  ?  " 

"  I  cannot  say  I  think  it  either  bright  or  proper 
for  a  young  lady  to  go  off  alone  on  mountain 
excursions  for  half  a  day,  and  return  with  her 
dress  torn  and  her  hands  all  scratched." 

"  Well,  it  was  rather  imprudent,  but  you  know 
she  said  she  had  no  intention  of  going  so  far  when 
she  started,  and  she  missed  her  way." 

"  I  did  not  hear  her  excuses.  She  appeared  to 
be  a  spoiled  child,  and  her  manners  were  insuffer- 
ably offensive.  I  should  have  known  she  came 
from  New  York,  even  if  I  had  not  been  told." 

"  Do  you  think  all  New-Yorkers  are  loud  ?  " 

"  I  said  no  such  thing.  There  is  a  class  of  New 
York  young  people  who  are  so  '  loud '  that  re- 
spectable people  cannot  have  anything  to  do  with 
them  without  lowering  themselves.  Miss  Van 
Duzen  belongs  to  that  class." 


WHAT  IS  HOME  WITHOUT  A  MOTHER-IN-LAW  ?      75 

"You  are  rough  on  her,  upon  my  word.  I 
don't  think  she  's  half  so  bad,  do  you,  Bessie  ?  " 

"  I  liked  her  very  much,"  said  Bessie.  "  She 
may  not  be  our  style  exactly,  but  I  think  at  heart 
she  is  a  good,  true  girl." 

"  I  wonder  if  she  will  call,"  I  said.  "  By  the 
way,  Fred  Marston  is  coming  out  to  see  us  as 
soon  as  he  gets  back  to  the  city." 

"As  to  that  young  man,"  Mrs.  Pinkerton 
remarked,  with  some  show  of  vivacity,  "  he 
impressed  me  as  being  little  less  than  disreputa- 
ble." 

"  Disreputable  1  I  would  have  you  understand 
that  Fred  Marston  is  one  of  my  friends,"  I  ex- 
claimed, growing  angry,  "and  he  is  as  respectable 
as  the  rector  of  St.  Thomas's  Church  !  " 

Phew !  Now  I  had  done  it.  Mrs.  Pinkerton 
was  thoroughly  scandalized  and  offended.  She 
got  up,  and  we  left  the  table,  Bessie  looking  troub- 
led. I  went  into  the  library,  and  after  lighting 
a  cigar,  sat  down  to  read  the  papers.  Bessie,  who 
had  followed  me,  brushed  the  journal  out  of  my 
hand  and  seated  herself  on  my  knee. 

"  Charlie,"  she  said,  kissing  me,  and  smoothing 


76  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

the  hair  away  from  my  brow,  "  can't  you  and 
mamma  ever  get  along  any  better  than  this  ?  " 

"A  conundrum!  I  never  guessed  one,  so  I 
shall  have  to  give  this  up.  But  don't  you  see  how 
it  is,  dearest?  I  try  to  be  good  to  her,  and  sho 
won't  meet  me  half-way.  On  the  contrary,  she 
tries  to  nag  me,  I  think.  It  was  n't  my  fault  to- 
night. What  right  has  she  to  run  down  my 
friends?  If  she  don't  like  them,  she  might  leave 
them  alone,  and  be  precious  sure  they  'd  leave  her 
alone.  She  don't  like  smoking ;  I  tried  to  swear 
off,  tried  mighty  hard,  but  it  was  no  use.  You 
see  —  " 

"  It  was  n't  quite  necessary  for  you  to  make  that 
remark  about  the  Eev.  Dr.  McCanon,  was  it, 
Charlie  ?  " 

w  "Well,  no ;  I  ?m  sorry,  but  she  provoked  me  to 
it.  I'll  apologize." 

"And  then,  Charlie,  you  will  tiy  to  be  a  little 
more  patient  with  mamma,  won't  you  ?  " 

"Yes,  I  do  try,  but  the  trouble  is  that  she  don't 
like  me.  Must  I  keep  my  mouth  shut,  throw 
away  my  cigars,  bounce  all  my  friends,  and  sit  up 
with  my  arms  folded  ?  " 


WHAT  IS  HOME  WITHOUT  A  MOTHER-IN-LAW  ?      77 

"  Oh,  no,  dear.  Be  good  to  her,  and  be  patient ; 
it  will  all  come  around  right  in  time." 

That  was  Bessie's  way  of  lightening  present 
troubles, — "It  will  all  come  around  right  in 
time."  Blessed  hope !  "  Man  never  is,  but 
always  to  be  blest." 

My  duties  now  kept  me  at  the  bank  nearly  all 
day,  and  for  a  few  weeks  affairs  went  on  at  home 
very  smoothly.  At  table  Mrs.  Pinkerton  main- 
tained a  sphinx-like  silence,  and  I  directed  my 
conversation  to  Bessie.  When  the  old  lady 
opened  her  mouth,  it  was  to  snub  me.  The  snub 
direct,  the  snub  indirect,  the  snub  implied,  and 
the  snub  far-fetched,  —  I  submitted  to  all  with  a 
cheerful  spirit,  and  not  a  hasty  retort  escaped  me. 

At  Bessie's  request,  I  now  smoked  only  in  the 
library,  or  in  our  own  room.  I  bought  a  highly 
ornamental  Japanese  affair,  of  curious  workman- 
ship, as  a  receptacle  for  cigar-ashes.  Altogether, 
I  behaved  like  a  good  boy. 

One  evening  Marston  dropped  in.  When  his 
card  was  brought  up  stairs,  I  handed  it  over  to 
Bessie,  and  hurried  to  the  library. 

"  How  are  you,  old  man  ?  "  he  said,  or,  rather, 


7$  MY   MOTHER-ltt-LAW. 

shouted.  "How  do  you  like  it,  as  far  as  you've 
got?" 

"Tip-top.  I'm  glad  to  see  you.  When  did 
you  get  back  ?  " 

"Last  Saturday,  and  mighty  glad  to  get  back 
to  a  live  place,  too.  Smoke?" 

"Thank  you.  Bessie  will  be  down  in  a  min- 
ute." 

"How 'sold  Pink?" 

"  S-s-h  I  She 's  all  right.  Don't  speak  so  con- 
foundedly loud." 

M Ha,  ha  I  I  see  how  it  is.  By  and  by  you 
won't  dare  say  your  soul 's  your  own.  I  pity  you, 
Charlie,  upon  my  word  I  do.  Ned  Tupney  was 
married  a  few  days  ago,  did  you  know  it?  and 
he  's  got  a  devil  of  a  mother-in-law  on  his  hands, 
a  regular  roarer  —  " 

"Here  comes  my  wife,"  I  broke  in.  "For 
Heaven's  sake,  change  the  subject.  Talk  about 
roses  I " 

Bessie  entered  and  exchanged  a  friendly  greet- 
ing with  Fred. 

"  I  was  telling  Charlie  about  some  wonderful 
roses  I  saw  at  Primton's  green-house,"  said  the 


WHAT  is  SOME  WITHOXJT  A  MOTHER-IN-LAW?    79 

unabashed  visitor,  and  he  forthwith  laid  aside  hia 
cigar  —  on  the  tablecloth  !  —  and  launched  into  » 
glowing  description  of  the  imaginary  flowers. 

Before  he  had  finished,  Mrs.  Pinkerton  entered 
much  to  my  surprise.  She  too  wed  in  a  statel} 
manner,  inquired  formally  as  to  the  state  of 
Fred's  health,  and  as  she  took  a  seat  I  saw  he) 
glance  take  in  that  cigar. 

Fred  could  talk  exceedingly  well  when  he  w»a 
so  disposed,  and  he  entertained  us  excellently,  I 
thought.  He  had  seen  a  good  deal  of  the  world, 
was  a  close  observer,  and  had  the  faculty  of  chat- 
ting hi  a  fascinating  way  about  subjects  that  would 
usually  be  called  commonplace.  He  was  pleased 
with  the  aspect  of  the  cottage,  and  complimented 
it  gracefully. 

"Love  in  a  cottage,"  he  sighed,  casting  a  quick 
glance  around  the  room,  —  "  well,  it  is  n't  so  ba<5 
after  all,  with  plenty  of  books,  a  pleasant  garden, 
sunny  rooms,  a  pretty  view,  and  a  mother-in-law 
to  look  after  a  fellow  and  keep  him  straight,"  And 
the  wretch  looked  at  Mrs.  Pinkcrton,  and  laughed 
in  a  sociable  way. 

I  promptly  called  hi?  Retention  to  a  beautiful 


80  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

edition  of  Thackeray's  works  ID  the  bookcase,  a 
recent  purchase. 

In  the  course  of  a  half-hour's  call,  Fred  man- 
aged to  introduce  the  dangerous  topic  at  least  a 
half-dozen  times,  and  each  time  I  was  compelled 
to  choke  him  off  by  ramming  some  other  subject 
down  his  throat  willy-nilly. 

Finally  he  rose  to  go.  I  accompanied  him  to 
the  front  door. 

w  Sociable  creature,  old  Pink,  eh  ? "  he  said. 
"Does n't  love  me  too  well.  Is  she  always  as  fes- 
tive and  amusing  as  to-night  ?  " 

"  Hold  on  a  minute,"  was  my  reply.  I  ran  back 
and  got  my  hat  and  cane,  and  accompanied  him 
toward  the  railroad  station. 

"See  here,  Fred,"  I  said,  "your  intentions  are 
good,  but  I  wish  you  would  quit  talking  about 
Mrs.  Pinkerton.  I  am  doing  my  best  to  live 
peaceably  and  comfortably  in  the  same  house  with 
her,  and  you  don't  help  me  a  bit  with  your  gab- 
ble. She  is  a  very  worthy  woman,  and  not  half 
so  stupid  as  you  imagine.  I  admit  that  we  don't 
get  along  together  quite  as  I  could  wish,  but  I'm 
trying  to  please  my  wife  by  being  as  good  a  son 


WHAT  IS  HOME  WITHOUT  A  MOTHER-IN-I^W  ?      81 

as  I  can  be  to  her  mother.     What 's  the  use  of 
trying  to  rile  up  our  little  puddle?"  v 

"Oh,  all  right!"  he  rejoined.  "  If  you  prefer 
your  puddle  should  be  stagnant  —  admirable 
metaphor,  by  the  way  —  it  shall  be  as  you  wish. 
Only  I  hate  to  see  the  way  things  are  going  with 
you,  and  I'm  bound  to  tell  you  so.  You  are 
losing  your  spirit,  tying  your  hands,  and  throw- 
ing all  your  manly  independence  to  the  winds. 
If  you  live  two  years  with  that  irreproachable 
mummy,  you  won't  be  worth  knowing.  Do  you 
dare  go  into  town  with  me  and  have  a  game  of 
billiards?" 

I  went.  We  had  several  games.  I  got  home 
about  midnight.  The  next  morning,  at  the  break- 
fast-table, Mrs.  Pinkerton  said  dryly,  — 

w  Your  friend  Marston  pities  you,  does  n't 
he?" 

"I  don't  know;  if  he  does,  he  wastes  his  emo- 
tions," I  replied. 

"I  am  glad  you  think  so.     He  takes  a  good 
deal  of  interest  in  your  welfare,  and  I  suppose  he 
could  be  prevailed  upon  to  give  you  wise  advice 
in  case  of  need." 
I 


82  MT   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

* 

" I  dare  say.  Fred  is  a  good  fellow,  and  advice 
is  as  cheap  as  dirt." 

"And  pity?" 

"Pity I  Why  do  you  think  Fred  pities  me? 
Why  should  he  pity  me  ?  " 

"Your  question  is  hypocritical,  because  you 
know  very  well  that  he  thinks  you  are  a  victim,  — 

a  victim  of  a  terrible  mother-in-law." 

• 

It  was  the  first  tune  she  had  ever  spoken  out  so 
openly.  I  said,  — 

"We  will  leave  it  to  Bessie.  Bessie,  do  I  look 
like  a  victim  ?  n 

"  No,"  said  Bessie,  "but  you  are  both  the  queerest 
puzzles  I  Mamma  is  always  her  dearest  self  when 
you  are  away,  Charlie.  You  don't  know  each  other 
at  all  yet.  When  you  are  together  you  are  both 
horrid,  and  when  you  are  apart  you  are  both  lovely. 
And  yet  I  don't  know  why  it  should  be  so ;  there 
is  no  quarrel  between  you  —  and  —  and  —  " 

And  Bessie  began  to  cry.     I  got  up. 

"No,  there's  no  quarrel  between  us,"  I  said; 
"  but  perhaps  a  straight-out  row  would  be  better 
than  forever  to  be  eating  our  own  vitals  with  sup- 
pressed rancor." 


WHAT  IS  HOME  WITHOUT  A  MOTHER-IN-LAW  ?      83 

Mrs.  Pinkerton  made  as  if  she  would  go  around 
to  where  Bessie  sat,  to  condole  with  her,  without 
noticing  my  remark. 

"No,  don't  trouble  yourself,"  I  cried.  "It's  my 
place  to  comfort  my  wife."  And  I  took  Bessie  in 
my  arms  tenderly,  and  kissed  her  tear-stained 
cheek  almost  fiercely. 

This  theatrical  demonstration  caused  my  mother- 
in-law  to  sweep  out  of  the  room  promptly,  with 
her  temper  as  nearly  ruffled  as  I  had  ever  seen  it. 

"  O  Charlie  I "  whimpered  my  poor  little  wife 
despairingly,  "what  shall  I  do?  It's  awful  to 
have  you  and  mamma  this  way  I " 

And  now  it  was  my  turn  to  say,  "  Cheer  up,  my 
love  I  It  will  all  come  around  right  in  time." 

But  my  arriere  pensee  was,  "Would  that  that 
burglar  had  bagged  the  old  iceberg,  and  carried 
her  off  to  her  native  Nova  Zembla ! " 


MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


CHAPTER    VII. 

MISS   VAN'S    PARTY   AND   ANOTHER   UNPLEASANTNESS. 


/^\KE  day  in  the  early  fall,  Mrs.  Pinkerton 
received  a  letter  postmarked  at  Paris,  which 
seemed  to  throw  her  into  a  state  of  extraordinary 
excitement.  I  knew  her  well  enough  to  be  cer- 
tain that  she  would  not  tell  me  the  news,  but  that 
I  should  hear  it  later  through  Bessie.  Such  was 
the  cat;e.  When  I  came  home  towards  evening 
and  went  up  stairs  to  prepare  for  supper,  Bessie, 
who  was  seated  in  our  room,  said  in  a  joyful 
tone,  — 

"  George  is  coming  home  next  month  !  " 
"That's  good,"  I  said;  and  the  more  I  thought 
of  it  the  better  it  seemed.  A  new  element  would 
be  infused  into  our  home  life  with  his  advent, 
and  I  confidently  believed  that  the  widow's  society 
would  be  vastly  more  tolerable  when  he  was 
among  us.  George  had  been  so  long  in  Paris  that 


inss  VAN'S  PART*.  85 

he  had  become  a  veritable  Parisian.  That  he 
would  bring  along  with  him  a  large  amount  of  Paris 
sunshine  and  vivacity  to  enliven  the  atmosphere  of 
our  little  circle,  I  felt  certain. 

"Is  he  coming  to  stay?  "  I  asked. 

"  He  don't  know.  He  says  he  never  makes  any 
plans  for  six  months  ahead.  It  will  depend  upon 
circumstances." 

"Well,  that's  Parisian.  I'm  very  glad  he's 
coming,  and  I  hope  circumstances  will  keep  him 
here.  Isn't  old  Dr.  Jones  pretty  nearly  dead? 
Seems  to  me  George  could  take  his  practice." 

"Now,  Charlie!" 

"  It 's  all  right,  puss  ;  doctors  must  die  as  well 
as  their  patients." 

I  broached  the  subject  to  mother-in-law  at  the 
supper-table,  and —  mirabile  dictul  —  she  agreed 
with  me  that  we  must  keep  George  with  us  when 
we  got  him. 

In  November  George  arrived.  He  did  n't  tele- 
graph from  New  York,  but  came  right  on  by  a 
night  train,  and,  walking  into  the  house  while  we 
were  at  breakfast,  took  us  by  surprise. 

Mrs.  Pinkerton  taken  by  surprise  was  a  funny 


86  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

phenomenon,  and  I  'm  afraid  propriety  received  a 
pretty  smart  blow  when  she  threw  her  napkin  into 
a  plate  of  buckwheat  cakes,  dropped  her  eye- 
glasses, and  rushed  to  meet  the  long-lost  prodigal. 

As  for  George,  he  brought  such  a  gale  into  the 
house  with  him  —  there  are  plenty  of  them  on  the 
Atlantic  in  November  —  that  everything  seemed 
metamorphosed.  He  laughed  and  shouted,  and 
hugged  firrt  one  of  us  and  then  another,  and 
finally  sat  down  and  ate  breakfast  enough  for  six 
Frenchmen,  every  minute  ripping  out  some  wicked 
little  French  oath  and  winking  at  his  mother  with 
the  utmost  complacency.  Never  since  I  had 
become  an  inmate  of  the  cottage  had  we  enjoyed 
a  meal  so  much  as  that  one.  There  was  an 
abandon,  an  insouciance,  an  esprit,  a  je-ne-sais- 
quoi  about  this  young  frog-eater  that  thoroughly 
carried  away  the  whole  party,  including  even  Mrs. 
Pinkerton. 

"When  George  had  eaten  everything  he  could 
find  on  the  table,  he  lighted  a  cigarette, — right 
there  in  the  dining-room,  too,  and  under  his 
mother's  eyes,  —  and  we  had  a  good,  long,  jolly 
talk  together,  Bessie  sitting  between  us  and  feast- 


MISS  VAN'S  PARTT.  87 

ing  her  eyes  on  her  brother's  comeliness.  He 
certainly  was  handsome. 

"  I  have  no  plans,"  he  said,  "  except  to  loaf  here 
awhile  and  wait  for  an  opening." 

"  A  French  Micawber,"  said  I.  "  And  I  suppose 
you  know  all  about  medicine  and  surgery  ?  " 

"  I  have  learned  when  not  to  give  medicine,  I 
believe,  and  so,  I  think,  I  can  save  lots  of  lives." 

A  few  days  after  George's  arrival  we  received 
a  call  from  the  Watsons.  I  had  never  had  the 
pleasure  of  meeting  the  "Watsons,  but  I  had  had 
the  Watsons  held  up  before  me  as  examples  of  the 
right  sort  of  style  so  many  times,  that  I  felt  al- 
ready well  acquainted  with  them. 

Mr.  Watson  was  a  very  retiring,  quiet  little 
man,  awed  into  obscurity  by  his  wife.  After  a 
long  and  persistent  effort  to  interest  him  in  con- 
versation, I  was  compelled  to  give  it  up,  and  to 
leave  him  smiling  blankly,  with  his  gaze  directed 
toward  the  Argand  burner. 

Mrs.  Watson  was  immense  in  every  sense  of 
the  word.  Her  moral  and  mental  dimensions 
were  awe-inspiring ;  and  she  delivered  what  I  after- 
wards found,  on  reflection,  to  be  very  common- 


88  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

place  utterances  in  a  style  in  which  unction, 
dogmatism,  self-satisfaction,  and  finality  were  pre- 
dominant. Once,  when  she  had  brought  forth  an 
unusually  imposing  sentence,  her  husband  fairly 
smacked  his  lips. 

The  Watsons  had  no  children.  They  were 
among  the  most  prominent  attendants  of  St. 
Thomas's,  and  the  old  gentleman  was  reputed  to 
be  worth  about  a  million. 

George  came  in  while  the  call  was  in  progress, 
and  after  greeting  the  Watsons,  he  turned  to  Mrs. 
W.,  and  uttered  one  of  the  most  polished,  del- 
icate, pleasing  little  compliments  it  has  ever  been 
my  fortune  to  hear  uttered.  Then  he  quietly  with- 
drew into  the  background. 

Just  then  some  more  callers  were  announced, 
and  what  was  my  surprise  to  see  Mr.  Desmond 
and  Miss  Van  Duzen  enter.  The  former  was  as 
resplendent  as  to  his  watch-chain  as  ever,  and  his 
niece  looked  charming.  Introductions  all  round 
followed,  and  the  company  broke  up  into  groups. 

George  took  a  seat  near  Miss  Van,  and  a  brisk  fire 
of  conversation  was  soon  under  way  between  them, 
varied  by  frequent  bursts  of  friendly  laughter. 


MISS  VAN'S  PARTY. 


Mr.  Desmond  soon  drew  out  Mr.  Watson,  and 
their  talk  was  on  stocks,  bonds,  and  the  like. 

After  Mrs.  Watson  had  proved  her  theory  of 
the  laws  of  the  universe,  and  had  almost  intoxicated 
my  worthy  mother-in-law  with  her  glittering 
rhetoric,  the  Watsons  took  their  departure.  Be- 
fore the  others  followed  their  example,  Miss  Van 
extended  an  informal  invitation  to  us  to  attend  a 
"social  gathering"  at  her  uncle's  residence  the 
following  Wednesday  evening. 

We  went,  of  course,  Mrs.  Pinkerton,  George, 
Bessie,  and  I.  It  was  a  pleasant  party,  and  it 
could  not  have  been  otherwise  with  Miss  Van  as 
the  hostess.  There  was  a  little  dancing,  —  not 
enough  to  entitle  it  to  be  called  a  dancing-party ; 
a  little  card-playing,  —  not  enough  to  make  it  a 
card-party  ;  and  there  was  a  vast  amount  of  bright 
and  pleasaut  conversation,  but  still  one  could  not 
name  it  a  converzatione.  The  company  was  re- 
markably good,  and  Miss  Van's  management, 
although  imperceptible,  was  so  skilful  that  her 
guests  found  themselves  at  their  ease,  and  enjoy- 
ing themselves,  without  knowing  that  their  pleas- 
ure was  more  than  half  due  to 


90  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

George  was  quite  a  lion,  and  I  envied  his  easy 
tact,  his  unconscious  grace  of  manner,  and  his 
faculty  of  saying  bright  things  without  effort.  He 
and  Miss  Van  got  on  famously  together,  and  she 
found  him  an  efficient  and  trustworthy  aid  in  her 
capacity  as  hostess. 

Mrs.  Pinkerton  made  a  lovely  wall-flower,  and 
I  could  not  refrain  from  a  wicked  chuckle  when  I 
saw  her  sitting  on  a  sofa,  exchanging  common- 
places with  a  puffing  dowager.  Presently,  how- 
ever, I  noticed  that  she  had  gone,  and  I  found 
that  Mr.  Desmond  had  been  kind  enough  to 
relieve  me  from  the  onerous  duty  of  taking  her 
down  to  supper. 

I  wish  I  had  a  printed  bill  of  fare  of  that  supper, 
for  even  George,  fresh  from  Ye" four's  and  the 
Trois  Freres  Proventjaux,  acknowledged  that  it 
was  sublime,  magnificent,  perfect.  We  men  folks, 
in  fact,  talked  so  much  about  it  afterwards,  that 
Bessie  rebuked  us  by  remarking  that  "  men  did  n't 
care  about  anything  so  much  as  eating." 

As  Fred  Marston  remarked  to  me,  while  help- 
ing himself  a  third  time  to  the  salad,  "It's  a  stun- 
ning old  lay-out,  is  n't  it  I  "  His  wife  was  there, 


Miss  TAN'S  PARTY.  9i 

dressed  "to  kill,"  as  he  himself  said,  and  dancing 
with  every  gentleman  she  could  decoy  into  asking 
her. 

After  we  had  come  up  from  the  supper-room, 
Fred  Marston  pulled  me  into  a  corner,  and  in- 
flicted on  me  a  volley  of  stinging  observations 
about  the  people  in  the  room.  George,  Bessie, 
Mrs.  Pinkerton,  and  Miss  Van  were,  I  supposed, 
in  one  of  the  other  rooms ;  I  had  lost  sight  of 
them. 

"  Old  Jenks  lost  a  cool  hundred  thousand  fight- 
ing the  tiger  at  Saratoga,  this  last  summer,"  said 
Fred.  "I  had  it  from  a  man  who  backed  him. 
Do  you  know  that  young  widow  talking  with  him 
near  the  end  of  the  piano?  No?  Why,  that's 
Mrs.  Delascelles,  and  a  devil  of  a  little  piece  she 
is, — twice  divorced  and  once  widowed,  and  she 
is  n't  a  day  over  twenty-five.  You  ought  to  know 
her.  By  the  way,  that  brother  of  yours  is  a 
whole  team,  with  a  bull-pup  under  the  wagon. 
Does  he  let  old  Pink  boss  him  around  as  she  does 
you?" 

"  It 's  a  fine  night,"  I  said. 

"  Delightful !     I  say,  Charlie,  it  must  be  a  terri- 


Mf  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


ble  bore  to  lug  the  old  woman  around  to  all  these 
shindigs  with  you,  hey?" 

M  What  do  you  think  about  the  State  election  ?  " 
I  demanded. 

"The  Republicans  have  got  a  dead  sure  thing, 
I  '11  lay  you  a  V.  She  has  bulldozed  you  till  you 
don't  dare  open  your  head,  my  boy.  Yours  is 
one  of  the  saddest  and  most  malignant  cases  of 
mother-in-law  I  ever  struck." 

"  Fred,"  I  said,  in  hopes  of  bringing  his  tirade 
to  an  end,  "your  friendship  is  slightly  oppressive. 
Confine  your  attentions  to  your  own  grievances. 
I  will  take  care  of  mine." 

w  Ah  I  at  last  you  acknowledge  that  you  have 
one.  Confess,  now,  that  old  Pink  is  a  confounded 
nuisance  !  " 

"  Well,  then,  yes,  she  is  I  Does  that  satisfy 
you,  scandal-monger?  Now,  for  Heaven's  sake, 
shut  up  I  " 

I  heard  a  brisk  rustling  of  silk  just  at  my  left 
and  a  little  back  of  where  I  sat,  and  some  one 
passed  toward  the  front  parlor. 

"By  Jove  !  "  ejaculated  Fred,  looking  intently. 
'  It  's  old  Pink  herself,  and  I  hope  she  got  the 


MISS  VAN'S  PARTY.  93 

benefit  of  what  we  said  about  her.  I  had  no 
idea  she  was  sitting  near  us." 

"What  we  said  about. her!"  I  repeated.  "I 
did  n't  say  anything  about  her." 

"Yes,  you  did.  Ha,  ha!  You  said  she  was  a 
confounded  nuisance  I " 

I  shuddered. 

"  Oh,  well,  brace  up  I  Perhaps  she  did  n't  hear 
that  impious  remark,"  said  Fred,  chuckling  ma- 
liciously. "  Or  if  she  did,  perhaps  she  '11  let  you 
off  easy :  only  a  few  hours  in  the  dark  closet, 
or  bread  and  water  for  a  day- or  two." 

"  Confound  your  mischief-making  tongue  1 "  I 
growled.  "  Here  comes  Miss  Van  Duzen  to  bid 
you  quit  spreading  scandal  about  her  guests." 

Miss  Van  Duzen,  on  the  contrary,  only  wished 
Mr.  Marston  to  secure  a  partner  for  the  Lanciers, 
which  he  promptly  did. 

I  sat  brooding  while  the  dancing  went  on,  and 
was  somewhat  astonished,  when  it  was  over,  to 
see  George  making  for  my  corner. 

"  How 's  this  ?  "  he  said.  "  Did  n't  you  go  home 
with  them?" 

"With  them?   What!    You  don't  mean  to  say— " 


94  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

"  But  I  do,  though  !  Bessie  and  mother  made 
their  adieux  half  an  hour  ago,  and  I  thought  of 
course  you  had  gone  home  with  them,  as  nothing 
was  said  to  me.  This  is  a  pretty  go  I  Bessie 
must  have  been  ill." 

"Nonsense  I"  I  exclaimed.  "I  should  have 
known  if  that  was  the  case.  Where 's  Miss  Van  ?  " 

"I  saw  her.  She  thought  it  was  odd,  but  sup- 
posed you  had  gone  with  them.  What  could  have 
started  them  off  in  that  fashion  ?  " 

"Well,  well,  don't  let's  stand  here  talking. 
Come  on." 

We  did  not  stop  for  ceremony.  Eushing  up 
stairs,  we  donned  our  hats  and  coats,  and  made 
our  way  out  to  the  sidewalk  without  losing  any 
time.  I  hailed  a  carriage,  and  we  drove  rapidly 
out  of  town.  It  was  about  half  past  one  o'clock 
when  we  arrived  home.  There  were  lights  iu  our 
room  and  in  Mrs.  Pinkerton's  chamber.  George 
followed  me  up  stairs,  and  I  tapped  at  the  door  of 
our  room. 

"Is  it  you,  Charlie?"  said  Bessie's  voice. 

K  Yes,  —  and  George." 

She  opened  the  door.     It  was  evidently  not 


MISS  VAN'S  PAETT.  95 

long  since  their  arrival  home,  for  she  had  not 
begun  to  undress. 

"Explain,  for  our  benefit,  the  new  method  of 
leaving  a  party,"  said  George,  "and  why  it  was 
deemed  necessary  to  give  us  a  scare  in  inaugurat- 
ing the  same."  He  threw  himself  into  an  easy- 
chair. 

"  Perhaps  Mr.  Travers  is  better  able  to  tell  you 
why  mother  should  have  left  in  the  way  she  did," 
said  Bessie,  trying  to  make  her  speech  sound  sar- 
castic and  cutting,  but  finding  it  a  difficult  job, 
with  her  breath  coming  and  going  so  quickly. 

"  The  deuce  he  is  !  "  roared  George.  "  Come, 
Charlie,  what  have  you  been  up  to  ?  I  must  get  it 
out  of  some  of  you." 

"I  am  utterly  unable  to  tell  you  why  youi 
mother  should  have  left  in  the  way  she  did,"  was 
all  I  could  find  to  say. 

"  Sapristi !  This  is  getting  mysterious  and 
blood-curdling.  The  latest  feuilleton  is  nothing  to 
it.  Must  I  go  to  bed  without  knowing  the  cause 
of  this  escapade  ?  Well,  so  be  it.  But  let  me 
tell  you,  young  woman,  that  it  was  n't  the  thing 
to  do.  If  you  find  your  husband  flirting  with 


96  MY   MOTHER-rN-LAW. 

some  siren,  you  must  lead  him  off  by  the  ear  next 
time,  but  don't  sulk.  Good  night." 

George  walked  out  and  shut  the  door  after  him. 

w  See  here,  Bessie,"  I  said  kindly,  "  don't  ciy, 
because  I  want  to  talk  sensibly  with  you." 

She  was  sobbing  now  in  good  earnest. 

w  I  want  you  to  tell  me  what  your  mother  said 
to  you  about  me." 

She  could  n't  talk  just  then,  poor  little  woman  ! 
But  when  she  had  had  her  cry  partly  out,  she 
told  me. 

Her  mother  had  not  told  her  a  word  of  what 
had  passed  between  Fred  Marston  and  me  I  The 
outraged  dignity  of  the  widow  would  not  admit  of 
an  explicit  account  of  the  unspeakable  insult  she 
had  received.  She  had  simply  given  Bessie  to 
understand  that  I  had  uttered  some  unpardonable, 
infamous  slander,  and  had  hustled  the  poor  girl 
breathlessly  into  a  cab  and  away,  before  she  fairly 
realized  what  had  happened. 

I  then  told  Bessie  what  our  conversation  had 
been,  and  left  her  to  judge  for  herself.  I  had  not 
the  heart  to  scold  her  for  her  part  in  the  French 
leave-taking,  though  it  made  me  feel  miserable  to 


MISS  VAN'S  PARTY.  97 

think  how  few  episodes  of  such  a  sort  might  bring 
about  endless  misunderstandings  and  heart- aches. 

Of  course  more  or  less  talk  was  caused  by  tne 
mysterious  manner  of  our  several  departures  from 
Miss  Van's  party;  and,  thanks  to  Fred  Marston 
and  his  wife  and  similar  rattle-pates,  it  became 
generally  known  that  there  was  a  skeleton  in  the 
PinkerUoi  closet. 

Miss  Van  soon  heard  how  it  came  about,  and 
nothing  could  have  afforded  a  more  complete 
proof  oi*  her  refinement  of  character  than  the  deli- 
cacy aad  tact  with  which  she  ignored  the  whole 
affair. 


98  MT   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


CHAPTER    VIII. 

ANOTHER    nHART.m!    IN    THE    FIELD. 

rpHE  winter,  with  its  petty  trials  and  conten- 
tions, had  gone  by ;  spring,  with  its  bloom  and 
fragrance,  was  far  advanced ;  and  already  another 
summer,  with  its  possible  pleasures  and  recrea- 
tions, was  close  upon  us.  Before  it  had  fairly  set 
in,  however,  an  event  of  extraordinary  importance 
was  to  occur  in  our  little  household.  There  had 
been  premonitions  of  it  for  some  time,  which  had 
a  tendency  to  soften  and  soothe  all  asperities, 
and  cause  a  rather  sober  and  subdued  air  to  per- 
vade the  little  cottage,  and  now  there  were  active 
preparations  going  on.  Of  course,  the  widow  was 
gradually  assuming  the  management  of  the  whole 
affair,  and  it  was  a  matter  in  which  I  could  hardly 
venture  to  dispute  her  right.  Her  experience  and 
knowledge  were  certainly  superior  to  mine,  and  it 
was  an  affair  hi  which  these  qualities  were  very 


ANOTHER   CHARLIE   IN   THE   FIELD.  99 

important.  In  fact,  I  seemed  to  be  counted  out 
altogether  in  the  preparations,  as  if  it  was  some- 
thing in  the  nature  of  a  surprise  party  in  my 
honor.  Mrs.  Pinkerton  had  an  air  of  mysterious 
and  exclusive  knowledge  concerning  the  grand 
event.  Miss  Van,  who  had  come  to  have  confi- 
dential relations  with  Bessie,  of  the  most  intimate 
kind,  notwithstanding  the  mother's  objections, 
knew  all  about  it,  but  had  a  queer  way  of  appear- 
ing unconscious  of  anything  unusual.  There 
seemed  to  be  a  general  consent  to  a  shallow  pre- 
tence that  I  was  in  utter  and  hopeless  ignorance. 
It  annoyed  me  a  little,  as  I  flattered  myself  that  I 
knew  quite  as  much  about  what  was  coming  as  any 
of  them,  and  I  thought  it  silly  to  make  believe  I 
didn't,  and  to  ignore  my  interest  in  the  affair. 
Bessie  had  no  secrets  from  me,  of  course,  and  our 
understanding  was  complete,  but  one  might  have 
thought  from  appearances  that  we  had  less  con- 
cern in  the  matter  than  anybody  else. 

As  the  auspicious  time  drew  near,  the  goings-on 
increased  in  mystery  and  the  widow's  control 
grew  more  and  more  complete.  Bessie  showed 
me  one  day  a  wardrobe  that  amused  me  im- 


100  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

mensely.  It  was  quite  astonishing  in  its  extent 
and  variety,  but  so  liliputian  in  the  dimensions  of 
the  separate  garments  as  to  seem  ridiculous  to 
me. 

"Are  n't  they  cunning?"  said  the  dear  girl,  hold- 
ing up  one  after  another  of  the  various  articles  of 
raiment.  Then  she  showed  me  a  basket,  marvel- 
lously constructed,  with  a  mere  skeleton  of  wicker- 
work  and  coverings  of  pink  silk  and  fine  lace,  and 
furnished  with  toilet  appliances  that  seemed  to 
belong  to  a  fairy ;  and  finally,  removing  a  big  quilt 
that  had  excited  my  curiosity,  she  showed  me  the 
most  startling  object  of  all,  —  a  cradle  !  I  had  seen 
such  things  before  and  felt  no  particular  thrill,  but 
this  had  a  strange  effect  upon  me.  I  did  n't  stop 
to  inquire  how  these  things  had  all  been  smuggled 
into  the  house  without  my  knowledge  or  consent, 
but  kissed  my  little  wife  fondly,  and  went  down 
stairs  in  a  musing  and  pensive  mood. 

The  next  day  a  decree  of  virtual  exile  was  pro- 
nounced upon  me.  My  mother-in-law  thought 
perhaps  it  would  be  better  if  I  would  occupy 
another  room  in  the  house  for  a  time,  and  let  her 
share  Bessie's  chamber.  The  poor,  dear  girl 


ANOTHER  CHARLIE  IN  THE  FIELD.        101 

might  need  her  care  at  any  time,  and  the  widow 
looked  at  me  as  much  as  to  say,  "You  cannot  be 
expected  to  know  anything  about  these  matters, 
and  have  nothing  to  do  but  obey  my  directions." 
I  consented  without  a  murmur  or  the  least  show 
of  resistance,  for  I  admitted  everything  that  could 
possibly  be  said,  and  lost  all  my  spirit  of  inde- 
pendence in  view  of  the  impressive  event  that  was 
coming.  So  I  meekly  took  to  the  attic,  and  put 
up  with  the  most  forlorn  and  desolate  quarters. 
One  or  two  mornings  after,  I  was  aroused  at  an 
inhuman  hour,  and  ordered  in  the  most  imperative 
tones  to  call  in  Dr.  Lyman  as  quickly  as  possible, 
and  haste  after  Mrs.  Sweet.  I  hurried  into  my 
clothes  in  the  utmost  agitation,  raced  down  the 
street  in  a  manner  that  led  a  watchful  policeman 
to  stop  me  and  inquire  my  business,  rung  up  the 
doctor  with  the  most  unbecoming  violence,  and 
delivered  my  errand  up  a  speaking-tube,  in  answer 
to  his  muffled,  "What's  wanted?"  Then  I 
rushed  to  the  neighboring  stable,  and  got  up  the 
sleepy  hostler  with  as  much  vehemence  in  my 
manner  as  if  he  were  in  danger  of  being  burned 
to  death,  and  induced  him  to  harness  a  team, 


102  MT  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

in  what  I  considered  about  twice  the  necessary 
length  of  time ;  drove  three  miles  in  the  morning 
twilight  for  Mrs.  Sweet,  a  motherly  old  maid  in 
the  nursing  business,  who  had  officiated  at  Bes- 
sie's own  debut  upon  the  stage  of  life.  When  I 
had  got  back  and  returned  the  team  to  the  stable, 
and  was  walking  about  the  lower  rooms  in  a  rest- 
less manner,  feeling  as  if  I  had  suddenly  become 
a  hopeless  outcast,  the  doctor  came  down  stairs, 
and  said,  with  amazing  calmness,  as  though  it 
was  the  most  commonplace  thing  in  the  world,  — 

w  Getting  on  nicely.  Fine  boy,  sir !  Mrs.  Trav- 
ers  is  quite  comfortable.  "Will  look  in  again  in 
the  course  of  the  morning." 

Then  I  was  left  alone  again,  an  outcast  and  a 
wanderer  in  my  own  home.  All  the  life  was  up 
stairs,  including  the  wee  bit  of  new  life  that  had 
come  to  venture  upon  the  perils  and  vicissitudes 
of  the  great  world.  It  was  two  hours,  but  it 
seemed  a  month,  before  any  one  relieved  my  soli- 
tude, and  then  it  was  at  Bessie's  interposition  —  in 
fact,  a  command  that  she  had  to  insist  upon  until 
her  mother  was  afraid  of  her  getting  excited  —  that 
I  was  admitted  to  behold  the  mysteries  above. 


ANOTHER   CHARLIE   IN   THE   FIELD. 


Well,  it  is  nobody's  business  about  the  par- 
ticulars of  that  chamber.  It  was  too  sacred  for 
description  ;  but  there  was  the  tiny,  quivering, 
red  new-comer,  already  dressed  in  some  of  the 
dainty  liliputian  garments,  and  very  much  aston- 
ished and  not  altogether  pleased  at  the  effect. 
Bessie  was  proud  and  happy,  the  nurse,  moving 
about  silently,  knew  just  what  to  do  and  how  to  do 
it,  and  the  mother-in-law  held  supreme  command. 
She  was  grand  and  severe,  and  evidently  her  wishes 
had  been  disregarded  hi  respect  to  the  sex  of 
her  grandchild.  She  feared  the  consequences  of 
another  Charlie  launched  into  a  world  already  too 
degenerate,  and  she  had  hoped  for  an  addition  to 
the  superior  sex.  But  Bessie  and  I  were  mightily 
pleased  that  it  was  a  boy. 

There  was  little  to  be  said  then,  but  in  a  few 
days  the  restraint  began  to  be  relaxed,  and  discus- 
sions arose  about  what  had  become  the  most  im- 
portant member  of  the  household.  Even  the 
widow  must  be  content  with  the  second  place 
now,  but  I  began  to  have  misgivings  lest  my 
position  had  been  permanently  fixed  as  the  third. 
In  my  secret  mind,  however,  I  determined  to 


104  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

assert  my  rights  as  soon  as  Bessie  was  strong 
again,  and  reduce  my  mother-in-law  to  the  position 
in  which  she  belonged.  I  had  put  off  doing  it  too 
long,  and  advantage  might  be  taken  of  the  present 
juncture  of  affairs  to  strengthen  her  claim  to 
supremacy,  and  it  really  would  n't  do  to  delay 
much  longer. 

KI  think  he  looks  just  like  Charlie,"  said  ./Jessie 
to  Miss  Van,  the  first  time  the  latter  calif  J  after 
the  great  event. 

"Well,  I  don't  know,"  was  the  ivply  "It 
seems  to  me  he  has  his  papa's  dark  eyes,  bat  I 
can't  see  any  other  resemblance." 

"  Oh,  I  do  I "  Bessie  replied  with  spirit.  "  Why, 
it  is  just  his  forehead  and  mouth,  and  Lij  hur  trill 
be  just  the  same  beautiful  brown  when  he  grows 
up." 

The  old  lady  was  looking  on  reproachfully ,  ^nd 
finally  said,  "  Bessie,  my  dear,  that  child  looks 
precisely  like  your  own  family.  George  at  his 
age  was  just  such  an  infant;  you  couldn't  tell 
them  apart." 

George  eutered  the  room  at  that  moment,  and 
with  his  boisterous  laugh  said,  "  You  don't  mean 


ANOTHER   CHARLIE   IN   THE   FIELD.  105 

to  say  that  I  was  ever  such  a  little,  soft,  ridiculous 
lump  of  humanity  as  that,  do  you  ?  " 

"As  like  as  two  peas,"  was  the  reply  of  his 
mother. 

For  my  part  I  kept  out  of  the  discussion,  for  I 
must  confess  I  could  see  no  resemblance  between 
the  precious  baby  and  any  other  mortal  creature, 
except  another  baby  of  the  same  age.  I  thought 
they  looked  pretty  much  all  alike,  and  was  not 
prepared  to  deny  that  it  was  the  exact  counter- 
part of  anybody  at  that  particular  stage  of  devel- 
opment. 

"  I  tell  you  what,  Bess,"  said  George,  after  the 
debate  had  fully  subsided,  "you  must  name  that 
little  chap  for  me." 

"  Oh,  no,"  replied  the  proud  mother,  "  that  is 
all  settled  ;  his  name  is  Charlie." 

Nothing  had  been  said  on  the  subject  before, 
and  I  was  a  little  startled  at  Bessie's  positive  man- 
ner, for  I  thought  even  this  matter  would  not  be 
free  from  her  mother's  dictation.  The  old  lady 
seemed  surprised  and  vexed.  "  George  is  a  much 
better  name,  I  think,"  she  said  very  quietly,  keep- 
ing down  her  vexation,  "but  I  thought  perhaps 


106  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

you  might  remember  your  dear  father  in  this 
matter.  His  name,  you  know,  was  Benjamin." 

"  Yes,  1  know,"  said  Bessie,  very  firmly,  "but  I 
think  there  is  one  with  a  still  higher  claim,  and 
the  child's  name  is  Charles." 

"  Good  for  you,  little  girl ! "  I  thought,  but  I 
said  nothing.  Within  me  I  felt  a  gleeful  satisfac- 
tion at  Bessie's  spirit,  which  showed  that  if  it  ever 
came  to  a  sharp  contest  with  her  mother,  nothing 
could  keep  her  from  holding  her  own  place  by 
her  husband's  side.  All  my  misgivings  about 
her  possible  estrangement  by  her  mother's  in- 
fluence vanished,  and  I  saw  that  the  new  tie 
between  us  would  be  stronger  than  any  earthly 
power. 

"Well,"  said  George  abruptly,  after  a  pause,  "I 
would  n't  be  so  disobliging  about  a  little  thing  like 
that." 

"  Ah  I  you  wait  until  you  can  afford  the  oppor- 
tunity of  furnishing  names,  and  see  what  you  will 
do,"  I  said  jokingly.  My  joke  was  not  generally 
appreciated.  The  widow  gave  me  a  look  a  little 
short  of  savage.  Bessie  suppressed  a  smile,  in 
order  to  give  me  a  reproof  with  her  eyes,  and 


ANOTHER   CHARLIE   IN   THE    FIELD.  107 

Miss  Van  just  then  thought  of  something  wholly 
irrelevant  to  say,  as  if  she  had  not  noticed  my 
remark  at  all.  On  the  whole,  I  was  made  to  feel 
that  it  was  a  disgraceful  failure. 


108  MY  MOTHEB-IN-LAW. 


CHAPTER    IX. 

THE    SHADOW   ON  OUR    LIFE. 

A  NOTHER  summer  with  all  its  glory  was  upon 
us.  It  was  nearly  a  year  since  we  were  mar- 
ried, and  I  was  beginning  to  feel  the  dignity  of 
a  family  man.  As  Bessie  regained  her  strength 
and  bloom,  she  seemed  to  have, a  matronly  grace 
and  self-command  quite  new  to  her.  As  I  looked 
back  over  our  married  life  I  saw  no  dark  shad- 
ows, no  coldness  between  us  two,  no  misunder- 
standings that  need  occasion  regret,  but  somehow 
it  seemed  as  though  that  year  had  not  been  so 
bright  and  hap^y  as  it  ought  to  have  been.  We 
had  lived  under  an  irksome  restraint  that  was 
depressing.  I  had  felt  it  more  than  Bessie,  for 
she  had  been  accustomed  to  submit  to  her  mother, 
and  did  not  chafe,  but  she  plainly  saw  that  my 
life  had  not  that  blithesomeness  that  would  have 
been  natural  to  me,  and  which  she  would  have 
been  glad  to  give  it- 


THE   SHADOW  ON  OUR  LIFE.  109 

It  was  the  presence  and  influence  of  the  mother- 
in-law  that  gave  a  chill  to  my  home  life,  and  yet  I 
could  accuse  the  good  woman  of  no  special  offence. 
She  was  no  vulgar  meddler,  and  never  wished  or 
intended  to  mar  our  domestic  felicity.  She  had 
managed  to  keep  control  of  our  household  arrange- 
ments and  we  had  passively  acquiesced,  but  I  felt 
that  it  would  be  better  if  Bessie  would  take  com- 
mand and  cater  more  to  our  own  desires.  We 
could  then  have  things  our  9wn  way,  and  her 
position  would  be  more  becoming  as  the  lady  of 
the  house.  She  began  to  regard  it  in  the  same 
light  herself.  Our  social  life,  too,  had  been  re- 
strained and  restricted.  I  was  very  fond  of  hav- 
ing my  friends  about  me,  and  wished  them  to  come 
in  for  the  evening  or  to  dinner  or  to  pass  a  Sunday 
afternoon  in  our  little  bower,  as  often  as  they 
could  find  it  agreeable.  Mrs.  Piukerton  made  no 
open  objections,  but  I  knew  the  company  of  my 
friends  was  not  congenial  to  her,  and  so  was  reluc- 
tant and  backward  in  my  invitations  to  them. 
Besides,  they  were  apt  to  be  chilled  and  discon- 
certed by  the  widow's  stately  presence  and  rebuk- 
ing ways,  and  were  disinclined  to  make  them- 


110  MY   MOTHER-EN-LAW. 

selves  quite  at  home  with  us.  Fred  Marston  and 
his  wife  had  been  quite  driven  away.  Mrs.  Piiik- 
erton  had  declined  to  speak  to  the  latter,  and 
had  told  the  former  in  plain  terms  that  he  used 
language  of  which  no  gentleman  would  be  guilty. 

"  By  thunder  1"  roared  the  impulsive  fellow,  "I  '11 
have  you  to  understand  that  my  wife  and  I  are 
just  as  good  as  you,  with  your  cursed  airs  of  supe- 
riority !  "  and  he  stormed  out  of  doors,  and  inconti- 
nently returned  to  town.  When  I  met  him  after^ 
wards  he  condescendingly  declared  that  he  did  n't 
blame  me,  except  that  I  ought  to  be  a  man  and  not 
allow  "  old  Pink  "  to  insult  my  guests.  I  did  not 
particularly  regret  his  discontinuing  his  visits,  for, 
to  tell  the  truth,  I  did  not  like  his  manners,  and 
he  had  drifted  into  a  circle  and  among  associates 
not  at  all  to  my  taste,  but  it  galled  me  to  have 
any  one  whom  I  chose  to  entertain  driven  out  of 
my  house. 

I  think  nothing  saved  our  charming  friend,  Miss 
Van  Duzen,  to  whom  we  had  both  become  greatly 
attached,  from  being  gracefully  snubbed  and  in- 
sulted, except  the  presence  of  her  uncle,  whenever 
she  came  out  to  visit  us  in  the  evening.  Mr.  Des- 


THE   SHADOW  ON   OUR  LIFE.  Ill 

mond's  indisputable  social  rank,  his  unimpeacha 
ble  demeanor  as  a  gentleman,  and  the  dignity  and 
impressiveness  of  his  presence,  though  it  could  by 
no  means  overawe  my  mother-in-law,  made  it  im- 
possible even  for  her  to  give  him  an  affront. 
Besides,  she  seemed  to  have  a  real  respect  for 
that  fine  old  gentleman.  She  would  doubtless 
have  thought  better  of  him  if  he  had  been  a  regu- 
lar attendant  at  St.  Thomas's  Church,  but  she  could 
not  learn  that  he  was  very  constant  at  any  sanc- 
tuary. His  views  were  decidedly  what  are  called 
liberal,  and  yet  he  was  very  considerate  of  the  re- 
ligious beliefs  and  practices  of  others,  and  would 
cheerfully  acknowledge  the  worthy  aims  and  good 
works  of  all  the  different  Christian  denominations. 
He  seemed  to  understand  why  other  persons  should 
choose  to  join  one  or  another,  while  he  preferred 
to  stand  aloof,  have  his  own  ways  of  thinking,  and 
do  whatever  good  he  might  in  his  own  way.  He 
had  large  business  interests  and  great  wealth,  and 
though  he  maintained  his  mansion  in  the  city  in 
great  elegance,  his  family  expenses  were  compara- 
tively small,  and  he  was  reputed  to  make  it  up 
fully  by  supporting  more  than  one  poor  family  in 


112  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

a  quiet  way.  He  was  liberal  in  his  conduct  as 
well  as  his  belief,  and  his  character  and  habits 
were  above  the  reproach  of  the  severest  critic. 
Hence  it  was  that  the  widow  was  forced  to  respect 
at  least  this  one  of  our  visitors,  and  to  treat  his 
niece  with  common  civility,  though  cordiality  was 
out  of  the  question. 

In  fact,  we  owed  to  Mr.  Desmond  not  a  little 
for  what  relief  we  obtained  in  our  social  life 
from  the  chilling  restraints  of  the  mother-in-law's 
presence.  Ho  seemed  to  take  a  real  pleasure  in 
coming  out  to  our  little  snuggery.  His  stately 
establishment  in  town  could  not  be  very  home- 
like. His  niece  presided  over  it  with  great  skill, 
and  saw  that  every  wish  or  taste  of  his  was  grat- 
ified. She  could  always  entertain  him  with  her 
sprightly  wit,  and  their  social  occasions  were 
among  the  most  elegant  in  the  city.  He  had  his 
club  to  go  to,  which  furnished  every  means  that 
xngenuity  and  lavish  resources  could  contrive  to 
minister  to  the  pleasures  of  man.  And  yet,  there 
svas  wanting  to  his  life  that  element  that  was 
the  essence  of  home.  He  had  longed  for  it  when 
he  was  young,  and  had  provided  for  it  in  his 


THE    SHADOW  ON  OUR  LIFE. 


household;  but  the  wife  of  his  youth  had  been 
called  from  him  early,  and  he  had  vainly  tried  to 
fill  all  his  life  with  business,  with  silent  works  of 
charity,  with  elegance  and  profusion  in  his  house, 
with  his  clubs,  his  studies,  and  his  travels  ;  but 
still  there  was  a  void,  and  when  he  came  to  visit 
us,  he  seemed  to  find  something  akin  to  the  home 
feeling  in  our  little  circle.  So  he  came  far  oftener 
than  was  to  be  expected  of  one  in  his  position. 
Clara  was  his  excuse,  but  it  was  plain  to  see  that 
he  liked  to  come  on  his  own  account,  and  he  made 
himself  very  agreeable  to  us  all  ;  and  when  he 
came,  we  noticed  the  chilling  influence  of  Mrs. 
Pinkerton  much  less  than  when  he  was  not  there. 
Sometimes  we  had  a  whist  party.  It  was 
generally  Bessie  and  I  against  Clara  and  George, 
but  the  widow  had  no  objection  to  whist  and  was 
occasionally  induced  to  take  a  hand,  while  Mr. 
Desmond  was  quite  fond  of  the  game  and  was  a 
consummate  player.  When  we  young  people 
made  up  the  set,  Mr.  Desmond  would  converse 
with  the  widow,  for  though  reticent  where  polite- 
ness did  not  call  upon  him  to  talk,  he  was  inca- 
pable of  the  rudeness  of  sitting  silent  with  one 
8 


114  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

other  person,  or  in  a  small  party  of  intimate 
friends;  and  these  conversations,  showing  his 
wide  information  on  all  manner  of  subjects,  his 
sympathy  with  all  charitable  movements,  and  his 
tolerant  regard  even  for  the  widow's  pet  ideas 
on  church  and  society,  evidently  increased  her 
respect  for  him.  . 

George  must  not  be  forgotten  as  a  member  of 
our  circle,  and  never  can  be  by  those  who  were  in 
it.  His  vivacity  did  much  to  relieve  us  from  the 
depression  that  brooded  over  us.  He  and  Clara 
Van,  as  he  had  taken  to  calling  her  as  a  sort  of 
play  upon  caravan,  —  for  was  she  not  a  whole 
team  in  herself?  he  would  say,  —  he  and  Clara  had 
many  a  lively  contest  of  words,  and  were  well 
matched  in  their  powers  of  wit  and  repartee. 

Thus  there  were  lights  as  well  as  shades, 
relief  as  well  as  depression,  in  our  social  life,  but 
over  it  all  was  a  shadow,  the  shadow  of  my 
mother-in-law. 


MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW   SUBDUED.  l!5 


CHAPTER    X. 

MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW   SUBDUED. 

A  S  I  was  saying,  I  made  up  my  mind  that  our 
happiness  was  marred  by  habitual  submis- 
sion to  mother-in-law,  and  I  determined  to  shake 
off  the  nightmare,  to  assert  myself,  and  to  reduce 
that  stately  crown  of  gray  puffs  to  a  subordinate 
place.  How  was  I  to  do  it?  There  was  nothing 
that  I  could  make  the  cause  of  direct  complaint, 
and  it  was  hard  to  get  into  a  downright  conflict 
which  would  involve  plain  speaking.  I  consulted 
with  Bessie,  and  she  agreed  with  me,  and  promised 
to  assume  the  direction  of  household  affairs.  She 
did  not  like  to  hurt  her  mother's  feelings,  but  she 
admitted  that  it  was  best  for  her  to  be  mistress. 
I  could  but  admire  the  matronly  firmness  and  tact 
with  which  she  played  her  part.  She  gave  her 
orders  and  told  her  mother  what  she  proposed  to 
do,  and  then  proceeded  to  execute  it  as  if  there 


1 16  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

was  no  room  for  question.  If  opposition  was 
made,  she  very  quietly  and  firmly  insisted.  Her 
mother  was  astonished  and  had  some  warm  words, 
in  which  she  accused  me  of  trying  to  set  her 
daughter  against  her. 

"Oh,  no,"  said  Bessie,  w  Charlie  does  not  wish  to 
set  me  against  you  or  to  have  you  made  unhappy, 
but  he  thinks  it  better  that  I  should  be  the  mis- 
tress here,  and  I  quite  agree  with  him,  and  pro- 
pose henceforth  to  be  the  mistress." 

The  widow  was  not  offended,  but  hurt.  She 
had  too  much  good  sense  not  to  see  the  propriety 
af  our  decision,  and  she  surrendered  and  tried 
not  to  appear  affected. 

This  was  the  first  victory.  Another  time,  at 
the  table,  she  had  exercised  her  prescriptive  right 
of  extinguishing  me  for  some  remark  of  which  she 
did  not  approve.  I  fired  up  and  remarked,  "I 
have  the  right  to  speak  my  own  opinion  in  my 
own  house,  Mrs.  Pinkerton." 

"  Certainly  you  have  a  right  to  speak  your  own 
opinion  in  your  own  house,"  she  replied,  with 
the  least  little  sarcastic  emphasis  on  "your  own 
house,"  which  cut  me  to  the  quick. 


MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW   SUBDUED.  117 

"But  you  don't  seem  to  think  so,"  I  said. 
"  You  have  had  a  way  of  snubbing  me  and  put- 
ting me  down  which  I  don't  propose  to  tolerate 
any  longer.  I  am  master  of  my  own  conduct  and 
of  my  own  household,  and  I  hope,  in  future,  that 
my  liberty  may  not  be  interfered  with." 

The  widow's  lip  quivered,  her  great  eyes  mois- 
tened, and  she  left  the  table,  not  because  she  was 
offended,  but  to  hide  her  injured  feelings.  I  felt 
mean,  and  would  have  apologized,  but  that  I  felt 
that  my  cause  was  at  stake.  There  was  no  after- 
explanation.  My  mother-in-law  came  and  went 
about  the  house  as  usual,  calm  and  polite.  A  silly 
woman  would  have  refused  to  speak  to  me  for 
some  weeks ;  but  she  was  not  a  silly  woman,  and 
took  pains  to  speak  with  the  must  studied  polite- 
ness, and  to  avoid  offence.  Here,  too,  she  had 
evidently  surrendered. 

This  was  victory  number  two.  One  more  and 
the  battle  was  won.  It  was  a  Sunday  in  June. 
I  had  especially  invited  Mr.  Desmond  and  his 
niece  to  come  out  to  dinner  and  to  spend  the 
afternoon,  and  had  insisted  to  Fred  Marston 
that  he  should  come  with  his  wife.  I  wanted  to 


118  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

vindicate  my  right  to  have  what  friends  I  pleased, 
and  then  I  did  n't  care  overmuch  if  I  never  saw 
him  again.  Mrs.  Pinkerton  had  gone  to  church 
alone  as  usual.  For  some  weeks  Bessie  had  been 
unable  to  accompany  her,  and  I  preferred  the 
sanctuary  at  which  the  scholarly,  but  heterodox, 
Mr.  Freeman  preached.  When  she  returned,  our 
guests  had  arrived.  She  put  on  her  eye-glasses 
as  she  entered  the  gate,  and  looked  about  with 
evident  disapproval,  as  we  were  scattered  over  the 
lawn.  She  did  not  believe  in  Sunday  visits.  She 
was  even  stiff  and  distant  to  Mr.  Desmond,  and 
refused  to  see  the  Marstons  at  all,  though  they 
were  directly  before  her  eyes.  She  walked 
straight  into  the  house. 

"By  Jove,"  said  George  to  me  in  an  undertone, 
"  that  is  n't  right !  I  shall  speak  to  mother  about 
cutting  your  guests  in  that  way." 

"Never  mind,"  I  replied,  "don't  you  say  a 
word  ;  I  want  an  opportunity." 

He  saw  it  in  a  minute,  and  acquiesced  with  a 
queer  smile.  He  fully  sympathized  with  me,  and 
had  even  encouraged  me  in  the  work  of  emancipa- 
tion. He  had  the  utmost  respect  and  affection  for 


MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW   SUBDUED.  119 

his  mother,  but  he  said  it  was  not  right  for  her  to 
make  my  home  unpleasant. 

That  Sunday  Mrs.  Pinkerton  joined  us  at  tho 
dinner-table.  I  knew  she  would  not  be  guilty  of 
the  incivility  of  staying  away. 

w  You  remember  my  friends,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Mars 
ton?"  I  said,  by  way  of  introduction,  as  she  came 
in. 

"I  remember  them  very  well,"  was  the  reply; 
wtoo  well,"  the  tone  implied.  I  made  a  special 
effort  to  be  talkative,  and  to  keep  others  talking 
during  the  dinner.  It  was  very  hard  work,  and 
I  met  with  indifferent  success.  It  was  not  a  pleas- 
ant dinner.  Mr.  Desmond  alone  appeared  not  to 
mind  the  restraint,  and  he  alone  ventured  to 
address  the  widow.  She  was  polite,  but  far  from 
sociable.  We  contrived  to  pass  the  afternoon 
tolerably,  but  not  at  all  in  the  spirit  which  I 
wished  to  have  prevail  when  I  had  friends  to  visit 
me,  and  all  because  of  that  presence. 

After  they  were  gone,  I  took  occasion  to  intro- 
duce the  subject,  for  I  had  learned  that  Mrs. 
Pinkerton's  skill  in  expressing  her  disapproval  in 
her  manner  was  so  great  that  she  relied  on  it 


120  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

almost  iltogether,  and  rarely  resorted  to  words 
for  the  purpose. 

"I  am  afraid  you  did  not  enjoy  the  company 
very  much  to-day,"  I  said,  as  we  were  sitting  in 
the  little  parlor,  overlooking  an  exquisite  flower 
garden. 

w  No,  sir,"  she  answered,  with  the  old  emphasis 
on  the  "sir."  w  I  do  not  approve  of  company  on 
the  Sabbath,  and'  I  had  hoped  you  would  never 
again  bring  those  Marstons  into  my  presence  at 
any  time." 

w  Excuse  me,  madam ;  but  I  propose  to  be  my 
own  judge  of  whom  I  shall  invite  to  visit  me,  and 
of  the  time  and  occasion.  I  presume  you  admit 
njy  right  to  do  so." 

"  Certainly,  sir.  I  never  disputed  it,  and  had 
no  intention  of  saying  anything  if  you  had  not 
introduced  the  subject." 

"  I  introduced  the  subject  for  the  very  purpose ; 
in  fact,  I  brought  out  the  company  for  the  very 
purpose  of  vindicating  my  right,  and  it  would  be 
very  gratifying  to  me  if  you  would  concede  it 
cheerfully,  and  not,  by  your  manner  and  way  of 
treating  my  friends,  interfere  with  it  hereafter." 


MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW   SUBDUED.  121 

I  was  almost  astonished  at  my  own  courage 
and  spirit,  and  still  more  so  at  Mrs.  Piukerton's 
reply.  It  was  dusky  and  1  could  not  see  her  face, 
but  her  voice  trembled  and  choked  as  she  an- 
swered, — 

"  God  knows  I  do  not  wish  to  interfere  with 
your  happiness.  Bessie's  happiness  has  been  my 
one  thought  for  years,  and  now  it  is  bound  up 
with  yours.  I  have  my  own  notions,  which  I  can- 
not easily  discard,  but  I  would  not  do  or  say  any- 
thing that  would  mar  your  enjoyment  lor  the 
world.  I  have  long  felt  that  I  did  do  so,  and 
have  made  up  my  mind  to  make  any  sacrifice  ol 
pride  and  inclination  to  avoid  it." 

Here  she  actually  broke  down  and  sobbed,  and 
I  was  very  near  joining  her.  "Never  mind,"  I 
said  at  length,  quite  softened  ;  "  I  guess  we  shall 
get  along  pleasantly  together  in  the  future,  now 
that  we  have  an  understanding." 

WI  hope  so,"  she  said,  recovering  her  serenity, 
and  we  relapsed  into  a  painful  silence. 

This  was  the  third  and  final  victory,  but  I  felt 
no  elation  over  it.  My  mother-  in-law  receded 
somewhat  into  the  background,  but  it  was  so  much 


122  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

in  sorrow,  rather  than  anger,  that  I  felt  her  new 
mood  almost  as  depressing  as  the  old.  I  did  n't 
want  her  to  feel  injured  or  subdued,  but  evident- 
ly she  couldn't  help  it,  and  the  mother-in-law, 
though  conquered,  was  herself  still,  and  that  con- 
geniality that  would  make  our  life  together  wholly 
pleasant  was  impossible.  Her  existence  was  still 
a  shadow,  less  chilling  and  more  pensive,  but  a 
shadow  in  our  home,  and  it  seemed  destined  to 
stay  there. 


GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE.     123 


CHAPTER   XL 

GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE. 

EORGE  is  growing  v#ry  restless.  I  don't 
know  what  ails  him,"  Bessie  said  to  me. 

w  I  can  guess,"  I  said,  looking  wise. 

"What  is  it?" 

"  Do  you  remember  what  an  uneasy,  good-for- 
nothing  chap  one  Charlie  Travers  was,  when  he 
first  began  to  call  on  a  certain  young  woman  with 
conspicuous  regularity  ?  " 

w  O  Charlie,  you  don't  think  he  —  " 

M  No,  no  !  Now  don't  explode  too  suddenly. 
I  would  n't  have  him  know  that  I  suspect  anything 
for  the  world.  We  won't  name  any  names,  but  I 
keep  my  eyes  about  me,  and  I  flatter  myself  I 
know  the  symptoms." 

And  with  these  mysterious  words,  I  started  foi 
the  bank,  leaving  to  Bessie  a  new  and  delightful 
subject  for  speculation  and  air-castle  building. 


124  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

George  did  not  come  home  to  supper  that 
but  that  was  nothing  extraordinary.  I  was  sitting 
out  on  the  porch,  smoking  after  the  meal,  and 
saw  him  coming  up  the  street. 

"  Where  have  you  been  ?  "  I  asked,  as  he  joined 
me  and  took  a  seat. 

"  None  of  your  business.     In  town." 

"  Is  Miss  Van  well?"  I  asked  mischievously. 

"  How  should  I  know?" 

"  Come,  George,  you  don't  play  the  part  of 
Innocence  over  well.  Suppose  you  try  Candor, 
and  tell  me  where  you  have  been." 

"You  mistake  my  identity.  I'm  not  your 
baby.  You  will  find  the  youthful  Charlie  enter- 
taining his  mother  up  stairs." 

A  long-drawn-out,  agonized  wail,  proceeding 
from  the  regions  above,  showed  how  Bessie  was 
being  entertained. 

"No  opening  yet?"  I  ventured  to  ask,  changing 
the  subject. 

"Not  the  slightest  prospect.  If  some  of  these 
doctors  could  only  be  inveigled  into  taking  some 
of  their  own  prescriptions  !  But  no  ;  they  are  too 
wise." 


GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE.  125 

"The  bitterness  of  your  tone  would  seem  to 
indicate  that  you  have  not  enjoyed  your  visit  to 
the  town." 

"  The  town  be  hanged,  and  the  country  too  I 
Let 's  take  a  walk  down  the  street.  Give  me  a 
cigar,  confound  you  !  How  hot  it  is  !  " 

We  strolled  down  the  street. 

"This  is  a  terrible  vale  of  tears,  this  world," 
said  I.     "The  world  is  hollow,   and  my  doll  is 
stuffed  with  sawdust,  which  accounts  for  his  howl 
ing." 

George  was  silent.  He  pulled  at  his  cigar  fero- 
ciously, smoked  it  half  up,  threw  it  away,  and 
replaced  it  by  a  cigarette. 

"When  a  man  throws  away  the  best  part  of 
a  Rcina  Victoria  he  is  either  flush  or  badly  in 
love,"  said  I  to  myself.  I  waited  patiently  for 
him  to  speak,  as  I  was  perfectly  willing  to 
receive  his  confidence,  but  I  did  n't  have  the 
chance.  He  maintained  a  loud  silence  all  the 
way,  and  we  walked  back  home  as  we  had  gone 
out. 

"Something's  up — something  serious,"  I  in- 
formed Bessie  that  night,  "  but  George  does  not 


126  MY  MOtHER-IN-LAW. 

confide  in  me  worth  a  cent,  which  I  think  is  a  lit- 
tle imbrotherly." 

The  following  day  George  was  absent  from  an 
early  hour  in  the  afternoon  till  long  after  all  the 
household  were  fast  asleep  at  uight.  I  was  awak- 
ened at  about  midnight  by  a  light  tapping  at  the 
door  of  our  room,  and  slipped  out  of  bed  without 
disturbing  Bessie  or  the  baby. 

"Come  up  to  my  den  1 "  whispered  George,  as 
I  opened  the  door.  "  Don't  wa'^e  the  others." 

I  quietly  got  into  my  clothes  ynd  crawled  noise- 
lessly up  to  George's  "  den,"  devoured  by  curiosity. 
The  moment  I  caught  sight  of  his  handsome  face 
I  saw  that  it  was  all  right  with  him,  and  that  he 
had  nothing  but  good  news  to  tell  me.  We  sat 
down,  hoisted  our  heels  to  a  comfortable  altitude, 
and  George  told  his  story.  I  let  him  tell  it  him- 
self here  :  — 

"  I  was  feeling  terribly  blue  yesterday,  when 
you  saw  me,"  he  began,  "as  you  could  see.  In 
the  afternoon  I  went  into  town,  and,  according  to 
a  previous  arrangement,  hired  a  horse  and  buggy 
and  called  to  take  her  out  riding." 

(Of  course  "her"  was  Miss  Van.) 


GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE.  127 

"  We  had  agreed  to  take  the  old  Lin  wood  road, 
and  follow  it  to  the  village,  returning  through  the 
Maplewood  Park  and  so  getting  back  to  the  city 
at  about  six.  We  left  the  town  and  passed 
through  the  suburbs  rapidly,  until  we  struck  into 
the  country,  and  there  I  let  the  horse  go  his  own 
pace,  which  was  slow.  So  much  the  better. 
Miss  Van  Duzen  was  never  more  charming.  We 
had  the  most  agreeable  bit  of  talk,  and  she  drew 
me  out  till  I  amazed  myself.  She  always  does. 
It's  no  use  my  telling  you,  Charlie,  but  I  have 
been  a  fool  in  my  love  for  her  ever  since  the  night 
she  came  into  this  cottage  like  a  stray  beam  of 
sunshine  on  a  cloudy  day.  My  heart  went  out  of 
my  keeping  the  night  she  called  here  with  the  old 
gentleman.  I  believe  it  was  her  freshness,  her 
moral  purity,  that  acted  on  my  morbid,  half  blast 
spirit,  like  a  tonic,  and  brought  me  on  my  feet. 
I  'm  talking  random  nonsense,  you  say,  but  why 
shouldn't  I?  I'm  drunk  with  love.  Don't  laugh 
at  me.  I'll  be  all  right  by  daylight,  except  a 
headache.  We  got  to  talking  about  ourselves. 
Lovers  always  do,  don't  they?  You  ought  to 
know.  There  does  n't  seem  to  be  much  else  in 


128  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

the  world  worth  talking  about.  I  told  her  all 
about  myself,  —  my  past,  with  its  good  and  bad 
points,  and  my  present  hopes  and  purposes.  It 
all  popped  out  as  naturally  as  possible.  I  sup- 
pose it  would  sound  like  drivel  if  I  were  to 
repeat  it.  Finally  she  began  to  laugh. 

*  It  is  dangerous  to  make  a  woman  your  confi 
dant,'  she  said.     '  How  do  you  know  that  I  can 
keep  a  secret  better  than  any  other  of  my  sex? 
; '  I  am  not  afraid  on  that  score,'  said  I.     '  This 
is  my  confessional.     It  is  as  sacred  as  any.     Am 
I  to  receive  absolution  ? ' 

"  She  could  not  fully  promise  that.  She  read 
me  a  neat  little  lecture.  It  was  fascinating  to 
thus  receive  correction  at  her  hands.  I  pledged 
myself,  when  it  was  done,  to  follow  the  course 
laid  out  for  me.  Then  I  made  bold  to  exchange 
roles.  With  some  maidenly  hesitation,  which 
soon  vanished,  she  in  turn  laid  before  me  the 
inner  history  of  her  life.  Ah,  my  boy,  how  little 
there  was  in  it  to  gloss  over !  how  much  to  humil- 
iate the  best  and  noblest  of  us  men  !  It  was  a 
revelation  that  made  me  prostrate  myself  before 
her.  I  was  not  worthy  to  hear  it." 


GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE.  129 

George  paused,  and  drummed  on  the  table  with 
his  fingers  nervously. 

"  I  may  as  well  tell  you  all,"  he  resumed.  "  I 
had  resolved  to  ask  that  girl  to  marry  me  when 
we  started  on  our  ride,  but  after  what  she  said  to 
me  so  simply  and  modestly,  I  positively  could  not 
do  it.  She  expected  me  to  speak,  I  know  that, 
for  she  would  not  have  told  me  what  she  did  tell 
me,  otherwise." 

"  So  you  did  n't  speak  ?  Oh,  stupid,  stupid 
boy  I" 

"I  know  it.  But  my  tongue  was  tied.  Per- 
haps it  was  all  cowardice ;  I  can't  say.  I  never 
was  afraid  of  any  one  before.  I  came  home 
utterly  shattered  and  down-hearted.  To-day  I 
gravitated  back  to  her,  after  a  sleepless  night. 
She  received  me  with  the  same  friendly  smile  as 
usual,  but  there  seemed  to  be  a  slight  shadow 
over  her  spirits.  That  little,  almost  imperceptible 
change  filled  me  with  joy.  I  jumped  to  a  con- 
clusion that  intoxicated  me,  and  made  the  plunge 
at  once. 

"It  is  another  case  of  the  moth  and  the  can- 
dle,' I  said  to  her. 


130  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

" '  Thank  you.  So  I  am  a  candle  ?  That  is  a 
fine  figure  of  speech.' 

"'Seriously  speaking,  I  think  we  had  not  fin- 
ished what  we  were  talking  of  yesterday.' 

"  '  What  were  we  talking  of  yesterday  ? '  she 
had  the  effrontery  to  ask.  '  Oh,  yes,  now  I  recol- 
lect. It  was  yourself.  That  subject,  I  fear,  you 
will  never  finish  talking  of.' 

' '  Now  that 's  a  very  mean  speech,  all  things 
considered,'  I  whined.  'Do  you  want  to  strike  a 
man,  when  he  's  way  down  ? ' 

' '  Don't  play  Uriah  Heep.  I  hate  'umble  peo- 
ple. But  if  I  have  perchance  pierced  the  thick 
epidermis  of  Parisian  pride  you  have  so  long 
worn,  I'm  glad  of  it.' 

K  She  likes  to  abuse  me,  and  I  enjoy  it  quite  as 
well  as  she.  She  continued  to  scold  me  and  mock 
me  for  some  time,  to  disguise  her  actual  mood. 
I  saw  through  it,,  and  let  her  have  her  way  foi 
a  while.  The  meeker  my  replies,  the  greater  the 
exaggerated  harshness  of  her  criticisms.  At  last 
I  no  longer  attempted  to  reply  at  all.  Leaning 
back  in  a  corner  of  the  sofa,  I  watched  the  play 
of  her  animated  features  and  the  light  of  her  dark 


GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE.  131 

brown  eyes,  and  felt  that  she  was  the  one  woman 
in  the  universe  that  suited  me,  the  one  woman  I 
could  respect  and  love  passionately  at  the  same 
time. 

'  You  say  truly  I  am  a  coward.  I  am  aware 
of  that.  I  admit  that  I  am  all  that  is  detestable. 
If  such  a  wretch  as  you  describe  were  to  love  a 
woman,  what  unhappiness  for  him  !  There  could 
be  no  hope  for  him.  He  would  know  his  own 
irredeemable  unworthiness,  and  so  could  only 
slink  away  in  shame. 

'You  are  quite  right,'  she  cried,  laughing  mer- 
rily. '  That  would  be  the  only  course  for  him  to 
pursue.' 

"By  the  way,'  I  said,  'that  reminds  me  that 
my  train  goes  out  in  twenty  minutes.' 

r  I  rose,  and  she  also  stood  up  to  accompany  mis 
lo  the  door.  I  held  out  my  hand.  It  was  an 
unusual  demonstration,  and  perhaps  she  thought 
it  meant  good-by  in  earnest.  At  least,  as  shb 
put  her  hand  in  mine,  I  detected  a  look  I  had 
never  before  seen  in  the  depths  of  those  fine 
eyes.  With  a  sudden,  unpremeditated,  and  irre- 
sistible movement,  I  drew  her  close  to  me,  folded 
my  arms  about  her,  and  kissed  her  passionately. 


132  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

' '  Clara  I '  I  whispered,  '  I  love  you  I  I  love 
you  !  Don't  tell  me  to  go.' 

w  She  gently  drew  herself  out  of  my  reluctant 
arms,  and  though  her  eyes  were  misty  now,  I  saw 
in  them  that  I  was  to  stay. 

w  That 's  all  the  story  I  have  to  tell  you,  Charlie. 
I  am  too  happy  to-night  to  sleep,  so  I  couldn't 
let  you  sleep.  I  stayed  and  spent  the  evening. 
Mr.  Desmond,  bless  his  dear  old  heart  I  cried  over 
Clara,  and  gave  her  an  old-fashioned  blessing. 
I  walked  home  on  ah-.  Do  I  look  very  badly 
corned  ?  " 

I  gave  him  a  rousing  hand-shake,  and  wiped 
away  a  stray  bit  of  moisture  from  my  cheek. 

"  May  I  tell  Bessie  ?  "  were  my  first  words  when 
I  found  my  tongue. 

"  Why  not?  There  will  be  no  long  engagement 
in  this  case.  The  knot  shall  be  tied  as  soon  as 
possible." 

The  announcement  I  made  to  my  little  wife  the 
following  morning  was  not  entirely  unexpected, 
yet  it  filled  her  with  delight.  Miss  Van  was  the 
woman  of  all  others  that  Bessie  wished  to  have 
George  marry.  The  arrangement  was,  therefore, 


GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE.  133 

completely  to  her  satisfaction,  and  she  beamed 
upon  the  happy  George  with  true  sisterly  affec- 
tion. 

What  effect  would  the  news  have  upon  Mrs. 
Pinkerton?  I  asked  myself.  I  had  not  long  to 
wait  for  an  answer,  for  it  was  at  the  breakfast- 
table  that  George  fired  the  shot. 

"  Mother,"  said  the  bold  youth,  "  I  'm  going  to 
be  married." 

His  mother  abruptly  stopped  stirring  her  coffee, 
and  her  spine  visibly  stiffened,  but  she  said  noth- 
ing. 

"The  event  will  occur  without  delay.  Of  course 
it  is  useless  to  inform  you  who  is  the — " 

"Quite  useless,"  Mrs.  Pinkerton  broke  in;  "my 
wishes  in  the  matter  are  not  of  the  slightest  conse- 
quence to  you." 

"On  the  contrary.  Now,  look  here;  don't  be 
so  infernally  quick  to  anticipate  my  wilfulness.  I 
want  to  conform  to  your  wishes  if  I  can.  Que 
faire? 

w  We  will  talk  about  it  after  breakfast." 

Accordingly,  there  was  a  serious  passage-at- 
arms  hi  the  library  after  breakfast.  George  left 


134  MT   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

the  house  a  conqueror,  but  the  conquered  had  no 
sort  of  intention  of  abandoning  the  campaign  after 
a  Bull  Run  defeat.  In  fact,  war  had  only  just 
oeen  declared.  It  must  not  be  supposed  that  it 
was  a  war  the  movements  of  which  could  be  fol- 
lowed by  the  acutest  military  observer ;  the  bat- 
teries were  all  masked,  but  the  gunpowder  was 
there.  I  felt  confident  that  George  would  carry 
everything  before  him,  and  he  did.  He  brought 
Miss  Van  over  to  spend  the  evening,  and  we  had 
me  pleasantest  time  imaginable.  He  would  not 
allow  his  mother  to  say  a  word  against  Miss  Van, 
and  made  a  fair  show  of  proving  that  the  latter 
had,  not  only  better  blood,  but  also  better  breeding 
and  a  truer  sense  of  propriety  than  my  mother-in- 
law,  that  is,  "when  it  came  to  the  scratch,"  as 
George  said.  "  But  who  would  give  a  snap  for  a 
young  woman  who  can't  throw  aside  the  shackles 
of  conventionality  once  in  a  while,  and  be  her- 
self? " 

Miss  Van  was  her  own  jolliest,  sweetest  self  at 
this  time.  Her  beauty  had  never  been  so  notice- 
able :  joy  is  an  excellent  cosmetic,  and  love  paints 
far  better  than  rouge  or  powder. 


GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE.        135 

As  socn  as  Mrs.  Pinkerton  had  recovered  from 
IK  r  defeat,  and  when  the  engagement  had  be- 
<•;  me  an  acknowledged  fact  which  all  the  world 
might  know,  the  wedding  began  to  loom  up 
before  us,  and  I  could  not  help  wondering  if  St. 
Thomas's  Church  was  to  be  the  scene  of  as  fash- 
ionable and  grand  a  display  as  on  the  occasion 
when  Bessie  and  myself  were  made  one. 

I  felt  reasonably  certain  that  Mrs.  Pinkerton 
would  make  an  effort  to  that  end,  and  I  was  curi- 
ous to  see  how  George  would  look  on  it. 

Bessie,  I  think,  would  have  been  glad  to  see  the 
marriage  take  place  with  as  much  pomp  and  show 
as  possible.  She  was  intensely  interested  in  what 
Clara  should  wear,  and  every  visit  from  that  young 
woman  was  the  occasion  for  a  vast  deal  of  confi- 
dential and  no  doubt  highly  important  tete-a-tete 
consultation. 

Mother-in-law  sailed  into  the  library  one  even- 
ing with  unusual  celerity  of  movement. 

"  George,  dear,"  she  said,  "  this  cannot  be  true  I 
You  would  not  permit  such  an  eccentric,  uncivil- 
ized proceeding.  Surely  you  will  not  offend  our 
friends  by  —  " 


136  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

"  Avast  there  !  Our  friends  be  hanged  !  "  cried 
George  wickedly.  "Yes,  it's  true,  too  true.  The 
ceremony  will  be  private,  and  no  cards.  You  can 
come,  though  !  Next  Wednesday,  at  two  o'clock, 
sharp  I  " 

This  was  cruel.  I  could  see  his  mother  almost 
stagger  under  the  blow.  She  attempted  to  remon- 
strate, but  it  was  too  late.  George  assured  her 
that  "it  was  all  fixed,"  and  that  Clara  had  agreed 
with  him  regarding  the  details. 

"  Honest  old  John  Stephens  will  tie  the  knot," 
said  he,  "and  it  will  be  just  as  tight  as  if  Dr. 
McCanon  manipulated  the  holy  bonds.  I  trust  we 
shall  have  the  pleasure  of  your  company,  mother. 
Consider  yourself  invited.  A  few  of  the  choicest 
spirits  will  be  on  hand.  Clara  will  wear  the  most 
exquisite  gray  travelling  suit  you  ever  laid  eyes 
on." 

The  widow  was  flanked,  outgeneralled,  routed 
along  the  whole  hue.  She  brought  forward  all 
her  reserve  forces  of  good-breeding,  and  thus 
escaped  a  disastrous  panic  by  retiring  in  good 
order. 

The   ceremony   occurred,    as    George   had  an- 


GEORGE'S  NEW  DEPARTURE.  137 

nounced,  the  following  Wednesday.  The  near 
relatives  and  best  friends  of  the  young  couple 
were  present,  and  it  was  a  quiet  and  thoroughly 
enjoyable  affair  for  all  who  participated.  An 
hour  after  they  had  been  pronounced  man  and 
wife,  George  and  his  bride  rode  away  to  take  the 
train  for  the  mountains. 

"  And  on  her  lover's  arm  she  leant, 

And  round  her  waist  she  felt  it  fold, 
And  far  across  the  hills  they  went 
In  that  new  world  which  is  the  old." 


138  MT   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

BABY   TALK,    OLD   DIVES,   AND   OTHER  THINGS. 


cottage  seemed  dull  enough  after  the 
departure  of  George  with  his  bride.  Bessie 
was  so  absorbed  by  the  care  of  our  little  one  that 
she  had  very  little  time  to  think  of  anything  else, 
and  in  fact  the  new-comer,  for  the  time  being, 
monopolized  the  attention  of  his  grandmother  as 
well  as  of  his  mother.  I  was  therefore  left  to  my 
own  resources. 

"  Baby  is  not  very  well,  Charlie,"  Bessie  in- 
formed me,  one  morning,  with  an  anxious  air. 
"Do  you  think  it  would  do  to  wrap  him  up  well 
and  take  him  for  a  little  ride  this  afternoon?" 

"Yes,  that's  a  good  idea.  If  I  can  get  that 
black  horse  at  the  livery  stable,  I  '11  bring  him 
around  this  afternoon.  But  I  don't  see  why  you 
should  wrap  him  up.  It  's  hot  as  blazes." 

"You    don't     know    anything     about    babies, 


BABY  TALK. 


Charlie.  Go  along.  Get  a  nice,  easy  carriage, 
and  we  '11  take  mother  with  us.  I  long  for  a  ride." 

I  departed,  and  secured  the  desired  "  team." 

Towards  two  o'clock  I  drove  up  to  the  cottage, 
and  the  entire  family  bundled  into  the  vehicle, 
and  we  were  off.  I  chose  a  pleasant,  shady  road, 
and  drove  slowly,  while  Bessie  and  her  mother 
filled  the  air  with  baby  talk. 

As  we  were  climbing  the  hill  near  Linwood,  I 
saw,  a  short  distance  ahead  of  us,  the  form  of  an 
elderly  gentleman  toiling  up  the  ascent  in  the  sun. 
He  seemed  fatigued,  and  stopped  as  we  drew  near 
him,  to  wipe  the  beads  of  perspiration  from  his 
brow. 

"Why,  it's  Mr.  Desmond!"  exclaimed  Bessie. 

Sure  enough  !  As  he  turned  toward  us  I  recog- 
nized the  white  vest,  the  expansive  shirt-front,  and 
the  resplendent  watch-chain  that  could  belong  to 
no  other  than  "  old  Dives  "  himself. 

"  How  d'  ye  do  ?  "  I  cried,  halting  our  fiery  steed. 

"Ah  !  Mr.  Travers,  Mrs.  Pinkerton,  how  do  you 
do?  Delighted  to  meet  you.  It's  very  warm." 

"How  came  you  so  far  out  in  the  country 
afoot?"  I  asked. 


140  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

"I  had  some  business  at  Melton,  and  lost  the 
2  :  30  train  back  to  town,  so  I  started  to  walk  to 
Lin  wood  with  the  purpose  of  taking  a  train  on  the 
other  road.  They  told  me  it  was  only  a  mile  and 
a  half,  but — ."  And  he  sighed  significantly. 

"How  fortunate  that  we  met  you,"  said  Mrs. 
Pinkerton  quickly,  taking  the  words  out  of  my 
mouth.  "Get  in  and  ride  to  Linwood  with  us. 
We  have  a  vacant  seat,  you  see." 

I  seconded  her  invitation,  and  without  much 
hesitation  he  accepted,  and  took  a  seat  by  my 
side.  The  conversation  turned  naturally  upon  the 
"  young  couple "  (Bessie  and  I  were  no  longer 
referred  to  in  that  way),  and  Mr.  Desmond 
extolled  his  niece  unreservedly.  Mother-in-law 
was  evidently  somewhat  impressed,  but  I  think 
she  made  some  mental  reservations. 

"Will  you  smoke,  Mr.  Desmond?"  I  a?ked, 
offering  him  a  cigar. 

"No,  I  thank  you." 

"Oh,  I  had  forgotten  you  did  not  approve  of 
the  habit.  Excuse  me." 

Mrs.  Pinkerton  explained  to  Mr.  Desmond,  apol- 
ogetically, that  I  was  an  irresponsible  victim  <>f  the 


BABY   TALK.  141 

nicotiiie  poison.  I  laughed,  but  Mr.  Desmond 
received  the  explanation  solemnly,  and  expressed 
his  abhorrence  for  "  the  weed." 

The  old  gentleman  professed  great  admiration 
for  baby,  and  said  that  he  looked  exactly  like  his 
mother ;  in  fact,  the  resemblance  was  almost  start- 
ling. 

By  the  time  we  had  got  to  Linwood,  our  pas- 
senger had  talked  himself  into  a  state  of  good- 
humor,  and  we  left  him  at  the  railroad  station, 
bowing  and  smiling  with  true  old-school  aplomb. 

Bessie  thought  the  ride  did  Charlie,  junior, 
good,  and  so  it  became  a  regular  thing,  on  pleas- 
ant afternoons,  to  take  him  out  for  a  little  airing. 
Mrs.  Piukertou  overcame  her  scruples,  and  usu- 
ally accompanied  us.  A  sample  of  the  sweet 
converse  held  with  my  sou  and  heir  on  the  back 
seat  will  suffice  :  — 

"  Sodywazzaleetlecatchykums !  'Esoodavaboo- 
bangy  !  Mamma's  cunnin'  kitten-baby  '  " 

One  day,  just  before  noon,  when  I  had  been 
making  a  mental  calculation  as  to  how  I  should  be 
able  to  cover  the  livery-stable  bill,  a  fine  equipage 
stopped  in  front  of  the  bank,  and  through  the 


142  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

window  I  suw  the  stately  driver  hand  a  note  to 
our  errand-boy.  In  a  moment  Tommy  appeared 
in  the  room  and  handed  me  the  billet,  which  ran 
thus :  — 

MY  DEAR  MR.  TRAVERS,  —  I  trust  you  -mil  not  take 
it  amiss  if  I  send  my  coachman  out  your  way  once  in  a 
while  to  exercise  the  ponies.  Since  Clara's  taking-off, 
they  have  stood  still  too  much,  and  knowing  that  you  go  to 
ride  occasionally  with  your  family,  I  take  the  liberty  of 
putting  them  at  your  disposal  for  the  present,  with  in- 
structions to  John,  who  is  a  careful  and  trustworthy 
driver,  to  place  himself  at  your  service  whenever  you  are 
BO  disposed.  The  obl-igation  will  be  entirely  on  my  part, 
if  you  will  kindly  take  a  turn  behind  the  ponies  whenever 
you  choose.  My  regards  to  your  wife  and  Mrs.  Pinker- 
ton. 

Believe  me  yours  sincerely, 

T.  G.  DESMOND. 

I  could  find  no  objection  to  accepting  this 
kindly  offer,  so  delicately  made,  but  I  did  not 
dare  to  do  so  before  consulting  Bessie  and  her 
mother,  so  I  stepped  into  the  carriage  and  had 
John  drive  me  to  the  cottage.  There  was  a  con- 
sultation, and  after  I  had  overcome  some  feeble 
scruples  on  Mrs.  Pinkerton's  part,  which  I  am 
afraid  were  hypocritical,  we  decided  to  take 
advantage  of  Mr.  Desmond's  generosity.  I  sent 


BABY   TALK.  143 


a  note  of  thanks  back  by  John,  and  thenceforth 
we  took  our  rides  behind  "old  Dives's"  black 
ponies.  Occasionally  the  old  gentleman  himself 
carce  out  in  the  carriage,  and  proved  himself  as 
trustworthy  and  careful  a  driver  as  John,  hand- 
ling the  "  ribbons  "  with  the  air  of  an  accomplished 
whip.  The  rides  were  very  pleasant,  those  beau- 
tiful summer  days,  and  the  change  from  a  hired 
"team"  to  the  sumptuous  establishment  of  Mr. 
Desmond  was  extremely  grateful. 

Mr.  Desmond  was  doubtless  very  lonely  with- 
out his  niece.  She  had  been  the  light  of  his  home, 
and  her  absence  was  probably  felt  by  the  old  gen- 
tleman with  more  keenness  than  he  had  anticipated 
at  the  outset.  His  large  and  beautifully  furnished 
mansion  needed  the  presence  of  just  such  a  per- 
son of  vivacious  and  cheery  character  as  Clara,  to 
prevent  it  from  becoming  cheerless  in  its  grandeur. 
He  intimated  as  much,  and  appeared  unusually 
restless  and  low-spirited  for  him.  He  sought  to 
make  up  for  the  absence  of  the  sunshine  and  joy- 
ousness  that  "  Miss  Van  "  had  taken  away  with  her, 
by  applying  himself  with  especial  diligence  to 
business ;  but  he  really  had  not  much  business  to 


144  MT   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

engross  his  attention,  beyond  collecting  his  inter- 
est and  looking  out  for  his  agents,  and  it  failed  to 
fill  the  void.  He  betook  himself  to  his  club,  and 
killed  time  assiduously,  talking  with  the  men- 
about-town  he  found  there,  playing  whist,  and 
running  through  the  magazines  and  reviews  in 
search  of  wit  and  wisdom  wherewith  to  divert  him- 
self. The  dull  season  had  set  in ;  there  was  little 
doing,  in  affairs,  commerce,  politics,  or  literature  ; 
and  direct  efforts  at  killing  time  always  result  in 
making  time  go  more  heavily  than  ever.  Mr. 
Desmond's  attempt  was  like  a  curious  pas  seul, 
executed  by  a  nimble  actor  in  a  certain  extrava- 
ganza, the  peculiarity  of  which  is  that  at  every 
forward  step  the  dancer  slides  farther  and  farther 
backward,  until  finally  an  unseen  power  appears 
to  drag  him  back  into  the  flies. 

It  was  during  one  of  our  afternoon  drives,  when 
Mr.  Desmond  usurped  the  office  of  his  coachman, 
that  he  confided  to  us  a  plan  which  he  had  devised 
to  cure  his  ennui. 

"I  have  made  up  my  mind,"  he  said,  "to  go 
abroad  for  a  good  long  tour.  It  will  be  the  best 
move  I  could  possibly  make." 


BABY    TALK.  145 

"I  don't  doubt  it,"  I  said.  "How  soon  do  you 
propose  to  go  ?  "  And  Besssie  sighed,  "  O  dear, 
how  delightful  I  " 

"  My  plans  are  not  matured,"  Mr.  Desmond  con- 
tinued, "  but  I  think  I  shall  sail  early  next  month. 
My  favorite  steamer  leaves  on  the  6th." 

"  I  hope  you  will  enjoy  a  pleasant  voyage,  and 
a  delightful  trip  on  the  other  side,"  said  Mrs. 
Pinkerton  politely. 

Mr.  Desmond  returned  thanks.  Nothing  more 
was  said  that  day  concerning  his  project.  When 
he  left  us  at  the  cottage,  he  remarked,  — 

"  By  the  way,  Mr.  Travers,  I  wish  you  would 
call  at  my  office  to-morrow  morning  at  or  about 
eleven  o'clock,  if  you  can  make  it  convenient  to 
do  so." 

"I  will  do  so,"  I  replied,  wondering  what  he 
could  want  of  me. 

At  the  appointed  hour  the  next  day  I  was  on 
hand  at  his  office.  He  motioned  to  me  to  be  seated 
and  then  said, — 

"Yesterday  morning  I  met  John  K.  Blunt,  of 
Blunt  Brothers  &  Company,  at  my  club,  and  he 
told  me  that  their  cashier  had  defaulted.  An  ac- 
10 


146  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

count  of  the  affair  is  in  this  morning's  papers. 
They  want  a  new  cashier.  I  have  mentioned  your 
name,  and  if  you  will  go  around  to  their  office 
with  me,  we  will  talk  with  Blunt." 

w  Mr.  Desmond  —  "I  began,  but  he  stopped 
me. 

"  Don't  let 's  have  any  talk  but  business,"  he 
said.  "  The  figures  will  be  satisfactory,  I  am  con- 
fident." 

Satisfactory !  They  were  munificent"!  Blunt 
liked  me,  and  only  a  few  short  and  sharp  sen- 
tences from  such  a  man  as  Desmond  finished 
the  business.  I  saw  a  future  of  opulence  before 
me.  My  head  was  almost  turned.  I  tried  to 
thank  Mr.  Desmond,  but  he  would  not  listen  to  my 
earnest  expressions  of  gratitude. 

"I  have  engaged  passage  for  the  6th,"  he  told 
me  when  we  were  parting ;  "  I  will  try  to  call  at 
your  cottage  before  I  get  off.  I  am  busy  settling 
up  some  details  now.  Good  day." 

I  hastened  home  with  my  good  news.  Bessie's 
eyes  glistened  when  she  heard  it,  and  even  my 
mother-in-law  showed  a  faint  sign  of  pleasure  at 
my  good  luck. 


BABY   TALK.  147 

The  following  Saturday  evening  Mr.  Desmond 
came  out  to  see  us. 

"Don't  consider  this  my  farewell  appearance," 
he  said.  "  I  merely  wished  to  tell  you  that  my 
friends  have  inveigled  me  into  giving  an  informal 
party  Tuesday  evening,  at  which  I  shall  expect 
you  all  to  appear." 

He  talked  glibly,  for  him,  and  gave  us  an  out- 
line sketch  of  his  proposed  tour.  I  thought  he 
seemed  strangely  restless  and  nervous,  and  I 
pitied  him. 

His  "  informal  party  "  was  really  a  noteworthy 
affair,  and  the  wealth  and  respectability  of  the 
city  were  well  represented.  Bessie  could  not  go, 
on  account  of  the  baby,  so  I  acted  as  escort  to 
Mrs.  Pinkerton,  who  made  herself  amazingly 
agreeable.  There  were  not  many  young  people 
present,  and  the  affair  was  quiet  and  genteel  in  the 
extreme.  Bank  presidents,  capitalists,  professional 
men,  and"  solid"  men,  with  their  wives,  attired  in 
black  silks,  formed  the  majority  of  the  guests. 
They  were  Mr.  Desmond's  personal  friends.  My 
mother-in-law  was  in  congenial  company,  and  I 
believe  she  enjoyed  the  evening  remarkably. 


148  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

Most  of  the  conversation  turned,  very  naturally, 
upon  European  travel.  Americans  who  are  pos- 
sessed of  wealth  always  have  done  "  the  grand 
tour,"  and  they  invariably  speak  of  "  Europe  "  in 
a  general  way,  as  if  it  were  all  one  country. 

w  When  I  returned  from  my  first  tour  abroad,  a 
friend  said  to  me  that  he '  supposed  it  was  a  fine 
country  over  there,' "  said  Mr.  Desmond  to  me, 
laughing. 

Some  one  asked  him  where  he  had  decided  to 

g°- 

"I   shall  land   at  Havre,  and  go   straight  to 

Paris,"  he  answered.  "I  flatter  myself  I  am  a 
good  American,  and  as  I  have  been  comparatively 
dead  since  my  niece  left  me,  I  am  entitled  to  a 
place  in  that  terrestrial  paradise." 

I  thought  I  had  never  seen  Mrs.  Pinkerton 
appear  to  so  good  advantage  as  she  did  on  this 
occasion.  Her  natural  good  manners  and  her 
intelligence  made  her  attractive  in  such  a  com- 
pany, and  she  was  the  centre  of  a  bright  group  of 
middle-aged  Brahmins  throughout  the  entire  even- 
ing. Mr.  Desmond  appeared  grateful  for  the 
assistance  *»he  rendered  in  making  his  party  pass 


fiABY  TALK. 


off  pleasantly,  and  as  for  me,  I  began  to  feel  that 
I  had  never  quite  appreciated  her  best  qualities. 
She  was  a  woman  that  one  could  not  wholly  know 
in  a  year,  perhaps  not  in  a  lifetime.  "Who 
knows?"  I  thought;  "perhaps  I  have  wronged 
my  mother-in-law." 


150  MY   MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


CHAPTER     XIII. 

A   SURPRISE. 

\  \TE  were  feeling  a  little  solemn  at  the  cottage. 
George,  with  his  lively  ways,  and  Clara, 
with  her  sparkling  vivacity,  were  away  on  their 
wedding  tour,  and  our  good  friend,  Mr.  Desmond, 
to  whom  we  had  taken  a  great  liking,  was  about 
to  sail  for  an  indefinite  absence  in  foreign  lands. 
Though  the  mother-in-law's  presence  was  less 
oppressive  than  formerly,  there  was  now  a  pen- 
siveness,  an  air  of  departed  glory  about  it,  that 
was  not  cheerful.  There  was  danger  of  settling 
down  to  a  humdrum  sort  of  life,  free  from  strife, 
perhaps,  flut  at  the  same  time  devoid  of  that  buoy- 
ancy which  should  make  the  home  of  a  young 
couple  joyous. 

I  was  a  little  doubtful  of  making  a  vacation  in 
the  country  this  summer.  To  be  sure,  when 
George  went  away,  it  was  agreed  that  after  he 


A  SURPRISE.  151 


had  gone  the  round  of  the  White  Mountains,  the 
attractions  of  Canada,  Niagara  Falls,  and  Sara- 
toga, he  would  return  for  a  quiet  stay  of  a  few 
weeks,  at  the  close  of  the  season,  to  the  little 
resort  which  we  had  visited  a  year  ago,  and  there, 
if  Bessie's  health  would  permit,  and  I  could 
arrange  for  a  sufficient  absence  from  business,  we 
would  join  them.  But  I  almost  dreaded  taking 
Mrs.  Pinkerton  with  us,  and  doubted  whether  she 
would  go ;  at  the  same  time,  I  did  not  like  to 
propose  leaving  her  behind  to  take  care  of  the 
cottage.  I  was  in  perplexity,  and,  notwithstand- 
ing my  splendid  new  prospects  in  business,  was 
not  feeling  cheerful. 

Coming  home  from  a  restless  round  of  the  city 
on  the  Fourth  of  July,  where  I  had  found  the  great 
national  holiday  a  bore,  I  noticed  Mr.  Desmond's 
team  coming  up  to  the  garden  gate  with  a  brisk 
turn.  That  fine  old  gentleman  —  I  always  feel 
like  calling  him  old  on  account  of  his  gray  whiskers, 
though  he  was  little  more  than  fifty  —  came  down 
the  walk  and  with  stately  politeness  assisted  Bessie 
and  the  baby  out  of  the  carriage.  I  looked  to  see 
Mrs.  Pinkerton  follow,  but  she  was  not  there,  and 


152  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

clearly  Mr.  Desmond  had  not  been  to  ride.  It 
struck  me  as  a  little  queer,  not  to  say  amusing, 
that  they  had  been  having  a  quiet  tete-a-tete 
together  in  the  cottage  while  John  gave  Bessie  and 
the  baby  their  airing.  But  then,  it  was  not  so 
strange  either,  for  was  he  not  going  to  leave  us  hi 
two  days  ?  It  was  no  uncommon  thing  for  Mrs. 
Pinkerton  to  stay  within  while  Bessie  was  out,  and 
he  had  probably  dropped  in  late  in  the  afternoon, 
expecting  to  find  us  all  at  home,  as  it  was  a  holi- 
day. I  bade  him  good  by  in  case  I  did  not  see 
him  again,  as  he  got  into  the  carriage  to  ride  back 
to  the  city. 

K  Oh,  I  shall  see  you  to-morrow,"  he  said  in  a 
brisk  tone  which  had  not  been  habitual  with  him 
of  late. 

That  evening  my  mother-in-law  was  uncom- 
monly gracious,  a  little  absent-minded,  and  more 
pleasant  in  spirit  than  I  had  ever  known  her. 
She  seemed  to  be  filled  with  an  inward  satisfaction 
that  I  could  not  make  out  at  all.  Bessie  and  I 
both  remarked  it,  but  could  not  surmise  any 
cause  for  the  apparent  change  that  had  come  over 
the  spirit  of  her  dream. 


A   SURPRISE.  153 


Next  morning,  on  reaching  town,  I  found  a 
note  asking  me  to  step  over  to  Mr.  Desmond's 
office  when  I  could  find  time.  I  went  at  my  leis- 
ure, wondering  what  was  up.  As  I  entered,  he 
seemed  remarkably  cordial  and  happy. 

"  I  find  that  Blunt,"  he  said  in  a  business-like 
way,  "  would  like  to  have  you  take  hold  at  once,  if 
possible.  Their  affairs  are  hi  some  confusion  and 
need  an  experienced  hand  to  straighten  them  out. 
It  will  be  necessary  for  you  to  give  a  bond,  which 
I  have  here  all  prepared,  with  satisfactory  sureties, 
and  you  need  only  give  us  your  signature,  which 
I  will  have  properly  witnessed  on  the  spot." 

"  Oh,  is  that  it  ?  "  I  thought.  Strange  I  did  n't 
think  of  its  having  something  to  do  with  my  new 
position.  I  knew  I  could  get  away  from  my 
old  place  at  a  week's  notice,  as  I  had  already 
made  known  my  intention  to  leave,  and  there 
were  several  applicants  for  the  position.  The 
bond  was  executed  without  hesitation. 

"You  will  not  lose  your  vacation,"  Mr.  Des- 
mond said,  "though  your  salary  will  begin  at 
once.  As  soon  as  you  can  get  matters  in  order, 
which  may  take  a  month  or  more,  you  are  to  be 


154  MY  MOTHER-IN-iAW. 

allowed  a  few  weeks'  absence  to  recuperate  and 
get  fully  prepared  for  your  new  responsibilities." 

Thanking  him  for  his  kindness,  I  was  about  to 
go,  when  he  said,  "  Sit  down,  Mr.  Travers.  I 
have  something  else  to  say  to  you." 

w  What 's  coming  now  ?  "  I  wondered,  as  I  took 
my  seat  again.  Mr.  Desmond  seemed  a  little  at 
a  loss  how  to  begin  his  new  communication,  and 
came  nearer  appearing  embarrassed  than  I  should 
have  thought  possible  for  him. 

"The  fact  is,"  he  said  at  last,  "I  have  changed 
my  mind  about  going  abroad." 

I  have  no  doubt  I  looked  very  much  surprised 
and  puzzled,  and  smiling  at  the  expression  of  my 
face,  he  went  on, — 

"  Your  mother-in-law,  Mrs.  Pinkerton,  is  a  very 
worthy  woman;  hi  fact,  a  remarkably  worthy 
woman." 

I  could  n't  deny  that ;  but  why  should  he  choose 
euch  a  time  and  place  to  compliment  her  ? 

"  Do  you  know,"  he  added,  with  a  still  nearer 
approach  to  embarrassment  in  his  manner,  and 
something  like  a  blush  on  his  usually  calm  face, 
"  I  have  asked  her  to  become  Mrs.  Desmond." 


A   8UBPRISE.  155 


w  The  devil  you  have ! "  was  my  thought  as 
astonishment  fairly  overcame  me.  I  didn't  say 
it;  though,  but  it  was  my  turn  to  be  embarrassed, 
and  I  hardly  knew  what  to  say. 

Having  got  it  out,  Mr.  Desmond  fairly  recov- 
ered his  equanimity.  "  Yes,"  he  said,  "  I  put  the 
idea  away  from  me  for  a  long  time,  but  it  would 
persist  in  growing  upon  me,  and  I  finally  con- 
cluded that  perhaps  it  might  contribute  to  the 
happiness  of  all  parties,  so  I  have  taken  the 
plunge.  I  hope  you  approve  of  it,"  he  added, 
with  a  queer  twinkle  in  his  eye. 

"  With  all  my  heart,  sir,"  I  said  earnestly ;  "and 
I  am  sure  it  will  be  as  pleasing  as  it  is  surprising 
to  us  all." 

Throughout  that  afternoon  I  was  restless,  and 
eager  to  get  home  to  tell  Bessie  the  wonderful 
news.  It  was  the  longest  afternoon  I  ever  saw, 
but  at  length  it  passed  and  I  hurried  home.  As 
Bessie  met  me  at  the  door  I  said  eagerly,  "  I  Ve 
got  a  surprise  for  you,  deary." 

Now  I  noticed  for  the  first  time  that  she  was  all 
smiles  and  full  of  something  that  she  was  eager  to 
surprise  me  with.  Simultaneously  each  recognized 


156  MY  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 

that  the  other  had  the  secret  already.  Of  course ; 
what  a  fool  I  was  I  Her  mother  naturally  enough 
would  tell  her  while  Mr.  Desmond  broke  the  mat- 
ter to  me. 

"Is n't  it  jolly?"  I  said. 

"  Why,  Charlie,  are  you  then  so  anxious  to  get 
rid  of  poor,  dear  mamma?"  she  said,  half  re- 
proachfully and  half  teasingly. 

"  Oh,  no,  of  course  not,  but  it  is  really  nice  for 
all  of  us,  is  n't  it  now  ?  She  won't  be  far  off,  you 
know ;  we  shall  have  our  little  home  all  to  our- 
selves, and  Mr.  Desmond  will  be  a  sort  of  guardian 
for  us.  And  as  I  said  before,  I  think  it  is  jolly." 

w  Well,  I  must  confess  I  do  not  altogether  like 
the  idea  of  mamma  marrying  again,  and  I  shall 
miss  her  very  much,  after  all." 

I  could  n't  help  laughing  at  the  little  woman's 
demure  countenance,  as  she  said  this.  There  was 
a  little  trace  of  jealousy  in  her  gentle  heart  — 
jealousy  so  natural  to  women  —  at  the  idea  of 
another's  taking  her  mother  off,  just  as  that  good 
woman  had  been  jealous  at  her  taking  off.  I 
accused  her  of  it,  and  she  repudiated  the  idea. 

But   everybody  must    admit  that  things    had 


A   SURPRISE.  157 


fallen  out  just  right  for  all  parties,  and  the  shad- 
ow was  to  be  taken  from  our  household  by  a 
new  burst  of  sunlight,  without  any  heart-burning 
for  anybody,  and  with  nothing  but  satisfaction  for 
all.  It  was  arranged  that  the  new  marriage 
should  presently  occur,  and  the  mature  couple 
take  a  little  trip,  and  surprise  George  and  Clara 
by  being  at  the  Fairview  Hotel  before  them. 
Their  first  knowledge  of  the  turn  of  affairs  was  to 
come  when  they  arrived  there  late  in  August,  and 
found  their  new  relations  in  possession.  Bessie 
and  I  were  to  join  the  party  for  a  brief  stay,  and 
so  my  perplexity  was  happily  ended. 


158  MY   MOTHEB-IN-LAW. 


CHAPTER    XIV. 

A   HAPPT   PROSPECT. 

landscape  is  lovely  in  these  latter  days  of 
August.  The  mountains  are  grand  and  sol- 
emn in  their  everlasting  silence.  We  are  together 
at  the  Fairview,  and  everybody  feels  free  and 
happy.  There  is  no  restraint,  and  our  future  pros- 
pects are  delightful.  Before  George  left  home  in 
June  he  had  made  application  for  a  vacant  chair 
hi  the  Medical  College  and  presented  his  creden- 
tials and  testimonials.  He  expected  nothing  from 
it,  he  said,  but  would  leave  me  to  look  out  and 
see  what  decision  was  made.  I  had  brought  with 
me  the  news  of  his  appointment.  I  had  also  se- 
cured for  him  the  refusal  of  an  elegant  house  which 
had  been  suddenly  vacated  and  offered  for  sale  on 
account  of  the  failure  in  business  of  its  owner.  It 
was  very  near  our  cottage,  had  lovely  surround- 
ings, was  beautifully  furnished,  and  was  to  be 


A   HAPPY   PEOSPECT.  159 

sold  with  all  its  contents.  It  has  now  been  de- 
cided between  George  and  Mr.  Desmond  that  it 
shall  be  purchased  at  once,  and  shall  become  the 
legal  possession  of  Clara,  being  paid  for  out  of 
her  ample  fortune,  now  under  her  own  control, 
but  not  yet  taken  from  her  uncle's  keeping. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Desmond  will  take  possession  of 
the  city  mansion,  and  I  have  no  doubt  that  its 
state  and  elegance  will  be  fully  kept  up.  I  see 
before  me  happy  times  for  us  all,  and  at  last  I 
think  we  understand  and  appreciate  each  other. 
Our  relations  being  properly  and  happily  adjusted, 
there  will  be  no  more  "unpleasantness."  And  I 
must  acknowledge  that,  in  spite  of  past  feelings 
and  the  little  clouds  that  have  flecked  our  sky, 
sometimes  appearing  dark  and  portentous,  these 
happy  results  are  due  in  no  small  measure  to 
Mr  MOTHER-IN-LAW. 


THE  END. 


